Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle

I disagree with Oliver. I think There is no excuse for doing evil.

Good. Don’t. Oliver may be friendly, but he is a bit of a worldly wiseman… er… wisegorb.

Oh because Martha’s father is the one who found the wizard in the woods, and the wizard was Alan’s father! It’s all making sense now! If I’m right………….

I can’t say now,…[Read more]

I don’t have a problem with holding hands before marriage either, it’s just mainly the way Aaron thinks about it.

@ellette-giselle

My dad said that it’s the natural way for a guy to think, and he has to overcome that through God’s grace. Is it a bad scene? I can cut that thought if you think it would be better…….

Maybe just remove that one thought where he wonders what holding her hand will be like. I don’t have a problem with him thinking she looks pretty.…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow

Next chapter. I wrote this faster than I thought I would, so you are getting is several days early. In exchange, you will be forced to wait after a cliffhanger that was more exciting than the previous one because I will likely not be writing much on the weekend. (I know, I know. I want to…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Now the stakes are rising. I feel like the war and Aaron’s mission are closer tied together now that the prince is a Christian and the war is causing Aaron to doubt.

Yes, I do think Aaron’s character is improving with his growing doubt. It does make him more relatable. He is also starting to show some pride issues. Use these…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ack! Awkward romantic moments!

See the mettle armor?

I think you mean ‘metal’ here. Good to see armour thought, it always helps things feel more medieval.

So Aaron has managed to work his way up to the prince. I wonder where this will go, but I feel the prince may eventually become a Christian as well, though it could go the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

You used “whipped” instead of “wiped”

Not the first time I’ve done that. Alan has had his memory whipped by before (which I guess means he was whipped until he forgot what he was supposed to? I don’t know), but as my friend said when he noticed that, “when there’s a whip, there’s a way.”

So, you have the next one?

I am going t…[Read more]

Some tags decided not to work again. Let’s try that once more:
@keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow

Next chapter. As Ellette predicted, things start to get messy here.

Chapter the 10th: (https://editor.reedsy.com/s/T1bLc1N/c/ZqPt_58SO73q86vE/chapter-the-10th)

@ellette-giselle

That’s all I have on that……..

Okay, thank you. That is helpful.

NICE! I will pester you if I do not wake up to the next chapter tomorrow.

Excellent!

@keilah-h

Sorry, forgot the tag

Google Photos link to my drawing. If you like it, make sure to save it, because I am going to take this link down after you are done judging. (https://photos.app.goo.gl/6yjohfkDfwKhGxAw6)

@ellette-giselle

I like how Sabina asks to be baptized without lots of people asking. I know the idea of being baptized in front of everyone scares some new believers, especially teens. I also like to see the variety of personalities in different characters as they become Christians.

Prediction: Something dangerous is just around the corner.

@ellette-giselle

Phew! That’s a lot about horses. I think I will grab everything you said about them and save it in a document for future reference. In case you could not tell, Martha likes horses and would definitely know all of this, so in order to have her talk about it, I will need to know it. Thank you for typing this all out! Is this the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Well, I actually kinda got hesitant about sharing it because I might have lost confidence in it being any good at all…….. I felt like the whole point of the story was being lost because of the other places that I was falling short. Do you think that’s true?

I have more to submit if you want me to.

I think you should keep on shari…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

(You too, as long as he and I are both satisfied by the end. lol.)

Heh heh. I’ll try.

Oooo, I love the drawings! They do look a little wingfeatherish. They’re quite good.

Thank you!

Fairly well. What I’m getting is that the dear instict makes them run….. but why would it not do that to archers. I would think being an archer would…

[Read more]

Also, this may give you the option to join this album. I tried to turn that off. Please ignore that and do not add any images.

I will add illustrations of all the non-human races I have created as well.

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow @savannah_grace2009 (I know you are taking a break from Kingdome Pen, Sara, so I will just tag you this final time until you return)

Since Wyoh or whatever we are calling the creature that is currently devouring images is on the loose, I will share images of my characters through other…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Thank you for the detailed feedback! I has good grammers, eh?

spinach? Oh man, I am laughing so hard! I mean, what a way to start a story after that prologue! You have defiantly got me hooked, just because I can’t imagine where you are going with spinach! Haha! You obviously have a good sense of humor!
Ok, I’ll keep rea…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Hmmm, so the girl is a soldier? I personally don’t like women in battle. It’s ugly. I have plenty more thoughts on that….. but i won’t make you listen to them. lol. This is more of a personal complaint/thought, not an edit.

Seems I have hit a controversial topic here. This is something that my brother has given me grie…[Read more]