Christine Eaton

@daeus
Whoops! I was thinking of it as Matthew taking on the character Edwin Brook like Matthew fighting him or something. 🙂 LOL Now that you rewrote it, it does make sense. Nice work. I like the new and improved version. 😉 🙂 😉

@Daeus yes, I love it. I obviously know the story, which may or may not mess up my perspective, but it’s strong to me and makes me want to pick it up and read it… lots of questions.

@Daeus yes! Much better. The only thing that’s a little off is this sentence:

Setting out to find new strength, he plummets into struggles for survival, desperate plots, uncertainties, and the vague shadow surrounding his destiny from a dying mentor’s vision.

I think it’s just the ‘into struggles for survival’ part— maybe I’m being picky, b…[Read more]

@Daues yes! Much better. The only thing that’s a little off is this sentence:

Setting out to find new strength, he plummets into struggles for survival, desperate plots, uncertainties, and the vague shadow surrounding his destiny from a dying mentor’s vision.

I think it’s just the ‘into struggles for survival’ part— maybe I’m being picky, b…[Read more]

@Daeus
I like the changes you made regarding the sentence structure that @kate-flournoy mentioned. Nice job. One other thing I noticed.

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook. His wealth and power make his success almost certain, but strange events keep thwarting his every move.

I think…[Read more]

@perfectfifths
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@perfect-fifths Moody teenager indeed.
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

Mmmm… yes. I like this. Not really much to attack… the one thing that jumped out at me as needing some work was you used this sentence structure:

Something something something, some resulting something something something result.

a lot. With the comma after the first few set-up words, then a tacked-on resulting thought. There’s nothing…[Read more]

Ohhhhhh… yikes. Well. Yes. That would definitely put a damper on your chances of attendance. 😛

@PerfectFifths

@Daeus actually I have to go. Good luck.

Well, you never asked. 😛 I actually have to go to bed at ten so it’s more like 9:45, but close enough. Company is welcome.

Here you are. Though this was for this years.

@Daeus I actually usually go till ten… 😛 But not tonight. I’ll be with you as far as nine, then I’m stopping cuz my dad and brother are coming home from a hunting trip and that’s when they’re supposed to get here.

🙁 That’s too bad. Where do you live again?

Yes @PerfectFifths— Indiana, for this one.

@Leumeister They’re polar opposites. 😀