Cloaked Mystery

Chapter 12

A Law

The sight that greeted Lilitu was like a cold slap in the face.

In front of the church stood three Pythonos, each with a dark horse by their side.

Jraldath, Selena, and Rrath.

A chill went down Lilitu’s spine. Unfortunately, the trio’s reputation preceded them—and it was covered with the blood of innocent victims.

The bells…[Read more]

@theducktator

Why do you always have the BEST memes?!?! Those are great XD

@whalekeeper

Girlll for a second I was scared you were gonna talk about my story and I was scared XD

yeah that’s hard.

I would just encourage her to talk to her parents about it. Maybe just gently talk to her about your concerns? She might (and will probably) get defensive, but still it’s worth a shot if you care about her that much.

I’m not…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Yeah I’ll think about doing something like that.

Again, sorry if that scene made you uncomfortable (or anyone else!)! <3

And thanks for reading my stuff!

@theducktator

Haha I love em!

@rae

Aww that scene was sooo cute! <3

@whalekeeper

I feel like the blindness bit was too much? I mean for Chase to give up his sight as well as his mobility. It’s too on-the-nose for Chase’s character, since he often gets marked with physical things like scars, stuttering, and the mobility thing. I felt less sorry for him, and more “oh okay that happened.”Idk, it felt like waaaaay…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @savannah_grace2009 I have a Chase scene for you

@whalekeeper @loopylin @grcr @theducktator @esther-c @kielah-h @theshadow @ellette-giselle @anyone

I have a really sweet but sad Chase scene. For context, this is after Chase’s last battle with Narsa Jeptune.

oh, and beware, I’ve barely edited this. Criticism welcome 🙂

Chase…

[Read more]

@theducktar

I am the #1 banana hater, so none :p

@theducktator

6 or 7

@keilah-h

No no no! You didn’t offend me! I just felt bad for posting it XD

And you’re good I wasn’t upset or offended at all…I just you know, felt bad, and I’m sorry if that scene made you uncomfortable :/

I’m just saying that if I had picked up your fully written, published book and read it through, I might’ve felt a little iffy about the…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I think 7 looks the best.

@whalekeeper

This is a hard situation. I’m not going to tell you what to do, because I haven’t dealt with such situations before, and I’m not going to claim any authority on the subject (though I do have family who might be able to help). That being said, the biggest red flag to me is her parents. If she is not only willing, but actively…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

Thank you for reading them!!!!!!!!!!!!! That means a lot <3

@grcr

WHY DON’T YOU LIKE IT

I love it so much!!

I think I’m going to keep it the same for now, and then change it if I feel like it XD

@whalekeeper

you need people to believe in you, even if you can’t sometimes. I have low self-esteem sometimes and I need my mom to put me back on track. If we tell ourselves we are worth nothing, that’s going to have mental consequences later down the road.

Yes yes yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!

As someone who completely relates to Sef…[Read more]

@anyone

Chapter 11

Wolves

“Sef?”

Sef looked up from sweeping the floor, and saw Neveah standing in the doorway.

“What is it?”

“We’re forgetting something,” Neveah smiled wryly.

“Forgetting something?” Sef repeated, confused.

“Yes. We’re forgetting to think of names for the child.”

A knot of anger grew in Sef’s stomach.

“We’re going to…[Read more]

@jonas

This phrasing sounds a bit awkward.

I’m cringing…

WHYYY

apparently I didn’t edit it as well as I thought…

Ooops yeah I’ll fix that.

That’s a lot of “that”s.

NOOOO I’M CRINGING AGAIN

what was I thinking?!? I just committed a crime…to use the same word three times in a sentence…how could I?!?!

By this point, you’ve managed to conv…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper

Thanks that makes me feel a little better!

And I know it’s weird that I’m only 14 and are writing about this kind of stuff…

And what’s even more strange is that I was never ever exposed to violence or horror movies or bad books as a young child. So at eight years old when I started writing about slavery and…[Read more]