Faith Kindred

@Daeus Imma be super helpful here…

…

… what they said. XD

@Northerner ha! 😀 It may or may not have crossed my mind…

@daeus I like the sentence change. I do like @graciegirl‘s version too… So, yes. Not much help. Just general agreement…

@Northerner @Emma-flournoy Hey, y’all! I just emailed Emma this, but I need Northerner’s email. 😛 😀 As soon as I’ve got that, I can do the thing!

@graciegirl Oh, boy. That’s a terrible feeling. Yeah, don’t worry a bit. I like getting your critique. It takes a lot to offend me.

As for the corrections, I’ll have to give them some more thought. At the moment, I’m considering replacing the current last sentence with, “In a twist of fate, he is forced to confront the shattering of everything he…[Read more]

@emma-flournoy Hmm. Do you think I should make it just bittersweetness?

@Daeus I think lingering works. Better than anything I could come up with.

Aaand… honestly I’m not sure. It’s a toss-up. Both of those work in different ways… So helpful, I know. 😛

Ok, I’m back.

@kate-flournoy @emma-flournoy @northerner @hope @winter-rose @graciegirl.

So what do you think of lingering bittersweetness?

Also, instead of saying, “forced to confront everything he fights for shattered,” do you think it would be better to say, “forced to confront everything he fights for ruined”?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how we integrate theme and premise. Let’s have a round of applause.
*deafening applause*

@Rachelle I love it! Do it. Cliches aren’t cliches if they’re part of the theme and by extension necessary to the story.

@rachelle That sounds really neat, actually. I don’t really think cliches are a big problem, so long as you write well. My one thought is that it would be best if you could at least give some hint of the theme early on. Maybe the characters don’t have any clue about the theme, but you could show some of the government people talking about justice and such.

Thanks so much guys @Hope @Audrey-Caylin @Kayla-Joy!

@R-J-Wordsmith sure thing. How about… pencils? *eyes twinkle*

@graciegirl Yes! Linguine to Remmi. One of Pixar’s finest. Which is saying something, because Pixar’s pretty fine overall.

@daeus Well, I usually can’t remember the dates. But the year sounds right and the rest of it is correct. Ah, music… what a fantastic tool for learning! And with all the Edwards in European history, a song that tells you which one of them claimed to be King of France is helpful. They need a song like that for all the King Louis, too.

Thanks @warrioroftherealm! Maybe I shouldn’t try to learn First Aid from comedies. 😛 My character has another character with him at the moment of his shoulder dislocation, but I doubt she has any idea what to do… so I’ll have to do some research.
I have to say, I think it’s simultaneously fantastic and hilarious that there’s a community where…[Read more]

@gracie-girl Wow, that’s advanced. I once had a civilization where all the names ended in “iel,” but that got really boring really fast. I like the idea of name patterns for different races, though. That’s neat! But, maybe you just want to make those rules something for readers to figure out, rather than telling them. Unless it’s important to your…[Read more]

@his-instrument Edward III claimed to be king of France and began the hundred year’s war in…1347.

Is that right?

@christi-eaton Wow! You’re Cosette in a production of Les Mis? Is it a musical or a play?
@Daeus English King John signed the Magna Carta in 1215, limiting the king’s power. Later, England’s king… (finish the sentence) 🙂