hybridlore

@linus-smallprint

Awesome! I approved it.

Also, one thing I just thought of; we don’t really care about the characters’ families since we haven’t met them yet. Maybe it would be a good idea to lengthen the first chapter by showing Jack and Elina getting home and seeing their parents and siblings.

@theshadow

This chapter does a good job building up the suspense! The only thing I would say is yeah, Ellette has a point. These girls seem to be so mean for no real reason that I can guess at yet. It makes them feel flatter, rather than like actual people who have motives and stuff for their actions. Their ultimate goal, especially in a…[Read more]

@jonas

Wow. I love this idea. This sounds super interesting. Is it connected to your current series?

@ellette-giselle

Aw, that’s okay! If you know of a different way to get it through, I’m open to trying other things, but I understand if it’s too difficult for you to do right now.

Some things I’d really like to hear from y’all are scene ideas. I’m planning to go back and extend a lot of the earlier chapters (at least 1-6) because I didn’t have the same word count goal for them as I do now. So if you have any ideas for scenes that would fit into those (or future scenes) I would love to hear them. So far I have a chapter…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle (I know you’re away, so don’t feel obligated to respond to this until you get back) @theshadow @whalekeeper @koshka @raxforge

Sorry these are late, it slipped my mind until last night. Without further ado, here are chapters seven and eight (also known as the underground church cha…[Read more]

@jonas

My favorite is Chromancy, but I also like Chromamancy, Prismathurgy, and Spectrathurgy. For some reason the sole “t” and “l” sounds bother me when placed in front of “urgy”.

@theshadow

Sorry it took me a day to get back to you. Even though you said you didn’t like this first chapter much, I think it has potential. It introduces the characters and their world pretty well. It is a very short chapter. Is that normal throughout the book, or is this the exception? It’s fine to have shorter chapters, but I think it might…[Read more]

@esther-c Gotcha! A P.S. would be fun, but it might lessen the impact of the ending, so it depends on what you do. As it is right now, it doesn’t scream “actual letter” to me. It’s kind of like a thank-you-note (not exactly, but I don’t know how else to explain it.) or just a note. With a word count as short as yours, that’s fine, but maybe it’d…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Wow, that was creepy. I guess I don’t like horror. But it was pretty well-written, I think. It was cool how you tied the ending into the beginning.

If you want feedback faster in the future, I would tag people, otherwise your post gets buried underneath all the other topics and we have to go scrolling for it. Although, if you e…[Read more]

@theducktator

Lolol! I would ask @jonas since he’s the leader of the Adventure one. I don’t know who’s in charge of the others… I’m sure @whalekeeper would know.

@esther-c

It looks great! This was a cool idea. I think you did a good job inserting a theme into such a tiny paragraph. Out of curiosity, how much do you have left in the word count?

Also, are you planning to add a name at the top?

@theducktator

Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Ellette is out of town for the next two weeks, and I have family visiting this week (and I’ll be on vacation next week.) I would imagine that we’ll pick it back up on one of the following Saturdays, unless @savannah_grace2009 or someone else is interested in leading them while we’re gone. I don’t k…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oh no, I’m sorry! I’ll be praying for y’all as you travel and try to get things worked out.

We’ll miss you! 😢

@ellette-giselle

We’ll have to see!

I love how you always say stuff like that like you have no idea what’s going to actually happen 😂

@the_lost-journal

Is it pronounced keh-fa or kay-fa?

@the_lost-journal

Oh, cool. I meant you didn’t have to answer if you didn’t want to because some people don’t share their names on here, and I didn’t know if it was your real name.

A lot of times people pick fake names or usernames on here for internet safety. Like Rae and Loopy. Obviously Hybridlore isn’t my real name xD

@the_lost-journal

Sometimes KP has weird glitches… the joke around here is that “Wyoh” the “ghost” eats our posts.

@ellette-giselle

Sounds good.

Yep. Like two days ago it was 80. In February. 😅 I mean, winter never lasts long here, but still. I’m not looking forward to the summer weather.

He seems like a character. I’m interested to know what he thinks of Leon and Julian and their faith.