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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Hey, I’m up for anything…… as long as it’s not an abortion. If she aborts the baby in any way there will be problems because there is NO excuse EVER for that.
So, besides that, go ahead and do anything you like! ;D
Oh I didn’t even THINK of that…so don’t worry!!!!!!
I promise there will be no abortions…
I agree there i…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Chapter 8
Monster
What am I doing?
Frustration built up in Lilitu’s chest until he wanted to scream.
But he couldn’t scream….or else Adar would find him.
Cass isn’t going to come bail you out this time, he pressed his lips together in a thin line. You have to figure it out yourself.
He tried to find a comfort…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Ummmmmm
There’s more sad where that came from
heh…heh…
Okay, I’ll have Cassian say something XD it will probably trigger Lilitu’s temper though lol
Yeah…it is…
Don’t worry you guys, I’m not just being dark to be dark, there is a purpose behind it!!!! Just wait haha
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hybridlore replied to the topic Do You Use Fantasy Maps? in the forum Fantasy 3 months, 4 weeks ago
@theducktator
I skim it in the beginning and then normally don’t go back to it…Â Maybe once or twice, but not every time a place is mentioned. 😅 -
Sara replied to the topic Do You Use Fantasy Maps? in the forum Fantasy 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
@ellette-giselle @anyone-else
Next chapter…be warned…this one is a little *coughs* sad…and dark and it deals with a really sad reality in our world. So continue reading at your own risk.
Chapter 8
Sticks and Stones
Sef cowered before the large man, blinking back tears.
She wanted to scream with frustration. She had been late again!
She…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Yeah, I was wondering if that was the case! Glad I was able to help!!! 😊
Yes! I love how easy it is to share chapters!
Yeah it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use it, but after over a year of using it I have never ever wanted to go back!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
This is the language we came up with…kind of:
All the consonants you gave:
t l n m r k s p sh b f v z d j g w th
Vowels:
let’s just say it’s English vowels for now.
These are the “swears” we came up with:
Scist (Scisto)Dissar (Dissaros)
And idk what else…XD
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Okay, Tlavian it is! XD why are you so good at this!?!?!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
I actually do show a scene of the kids working in the next chapter, and then a couple chapters after that…just wait XD
Okay, good ideas!
I just don’t know how to reveal it all…because those ideas sound so good but when I try to do stuff like that it feels either rushed or too slow 😭😭😭 I’ll figure it out somehow lol
And…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Thank you sooo much, do you have any thoughts/ comments??? I’d love to hear them!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Okay great!!!
I guess some of both? Like what the Andromedans would call Him, as well as new names for what the humans could call Him?
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Sara replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Thank you soooo much!!! <3
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hybridlore replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Great chapters! I love the way you described this
worry striking a searing flame in the pit of her stomach.
And I love Cassian and Lilitu’s relationship. 🥰
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hybridlore replied to the topic Character Sketches in the forum Art 3 months, 4 weeks ago
@ellette-giselle
Wow, it looks great!! Thank you so much!!! -
Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
@anyone-who-wishes-to-read
Chapter 7
Rage
Pain.
A distant, ever present throbbing at the base of Lilitu’s neck.
On your feet, he warned himself, or you’re dead. He put his weight on his bad foot and screamed in agony before he could stifle it.
Blue blood oozed from his numerous cuts, the edges searing like fire.
Lilitu scrambled back to…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
you want an em dash instead of a hyphen
Noted. Thank you!!!
Maybe this will be explained at some point, but it isn’t clear why the Paynes being moved to this new district would mean she doesn’t see them anymore, did they just move to completely different areas?
She doesn’t see them anymore because both she and them are always working, the…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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