hanako

@jonas

Sorry, Dalton has been taken by the protection squad, where he will be supplied with copious amounts of tea and therapy.

@hybridlore

I feel like the ending is very abrupt, almost. I know it’s meant to be a cliffhanger but it sort of feels like you cut the ending off. Then again, some books are like this so as long as there’s a second book I don’t think it’s a big problem.

I agree, the ending is abrupt, but I’m not sure how to make it any less so. It just kinda m…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I don’t have much to add, since I basically agree with Hybridlore and Jonas. Soo… yeah, other than the points mentioned, it looks good to me… 😄

@savannah_grace2009

I agree with @hybridlore (although I only skimmed it), the end seems abrupt. It almost feels like you’re stopping before the climax and resolution. Otherwise, looks good!

@rae

(his story is a salvation story… One that sometimes makes me cry).

I’ve never written something that makes me cry…But then again I don’t usually cry reading anything.

Ah, yes, perfect! I just recalled my most tortured character! (I feel a bit guilty for not thinking of him earlier, considering how tortured he is XD)

Dalton Percaro (pronounced “Dal-tun Per-care-o. It’s an Arvendin name, so it isn’t pronounced the same as the English name Dalton.)

Dalton is around 17 years old,  5’ 10”ish, has brown eyes, and d…[Read more]

@jonas

The reason his Heritage (that is what a Realn sir name is called) is spelled that way is because it was the name chosen by the first Nayhelm, who took on that name to symbolize him dropping his old life (his story is a salvation story… One that sometimes makes me cry).

@rae

Weird. I’ve always pronounced it “Nay-him.” The only problem with that spelling is that it’s a bit inconsistent since you spell Nayhelm with a y. I especially notice it since they’re in the same name, but it’s fine, since it would be a different alphabet anyway. If you spelled it “Nahelm” it would look like it might be pronounced “Nah…[Read more]

Though almost everyone pronounces it wrong when they see it spelled 🙄

@jonas
Nayhim Alfred Nayhelm
Hmm… I like my decision too, especially for Jr:
Nayhim Alfred Nayhelm Junior-Alpha Grath

@rae

“Nay-him” is a perfectly valid pronunciation since you’re not using Arabic linguistics. I agree that the y would look bad.

@freedomwriter76

Awwwww, Riker smiled! And let her hold hands with him!

@jonas @savannah_grace2009

Nae

She grasped his warm hand, jittery with joy at them all going together.

“Which way are we going, and what are we looking for?”

@highscribeofaetherium

Actually, I googled Mandin, Nahim’s best friend’s name and got no results.

@jonas

Yeah, but Ruee had already made up the pronunciation of the name, and decided she didn’t like the extra “y” when she wrote it out. And her spelling happened to be the same as the Arabic one… Fun fact: Nahim’s name used to be something akin to “Larin” back when he was a young charrie in a twelve-year-olds head.

@keilah-h

The asteroid belt in our solar system is also thought to be the remains of a planet, I think.

@rae

From what I know of how Arabic languages sound, I would think it would be pronounced “Nah-heem” or something like that, rather than “Nay-him.”

You, not out. Idk how I did that.

@rae

What I’ve learned is that pretty much anything out can imagine is a name in some language 😅

@jonas @keilah-h

Nahim also is a real name, though I did make it up my self, when I googled it a year later I discovered it to be an Arabic? I think name that means “comfortable, at ease.” In Realn it means, “strange one, lone one, survivor or last one.”

@loopylin

LOL! So true, so true. XD