Hannah Whatley

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ooooh, I love it! Very nice. It could almost be a poem if you rearranged it. 😀

One thing— plot hole alert. If the Warden created the gene, how old is he for there to be really, really old people in the prison? Or were they not inheritors of the gene, but the first experiments?

@Emily-D wow… what an enormous question. 😛

Lemme take a stab at answering it coherently. First step, I would say, is figuring out the contradictions of your character.
For instance, everyone has something that they want. For the sake of conversation, let’s say I want pie. But then, everyone also has something that they need— and most of…[Read more]

@winter-rost A name? That…is something I really need to work on. 😉

I had a lot of distractions, but I managed to edit 394 words, so, hey! Better than nothing.

(@winter-rose I’m editing my time travel story, and I don’t listen to music while a write unfortunately.)

@dragon-snapper @winter-rose @that_writer_girl_99 I’m here.

@dragon-snapper I might have been called King Daeus once, but I can’t remember clearly. I know we called Josiah The Wiser a couple times. 😉

@emma-flournoy *bows low, stroking cliché mustache* Much appreciated.

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

I was planning to write right about now, but then this came up, and, well…I’m not disappointed I stopped to read. May the clichés never end!

😀 *licks icecream*

@lifeofkatie

Ok, my top recommendations are these:

The Count of Monte Cristo — my all time favorite novel. It’s huge, but well worth every page. It’s historical fiction and high drama.

Cry The Beloved Country — The best explicitly Christian novel I’ve ever read. It’s very deep and very moving. It’s got heart for sure.

A Tale of Two Cities –…[Read more]

Thoughts:

The imagery here is good.

First line: wakes works better than awakes.

“No longer free does flow” doesn’t flow well off the tongue.

“the earth had”: “the earth was” works better, I think.

“To warmer weather flee”: Took me a moment to figure out what that meant.

“through flowers flit”: I love the sound of that 🙂

The rythm wasn’t…[Read more]

@Anne-of-Lothlorien the first is beautiful and the second hilarious. XD

@Anne-of-Lothlorien what @Daeus said. 😛

@AnneofLothlorien what @Daeus said. 😛

@Anne-of-Lothlorien I don’t see anything to pick at, but there’s not much more than externals here. Here are my questions to get to the heart of the story.

1. What’s the girl’s inner longing? e.g. she wants her parents to be reunited.
2. What’s the girl’s story goal? e.g. get back to her parents. (it’s best if her longing and goal can be closely…[Read more]

Yes, that would work…if you think all the information would fit. I think it’s important to have reminders of why we like KP so much on it, so maybe it could be slightly bigger than a business card but slightly smaller than a postcard. Maybe we need to see what needs to be written on it, then we can see how big it ought to be?

I really like the…[Read more]

Hmm. Somebody added me to their facebook group. That might be neat to attend. We’ll see.

@his-instrument Cool! I shall have to check these out.

(@aratrea You’ll have to add these to your list of potential partners.)

Signing off. I edited half a chapter.

@That_Writer_Girl_99 in general. I know I sort of left you hanging in the middle of a brainstorming session, and we were going to do that character exercise thing too, and I still want to do that. I just wanted to let you know I hadn’t disappeared off the face of the earth. ;P