Karina Sanchez

@Daeus humph. 😀

Yeah, well, I’d agree. Don’t have much to add.

@Daeus, thanks so much for critiquing it! 🙂

@gretald Ok, I finally got to this. I like it. You did a great job with improving the “showing” stuff.

Thanks for reading and critiquing it, @kate-flournoy! 🙂

Hey anybody, I’m off to write if you want to join me.

Yes @gretald, much better! 😀 I’m getting a lot more imagery this time around, not just a vague sense of what happened. Good work!

Ok, I jumped in. I’ll let you all know more about it when I’ve actually been on it a while.

Did my umbrella just break? Oh, no.

All right, @Daeus and @kate-flournoy. I’ve edited some. It’s still not quite done, but if you have time, would you mind reading it through? If you don’t have time, that’s perfectly fine.
@kate-flournoy, Is the showing vs. telling problem better? *looks hopeful*

The day of my thirteenth birthday I met my true love. I invited my entire…

[Read more]

All right, @Daeus and @kate-flournoy. I’ve edited some. It’s still not quite done, but if you have time, would you mind reading it through? If you don’t have time, that’s perfectly fine.
@kate-flournoy, Is the showing vs. telling problem better? *looks hopeful*

The day of my thirteenth birthday I met my true love. I invited my entire…

[Read more]

@Daeus oh! Now I get it— very clever. 😀

No, really.

My fault I didn’t get it at first. 😉 My head must be screwed on front-ways for once, making my brain very sluggish. *chuckles*

@Daeus oh! Now I get it— very clever. 😀

No, really.

My fault I didn’t get it. 😉 My head must be screwed on front-ways for once, making my brain very sluggish. *chuckles*

@kate-flournoy

dancing=cordination
blind=without thought
Ya ain’t got feet, you’re gonna trip and fall
So we use metres instead of feet (Brittish thing to do)
Meter=rythme – what you were talking about

Heh

Heh heh

humph

… yeah *groans*

@Daeus… what?

@Daeus what?

@kate-flournoy Quite neat. It’s like blind dancing, only without the feet.

We’re so Brittish we use meters instead.

I just realized we both switched meter in those last two verses… It’s neat how we do that without even realizing, isn’t it?

@Daeus

And then we have knightings,
And sparrings with words,
Though sometimes those sparrings
Grow rather absurd.

@bluejay get over here, we’re ruining your topic. 😀

@kate-flournoy

First we ate ice cream
Then cookies then candy
Now we eat mangos
Oh, boy! They are dandy