katie

@kate-flournoy I’ll try to stop in soon, in which case I’ll probably go later. I may also have to leave abruptly at any time, so I don’t know how this is gonna go.

@Daeus @Dragon-Snapper I’m writing… join in. How far do you guys wanna go? I’m going till 9:45, but don’t feel obligated.

About starting off with the theme thing, I mean.

Yeah. That.

Obviously I can’t take credit for you being an all around awesome person.

@Emma-Flournoy *beams proudly* I have taught you well, my young apprentice.

XD

@HowlingWolf It sounds like you’ve done a good job on characterization already. 😀 Manuel and Lilly have stolen my heart.

The best kind are undoubtedly those that don’t raise false expectations. So specific, I know. 😛 But I’d much rather have an unexciting one than one that makes me really excited and then doesn’t satisfy.
For good ones though, the kind that start off either with a great dialogue line or action are catching, if truly funny or intelligent or…[Read more]

@Daeus what, the one that goes ‘The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living’ one? I’m not sure I remembered that right, but it was the best I could do on short notice… 😛

@Dragon-Snapper what they said— questions. Not necessarily something gaudy or high-tension— just questions.

@dragon-snapper Aha, but not anymore.

@daeus Go to recent forum topics. There are two topics of this.

@dragon-snapper This isn’t my strength either, but getting the reader to ask a question is definitely a good idea. A lot of the time, writing instructors will tell you to start things off with a bang, but I’m not so sure about that. For myself, I’m neutral about bangs. I like the bang, but in other ways it seems just a little pushy and most of all…[Read more]

I only see one

Ahh! How’d I make two of those? @daeus Are you able to delete the other one? 😛 Oops.

Ahh! How’d I make two of those? @daeus Are you able to delete the other one. 😛 Oops.

@daeus one last suggestion about the final sentence.

he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered, everything he cherishes put to the test, and a long-hidden truth that will threaten his life.

I think that there should be a ‘being’ between ‘for’ and ‘shattered’. There needs to be some sort of verb there.

@HowlingWolf Well I wish I did, but I don’t write books so…no. 😛

@Daeus That’s great! One last thing I noticed is this though—the third and fourth sentence both have the same structure. The structure Kate pointed out. So maybe change one of them; I think it’d sound better. You cleared up any confusion though, and I love the last sentence.