Faith Kindred

I think these Were’ things open up an opportunity for a very unique and symbolic story.

Aside from giving them a new name, the only thing I think that could be a problem is people’s everyday association with the word wolf. It conjures some not so pretty stuff. I mean, let’s face it, wolves kill all sorts of things, big things, even humans…[Read more]

I think it’s just the fact that they are called werewolves that will put someone off. ‘Werewolf’ has a very distinct association in everyone’s mind, and that association is very heavily evil.
I would encourage you to keep looking for a different name.

The phony feline

I think if werewolves were real, the Bible would have mentioned them

I don’t think so. The bible deals with witchcraft because it is the root evil. If it were to condemn all forms of witchcraft it would be unnecessarily long and disturbing.

For my part, I am happy to say that I have never had any interaction with werewolves, nor do I want to or…[Read more]

That conjures up such a laughable image… 🙂 😀 😛

The Mug and Mushroom Basket.

The Snarling Griffin.

The Sign of the Cat and Cobblestone.

I just want to mention too, @Sarah-h, that werewolves are not mentioned anywhere in the Bible, even though the Bible does contain descriptions of witchcraft and things connected with it that we need to be aware of.
I think if werewolves were real, the Bible would have mentioned them, so I don’t think you need to be concerned on that score.

@sarah-h That is a good point about readers not being able to separate the real world from the fantasy world. If that happened, it could have some very bad effects. It does seem though that Little Brown Dog is doing a good job at forcing upon the reader the very sharp distinction between the real world and her world.

@howlingwolf along the lines…[Read more]

The dancing tinker

Cool! I like that.

Oh! Okay. Yes. I have made those— too many times to count. That makes sense. 🙂

“My socks are cold too.”

I love that line!

The Sign of the Scarlet Dragon…this is actually for a book of mine. 🙂

@kate-flournoy
Thanks! So glad you like Cobalt. 😀 I fixed that typo thing with the blanket fort and had him just say he could put it over his head and still see everyone through it. But, definition-wise for the blanket fort, you’ve made a fort from chairs and blankets, haven’t you? I just meant that. Because Cobalt probably still makes them.…[Read more]

For myself, I love to focus on facial expressions. The eyes, the mouth, the little wrinkle on the face, they all tell so much about how the character both acts and feels and this makes him/her unique.

I think if you tried to picture the scene in your head, you would see all sorts of details you didn’t mention in your story. If you included them…[Read more]

This sounds like a very unique setting with even a possibility for a thriller if you wanted to do that. As far as keeping your reader interested, this story does a great job. What I think mainly needs improvement is characterization. The characters are only at half death. We can make bonds with them, but not very strong ones. I also had a hard…[Read more]

This sounds like a great story. Keep it up.

My one stickler was “Wait… why do you want shoes?” The “Wait…” gave me more of a Cobalt impression than a Dr. Übel impression. It breaks his otherwise fluent character.

As far as “Upstart”, I personally thought it was perfectly fine. I did get the impression that this doctor was just the type to be…[Read more]

“I want shoes,” Cobalt pushed his socked foot out over the edge and raised an eyebrow at his captor.
Dr. Übel blinked, “What?”
“Please. Pretty please.”
“Wait… why do you want shoes?” he asked.
“My feet are cold,” answered Cobalt matter-of-factly.
“But you have socks.”
“My socks are cold too.”

*sighs, shakes head despairingly*

This kid is un…[Read more]

Hee-hee!

First of all, just let me say… this guy Cobalt— I like him. A lot. He’s a distinct, funny personality, well characterized, consistent… and he has the most amazing name. Cobalt Winter. That’s perfect. I love it.

Now.

Overall the scene is very good. There wasn’t really much I could find to pick on generally, but there were a few places…[Read more]

Go to the other one. I have no idea why two topics came up.