hybridlore

@ellette-giselle

I’m not surprised.

Yeah, I hope so. Oh my goodness, yes, Martin was so brave.

@ellette-giselle

Wow. That was rough.

Poor Aelic. 😭

(I’m wondering what’s happening to Aiden now that Martin believed and died too. It would have been tough to see his brother and his cousin killed like that.)

@ellette-giselle

Lolol.

@ellette-giselle

Haha! I like Aelic too, but I really liked how you put us more in Julian’s mind than we normally get to be.

I’m like 95% sure they’re going to survive.

@ellette-giselle

Love this section! You did a great job of bringing in Julian’s character and his thoughts, like when he remembered the burning building. Their last exchange is so funny. XD

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @linus-smallprint

New chapters on the Part 2 doc!

@ellette-giselle

I feel like they’re not going to be happy. Particularly with Aelic.

@ellette-giselle

I’m worried for Aelic…

@ellette-giselle

Ahh! I love it! I’m glad they decided to go back to the village, but… 😬

@ellette-giselle

Okay!

@ellette-giselle

No, they haven’t traveled far enough for that to be a thing yet. So far they are all heading in the same direction together. That’s how I ended the last book. I can add some reminders though.

Ok, sounds good!

They actually left before that happened. (I said that in the last book) so they had no idea what even happened in the Cap…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I like it where it is as it is sort of the first rush of the downhill slide we’re about to hit.

Oh no.

@ellette-giselle

🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s the gang, y’all. The same gang from last book. The same gang we left at the end of the last book and are now picking up and the beginning of the next.

Do I really gotta remind the reader?

In the previous books in the series, the POV characters switched every time. Especially with the way that you left off the last boo…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Good section! I like it.

It was a little unclear that the other three men were joining Leon and Julian until now, unless they were in the first scene and I’m completely blaming. I just don’t think we got to hear that they were back yet.

My guess is that since no one has seen the prince’s face, they will replace him with his c…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @linus-smallprint

Next two chapters!

@theshadow

No worries! That makes sense.

@ellette-giselle

Sounds good!

Oh, gotcha, thanks.

@ellette-giselle

I have hope that you won’t kill off all the characters… but am expecting at least one of the MCs to die. 😭😫

@ellette-giselle

Great first section! You did a good job of establishing the stakes and the characters’ situations. One thought I had (for you to consider) is possibly to remove the first journal entry and start off the book with Leon. It might be a stronger beginning… but it works great with the journal entry there too.

Remind me again, who is…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oh, haha. XD. Yeah, I think we talked about it briefly right when you were first starting it.

Leon and Julian, from the last book. (Plus Albee and Ian, but I don’t think they’re coming back . . . unless they do. That would be cool.) I have a lot of other favorites, but they’re not in the Empire, so I doubt they’ll have much of a…[Read more]