Ellette Giselle

@theshadow

Ok, my essential thoughts: this is a dark world. I mean man, it’s dark, depraved, sick, evil, black, and desperate. it is ONLY because of God that there is any hope at all. I tend to write about a lot of dark stuff, i.e. persecution of the Christians in the roman times, child brainwashing in dystopian era, outlawing of Christianity,…[Read more]

Aaand chapter ten. Now i gotta go! Enjoy!

 
Chapter 10
“God take my life
I offer myself to you now
And I shall everyday
Cherish your name

God, you use my hands
To help the people
And you use my feet
So that I may bring your words
God, you use my voice
So that I may praise you all the time
And you use my mouth
So that I may tell your words

You…[Read more]

@theshadow

Note: There is no description in this one of the courtyard because the description would be in the chapter before.

 
Chapter 9
Julius pulled his cloak closer. It was nearing the end of summer, and the night air had a decided chill. It would be curfew soon, and Julius would have to hurry. He slipped through the gate and began his…[Read more]

@theshadow

The last scene was sooo cute, I liked it a lot! Also Julius’ internal dialogue and conflict was good.

I’m so glad. I pride myself with pulling off good wedding scenes. Good! I’m glad Julius’ internal struggle was good!

Ignatius, if you lay a finger on Marcus, it’s not ending well for you!

are you threatening my character? Isn’t Ign…[Read more]

Goodness! Cloaked Mystery is ON IT! It helps that there is more background to work off of knowing the other version of the story, but man! This is like professional editing! AWESOME JOB!

@theshadow

so, besides that, how was the chapter?

@trailblazer

Also, here’s the part you were jumping ahead on Trailblazer. Great minds think alike in the writing world I guess. lol.

@theshadow Note: Flavia is under developed as we discussed, and I plan on adding more about her in chapter 7

 
Chapter 8
Julius leaned his shoulder against the side of the window. He stared out into the garden below, thinking of all the days he and Marcus had spent there. They had grown up together, and had been friends from the day they met. The…[Read more]

@theshadow

Ack, I thought you would say that. I’ve been thinking also of a way to develop a bit more with her. I’m kinda distracted with the other stuff going on and thought I would drop it for now and come back. after all, this is my very rough draft. But yes, she is under developed.

@trailblazer

And lastly, this is just an idea that popped…

[Read more]

@rae

I’ll be praying!!! Man, you are in serious trouble…. try some chocolate.

@theshadow

Yes, please send them on the WIP!!! I can’t wait!! I’m so glad you liked it!

@theshadow

no edits or critiques for that one?

@theshadow

You have no idea how happy that makes me to know that someone is looking forward to reading more of the story!!!

Ok y’all, next chapter!!!

 
Chapter 7
 

Marcus walked with slow steps back toward the City of the Dead. He had known that something like this could happen, but he had hoped beyond hope that it wouldn’t. Part of him had even believed that Julius would listen, see the error of their old ways, and readily join him. The two of them could have done s…[Read more]

@theshadow

Well, now he’s happy. I mean VERY happy. You’ll see why……..

I’m posting the chapter right now.

@theshadow

yup. editing is going well, but I had to stop and go back to writing because Marcus was sad that he was being ignored. lol.

@rae

Ok, here’s my picture. I forgot I hadn’t posted it until I noticed it on my desktop. lol.

Hope I got close to what you were envisioning. I don’t have a scanner so it’s a photo. sorry about the bad quality.

@theshadow

Oh I’m so glad you like it!!!!! No it didn’t come off as rude, I just thought maybe there was a reason, like you had critiques you needed time to think through or something. I also pulled off a little because…. I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was monopolizing their time. I have been told I have a gift for…[Read more]

@theshadow

Yes, should I not?

I went back and did a bunch of the edits y’all suggested and then I’m working on the next chapter. I want the book to be on the shorter side this time, but i’m trying to not rush things.

@rae

Wow! That’s even more daring then me! lol.

I’ve been writing since five and didn’t even think to take a look on here cause I didn’t think anyone was awake.

I’ll have to leave around noon, but I’ll be writing straight through, no brakes, until then.