Janellebelovedpig

@ellette-giselle

Oh no I’m so sorry…I didn’t see this!!!

Could we maybe still do it now??

I understand if you can’t XD

@savannah_grace2009

So keep that version?

OK, here is the cover!!

@savannah_grace2009

Awesome!! I’ll tag a few more of you too.

@stephie @theshadow @keilah-h @highscribeofaetherium @whalekeeper @rae @linus-smallprint @grcr @loopylin @freed_and_redeemed

OK all, how is this for a story starter? I want to honestly know if it catches y’all attention.

 
Prologue
7/10/2065
 

Night had fallen over the capital…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

“No, not like me,” Cassian laughed. “Be like you, Birdie. The Great One made you something special. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Much better.

I love the idea of using the seasons!

And I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good! I’m glad you liked it! It was just a spur of the moment thing. lol.

Why are you so good at…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I like that!!!!!!

YES I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE COVER

@ellette-giselle

I would love to! I don’t know if I’ll have much time but I’ll try!

@jonas

Yeah, you could do them as separate chapters, and that should work. But also, be careful about waiting too long before launching into the bulk of the story. I don’t believe we’ve even reached the inciting incident yet, and you don’t want the reader to be thinking “let’s just get on with it!” You probably still have a little bit of wiggle r…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ok, that was just a cringe for me me because of the way our country is trying to use that to justify some really horrid stuff. What if the line was,

“No, not like me,” Cass laughed. “Be like the Great One, Birdie.”

After all, Christ is our example.

Good point. I wasn’t trying to copy the people who are like “be yourself” or “fol…[Read more]

Hey, I have a rough draft I decided to settle down and rewrite. I was wondering if anyone wanted to read the prologue and tell me what they think? Just for fun. Not like serious critiques or something. More like what y’all do just sharing scenes.

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo, I really liked it! Super good! I like where this is going!

Yeah, Jonas is right again. I think you could honestly keep it in this chapter as long as you put something more important in the first section. Like the brother. Who is this other brother? This is the first we have heard of another sibling, and all we have…[Read more]

Ooo, I really liked it! Super good! I like where this is going!

Yeah, Jonas is right again. I think you could honestly keep it in this chapter as long as you put something more important in the first section. Like the brother. Who is this other brother? This is the first we have heard of another sibling, and all we have is, “Lilitu had another…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Of course that would also mean going to bed at a decent hour…like at 9 PM?!?!? That’s so early but I need to start going to bed earlier…so you could be my bedtime accountability partner XD XD

9:00 a good time to go to bed. 9:00-9:30 is my goal. Well, as you can see, I’m awake so if you want to do some sprinting I’ll do it with…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

@theshadow

 
ALTERNATE ENDING!!!
Julius lowered his head, but beyond the taunts of the voice, he could feel something. It was like the warmth of the sun’s first rays creeping into the courtyard. It was a tiny, tiny sliver of peace. Julius found himself looking back at Marcus and Flavia. I was there for them. A voice w…[Read more]

@theshadow

I do like the ambiguity of the ending, I just wanted to make sure Julius chose right lol.

well, now that there’s two of you saying it and not just one, I feel more inclined to go to go dig up the alternate ending from it’s hiding spot. lol.

It is good thing, it shows that your book has an impact on the reader.

Yay!!! I’m so glad!!

Your…

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@jonas

Okay! I was just playing around with the idea of jumping ahead as quickly as possible yet keeping a few similarities. So should I made each it’s own chapter after adding more to it?

I could use them as flashbacks!

But idk, I also like them in my book…I have to think about that.

@grcr (CASSIAN SCENE ALERT) @ellette-giselle @esther-c @rae @jonas @whalekeeper @highscribeofatherium

This scene isn’t really edited either…

But let me know if it makes sense AT ALL

Chapter 5

Birdie

“I love birds,” Sef sang as she spread her arms wide, mimicking the birds soaring overhead, silhouetted against the bright blue sky.

She lov…[Read more]

@anyone

Dropping the fourth chapter!! <3 my favorite I’ve ever written

It’s not edited so excuse any grammar/stupid mistakes XDXD

Chapter Four

A Wedding

“Where are we going, Mani?” Sef asked for the umpteenth time since they’d left the house.

“Wait and see,” Neveah smiled down at her. Sef pouted, but kept skipping, jumping over even the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I get up at around six! (so seven your time) Maybe if I got up at 5:30, I could read my Bible and then still have time to write before work!

Of course that would also mean going to bed at a decent hour…like at 9 PM?!?!? That’s so early but I need to start going to bed earlier…so you could be my bedtime accountability partner XD XD

@ellette-giselle

So, what is your opinion on the end? should I leave it unknown like it is?

I think you should show Julius accepting Jesus, and end it at that. Because I really want to know if he chose right or not! But if you like it more the way you have it then keep it!

Thank you so much for the advice you gave. I hope I was able to i…

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@savannah_grace2009

between 5:00 to 6:00 in the morning