Danae C

@Catwing *cheers* That’s super!

@Catwing Yay! That’s great. I’m a few pages away from finishing my chapter…

Farewell @Dragon-snapper! 😀 *salutes*

*cooks a few more pizzas so there’s more to go around EVERYONE* xP

@xonos-darkgrate This sounds intriguing! And those names are pretty good, except the twins’ names are very similar. That’s probably what you’re going for, of course, but personally I like it when twins don’t have similar names, it makes them seem more individual. But it’s up to you!

And while I don’t really have a problem with making fantasy…[Read more]

*sets out a plate of pizza to share*

@Catwing
I have been summoned. I come.
I’ve got one chapter left to critique so I’ll join you!

@seekjustice @jess-penrose @jane-maree *feels really pleased my suggestions were so helpful* 😉 😛

@catwing Ultimately it’s up to you to decide. And based on all the versions I’ve read, each one giving a little more about the story than before, yet still keeping it a mystery, I’d love to read this book as well. 😀

@Catwing well I was away last night and this morning, so I failed to see this until just now, sorry. xD Looks like you’ve have lots of great advice though. 😀
I second what Louise said–her rewritten synopsis of suggestions is basically what I would’ve said myself. 😛

@catwing I think I like the second one better, but with a few tweaks (all suggestions of course 😉 ).

Alex is not normal. She talks with her wolves. And understands them.
Then she and her friends meet a mysterious cloaked messenger, who gives them a riddle from a long dead tyrant. They must save Allore by finding three jewels, and giving them to…[Read more]

@seekjustice You made sense. 😉 And yes, I agree. But not knowing who the main character(s) is/are (or if they’re all main characters), I didn’t comment on it.

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read…[Read more]

Farewell @Aislinn-mollisong

@Catwing okay, see you!! *salutes*

@catwing I did a little editing. The first is your original, and the second is my edit version. Your version is a bit wordy and passive, with rather long sentences. Shorter sentence portrays tension and danger. Hope it helps. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious…[Read more]

I think everyone makes great points about Luke as a character. And @salome01w4g I also like Han Solo.

@Dragon-Snapper Okay byeee. See you in the future. 😀

@Emma-Flournoy @Mariposa Thanks! And yess, I picked the name Rosso because of her hair. 😛

Byeee @DaughteroftheKing!

@Kate-Flournoy thanks! They’re pretty fun characters as far as I’ve brainstormed of them at this stage.

@Catwing Aw thank you. ^-^ The girl (Megan) is actually a ninja, and Dylan doesn’t have powers either. It’s a superhero story…but the two main characters aren’t actually superheroes. It’s still in the brainstorming stage currently, and I’ve…[Read more]