Janellebelovedpig

@linus-smallprint

Oooh that’s a good idea!!

And I like your ideas too…I feel like that would be really cool if we did something like that

@elishavet-pidyon

Haha!!! I literally had nothing to do for three days in the car. I read everything in the art section, everything in the general writing section. XD

Now that I’m going back to the beginning…

This is really hard XD

because I know you’re trying to go for the “chaos” vibes of a big family as they get ready for church and the party. You set up Hallie, Easton, and the parents pretty well, especially for the fast-paced scene, but the other siblings kind of disappear throughout the book.

Maybe…[Read more]

@esther-c

To be honest, I’m not really sure.

I might have to reread it a little more and let you know XD

@savannah_grace2009

Ok thank you!!

I was thinking there needed to be more family interaction too. I’m glad you caught that. Is there a certain spot on the book that you think those types of scenes would fit best? (If not, that’s fine)

Ok yes!! I will for sure do that! It will be fun for me to take time to flesh out the characters individually…[Read more]

@esther-c

I would just like to see it set up a little more at the very beginning chapters.

I know you’re going for chaos on the Sunday morning before church, but like I mentioned before, since Easton and Hallie’s family is a big one, I think you need to focus more on their family and the dynamics. I’d love to see Hallie’s closeness with her mom…[Read more]

@grcr @savannah_grace2009

Thank you girls so much for reading through my book and supporting me!! 💕💕 I so so so appreciate you! ❤️

Your comments have given me a lot more confidence in the plot and characters, which I definitely needed going into a third draft.

Are there any scenes you’d like to see added? Or characters you’d like to see mor…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! you’re the best and I always love exchanging ideas with you <3

I LOVE LITTLE HALLIE

@esther-c

yeah, Cars and Phones BROKE ME

Last week my mom was at Mayo Clinic in Rochester doing more cancer treatments, which was hard since it wasn’t planned. I guess even if it was, it would be hard since she was gone for over a week and me and my siblings and my dad were all missing her a lot and attempting to keep our house from going out of…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Someone suggested I cut the last section of the blurb and leave it with the part about Jonathan’s friendship because it has more of a cliffhanger. What do you think?

@whalekeeper

On here works great!

Also, any thoughts on the book cover?

@grcr

*Gaspeth!!!*

What have you done!!!

🤣

Well, there goes that. XD

@theducktator

don’t encourage me.

@theducktator

Aha, thank you. Fixed that.

Thank you so much for the feedback!!!!

DON’T KILL EVAN. I BEG YOU.

Oh how tantalizing this sounds…….. it would be such a sad death scene……………..

@rae

Yay!!! I am so glad that you had a good time!!!!! And I am so glad that you did it! That sounds like an amazing day!

Also,

Also, apparently I haven’t shared the mock cover yet!! (At least in this forum) Here it is! (At the end of the story XD)

Also…

Look! I found little Hallie!! 🥰

@savannah_grace2009 @theducktator @grcr @smiley @keilah-h @theshadow

Ok guys… 👀 I know it’s a lot to read, but I’m dropping the last 6 chapters!! Enjoyyyy! And then give me alllll the feedback! I’m planning to finally start on the official third draft soon.

Chapter 27

Hallie rolled onto her back and let out a sigh, staring at the dark ceiling…[Read more]