@ellette-giselle
Active 10 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1105
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@linus-smallprint @keilah-h @theshadow
And here is part two of what I posted today.
Aaron had just finished leading a time of prayer in the Great Hall, when there was a disturbance at the door. Several people in the room shifted, and Aaron looked about, trying to find the source of the disruption.
All at once, people scrambled back from the…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months ago
@linus-smallprint @keilah-h @theshadow
Ok, I started braking this one into a few more sections because it flowed better. Here are two, and I’m going to work on the rest.
Days passed, and every night the enemy tried to terrorize those who stood on the walls, chanting war songs, battle cries, or threats, launching stones or flaming projectiles…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Oh man. What did I say. Come on Alan, get some sense in your silly head!
My only complaint in this one would be A.) You used “whipped” instead of “wiped” (a mistake I myself often make which is why I caught it, lol) and then the Do not, would not, will not, etc. Like I’ve said before, it doesn’t fit with the style of the…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
I also like to see the variety of personalities in different characters as they become Christians.
YES! Flat characters are no fun.
Prediction: Something dangerous is just around the corner.
What would ever make you say that……………?
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Phew! That’s a lot about horses. I think I will grab everything you said about them and save it in a document for future reference. In case you could not tell, Martha likes horses and would definitely know all of this, so in order to have her talk about it, I will need to know it. Thank you for typing this all out!
You’re w…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Ok, i finished reading everything you have written and here are my notes.
Chapter 6
Roof, the poor kid has someone aiming a crossbow at him all day? That won’t make him nervous by any means. Oh no, he’ll be cool as cucumbers. 🙄
I KNEW the crow was the spy. I am sure of it now! Creepy.
Oh man, Phil is the oldest of my bro…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
wow. It actually went though! Good grief!
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@keilah-h @Anyone_who_joins_this_late_and_doesn’t_want_to_sift
Ok, let’s see if this will send…………
The Flames of Hope Trilogy
Book 1
Let There Be Light
And God said,
“Let there be light,”
and there was light…
~Genesis 1:3
Long ago there was a small kingdom called Ardenta. It was a beautiful land,…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Oh, I hadn’t even thought of that. Yes, let me see…….. what if I post everything that I have shared on here in one long message? I work with LibreOffice which is outdated and for old computers like the one I use. I think this would be easiest.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Sure thing! I’ll put the link here, and you can skim through the chapters to catch up a little.
WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
why would you get a lot of flak?
Well, let’s just say my beliefs are not popular around my peers. You’d be surprised how mean both guys and girls can be when they disagree on stuff like this. I’ve gotten to the place where I know I’ve just gotta speak the truth in love and brace for the return fire…. which often times is more full of…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
@linus-smallprint @theshadow @whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009(I’ll tag you in case you still want to keep reading this)
Ok, here is the next part. It’s pretty short, but i have some edits to run on the part after, which is very long.
It took some time for the crowd to disperse. Only one child had believed, but Aaron was far from discouraged.…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Ok, I’ll go for it. Thank you for the encouragement. Give me a second to get another scene.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
So I guess what really would be the case is that their instincts act up when they think they are in danger. If they feel more secure, they are able to control themselves more, even if they really are in more danger.
Ah, I see.
Okay. I hope you are able to deal with that mould and that your 18th birthday goes well. Happy early…
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
ah, I’m glad we’re on the same page. I was afraid I was going to get a lot of flack. lol. Tell your brother great job for standing up for something like that in an unpopular time. (You too, as long as he and I are both satisfied by the end. lol.)
Oooo, I love the drawings! They do look a little wingfeatherish. They’re quite…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
ah, I’m glad we’re on the same page. I was afraid I was going to get a lot of flack. lol. Tell your brother great job for standing up for something like that in an unpopular time. (You too, as long as he and I are both satisfied by the end. lol.)
Oooo, I love the drawings! They do look a little wingfeatherish. They’re quite…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 months, 1 week ago
Well, it’s not like I won’t read them or y’all are evil for writing them. I just don’t believe it’s right. That’s not to say that women need to be pussy cats or wilting violets, but there is a TONE out there for them to do besides killing each other in battle. Leave the fighting to the men. I am not against Women dispatchers, women…[Read more]
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months, 1 week ago
*sobbing*
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic Art Challenge! in the forum Art 2 months, 1 week ago
Or how about we find someone to fix the problem…….. lol.
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Ellette Giselle replied to the topic WIP: Let There Be Light, Book 1 of The Flames of Hope Trilogy in the forum Novel Idea Critiques 2 months, 1 week ago
Interesting. My line of thinking was that the Bible says A.) the world will see us as fools and the gospel will sound foolish to them, and B.) Christ said to let the children come to him, for of such is the kingdom of heaven, and unless we believe like children we will not enter.
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