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@valtmy I can’t promise I’ll have the time to read the entire manuscript but I’d love to beta what I can! I sent a request to get into the doc. I’m excited to dive in. 😀
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy I just happened to pop back into the forums and saw this. I remember when you requested prayer for a job interview. That’s so great you’ve found a job! God answers prayers in His perfect timing. Just wanted to bless you as you go on this new adventure. 🙂
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
General impressions: I really liked it, and find the premise/laws of fate to be very intriguing.
Some things I would expect or be interested in seeing moving forward:
– Juqing and Wanyu meeting
– The relationship between Wanyu and her father or Wanyu and her teacher/his family and the other students (how do they react to finding out she’s “responsible” for the Emperor closing their school?)
– More about the laws of Fate and Juqing’s Father’s beliefs about Epic Love Stories
– More about what Juqing and what Wanyu believe about these things
This is just a thought to get some ideas growing, but I think it would be interesting to see the Emperor believing it Fate that Juqing and Wanyu have an Epic Love Story, whilst Wanyu perhaps believes it all to be nonsense? Whether or not it is, or what Juqing would think, I can’t say. But I can see the Emperor and Wanyu having an interesting dynamic going forward.
@valtmy Let me know if you ever need more feedback on this project. I’d love to read more. 🙂And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
General impressions: I really liked it, and find the premise/laws of fate to be very intriguing.
Some things I would expect or be interested in seeing moving forward:
– Juqing and Wanyu meeting
– The relationship between Wanyu and her father or Wanyu and her teacher/his family and the other students (how do they react to finding out she’s “responsible” for the Emperor closing their school?)
– More about the laws of Fate and Juqing’s Father’s beliefs about Epic Love Stories
– More about what Juqing and what Wanyu believe about these things
This is just a thought to get some ideas growing, but I think it would be interesting to see the Emperor believing it Fate that Juqing and Wanyu have an Epic Love Story, whilst Wanyu perhaps believes it all to be nonsense? Whether or not it is, or what Juqing would think, I can’t say. But I can see the Emperor and Wanyu having an interesting dynamic going forward.
Let me know if you ever need more feedback on this project. I’d love to read more. 🙂And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy I’m available to read through this now, though it wouldn’t let me access it.
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy I’d love to read and give my feedback. I may not have the time for a couple weeks, though. I’ll put it on my to do list. 🙂
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy God is so good! I will continue to pray for His guidance and provision in your life! 🙂
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@dekreel I have very fair skin and medium brown hair. (Is that what you were looking for?)
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@daeus As did I! 🙂
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
My WIP is told in five parts, each from a different member of the cast. It’s contemporary fantasy because I just really wanted giant lizards and cell phones, magical armor and pizza in the same story.
There are three main protagonists, all apprentices to a Knight (to two different Knights, that is). They get their powers from special stones that are gifted to them. Thematically, the stones represent responsibility or power, and how different people choose to wield it. Within the story, they grant the holder with heightened physical strength, and enhances the body’s ability to heal itself, as well as gives them each a unique weapon.
The main conflict of the story comes from the tension between the different clans of knights, and even between apprentices of the same Knight, who struggle with jealousy between them. I suppose that’s all I can say without going into greater detail about the important relationships of the story (which are really what the book is about).
I love hearing other people talk about their WIP! You can tell everyone really cares and is excited about their projects and characters. 😀And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@inkling-for-christ If you want to write a story that takes place after Return of the Jedi, you could explore how Luke goes about finding other force sensitive people to train them.
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@daughteroftheking I totally agree with the others. I think we tend to forget how mature 9-13 year olds can be as we get older ourselves (at least, I know I do). Since you have a young MC, I think it’s great for you to have older important cast members. I think someone already mentioned Pixar? You can see they do an excellent job of telling stories with cast members ranging in various ages (Up being the first thing that comes to mind.) I think having adult and child characters will help it be enjoyed by a wider audience, and personally, I find stories where the population seems to be mostly children to be tough on my suspension of disbelief.
A few tips on writing child characters:
While capable of doing things for others, and being “innocent” and “sweet” I also think children can be extremely selfish, because they get caught up in what seems important now.
Related to the first, they don’t always think about the consequence of their actions, and may make decisions without foresight.
There is a lot of wiggle room in how “mature” the character is. I think varying life experience can cause variances in maturity level. Take into account the level of responsibility they’re accustomed to, when thinking about how they react to the conflicts they face.I love fairy tales, and your idea sounds like a lot of fun! My advice is go for it!
@NotAWriter *waves*And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
*coughs* I really hope I’m not reposting, but I tried to edit my post and it disappeared. . . So . . . Anyways.
@ethryndal I know from personal experience that my writing often grows with me. Your problem may be a result of growing as a person. This is frustrating to deal with, as we can’t really stop ourselves from changing. But once I identified this, it helped me not to feel as frustrated with my writing (or myself).My advice is to evaluate what you want your theme to be, and begin to trim the things that are distractions from this. Sort of like whittling at wood, or carving stone. I think it’s alright for first drafts to be a mess. Especially if you’re a discovery writer (vs. an outliner) the first draft is about discovering what the story is. Sometimes that may mean you write things that won’t end up a part of the finished product. I think that’s okay. It wasn’t without purpose, it was just part of the journey. Though I agree with the others, that deepening and exploring the different aspects of your theme isn’t a bad thing, it’s simply expanding the idea to fill a novel. You just have to decide what elements strengthen the story, and which distract from it. I think the trickiest bit will be your villain. If his motivation no longer supports your theme, that will take a lot of work to adjust.
I know it’s overwhelming when you’re staring at a pile of problems. Just focus on fixing one thing at a time (I suggest the larger problems first, as sometimes solving these seems to smooth or even erase the need to fix smaller issues.)
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy Yes, those are all very helpful! I especially like “make those sentences as snappy and quotable as dialogue”. I’d never quite thought of it that way before. Thanks! 🙂
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
@valtmy You and your family are in my prayers! I was reading Psalm 139 this morning, and part of it speaks about how there is nowhere we can go, where the presence of God is not. Height or depth, day or night, one side of the sea or the other “even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me” (verse 10). So I want to encourage you that God is with you through this, and even in your uncertainty, He is guiding you, and has a plan for your future.
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.