Catwing

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read…[Read more]

@Catwing okay, see you!! *salutes*

@catwing I did a little editing. The first is your original, and the second is my edit version. Your version is a bit wordy and passive, with rather long sentences. Shorter sentence portrays tension and danger. Hope it helps. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious…[Read more]

Cool, @catwing! Hmmm…I think maybe you could either put another sentence at the end, or change that last sentence a little bit. It sounds sort of awkward (to me at least) when you say it out loud. Other than that, IT REALLY MAKES ME WANT TO READ IT!!!! Please finish it soon and publish it and let me read it!!!!

@catwing @jane-maree I’m signing out now. I wrote 1085 and edited almost a chapter. Byeee!!!
*and then I shall makes some collages. Yessss..*

@catwing Ew. Please cough. Just cough. Be human just this once.

@catwing *hands you cough medicine*

@catwing Yessssssss.

@catwing That sounds like fun! I really want to incorporate an underwater city into my WIP. Or perhaps a submersible… or maybe a submersible so big it’s practically a city in itself… or perhaps all three… *much brainstorming*
@dragon-snapper *looks concerned and takes a large step back* I wish I could come up with an interesting villain for…[Read more]

@Kate-Flournoy thanks! They’re pretty fun characters as far as I’ve brainstormed of them at this stage.

@Catwing Aw thank you. ^-^ The girl (Megan) is actually a ninja, and Dylan doesn’t have powers either. It’s a superhero story…but the two main characters aren’t actually superheroes. It’s still in the brainstorming stage currently, and I’ve…[Read more]

@catwing I am writing a scene which launches everything exciting about this novel! Villains with character arcs! Ah ha! Ah ha!

@jane-maree Going pretty good. The writing is interesting. It’s…first draft.

@Catwing (sorry, I didn’t see yours before) I’m working on the second book in my dystopian trilogy. Agent Kit. 🙂

@catwing Working on the fantasy races for my quirky fantasy world. It’s fun!

@catwing That’s exciting!!
@jane-maree Hiya! *is inspired and pulls pizza out of her pocket to munch* (Why do I have pizza in my pocket?? I didn’t put that there.) *puzzled munching*

@daughteroftheking *bounces back and falls over as the unexpected daughteroftheking enters* Wow! Hi!
@catwing *cocks head* Chili? *nose twitches* Chili. *polite smile*

@catwing Greetings! Ooo, now I’m hungry…

@catwing Very well. Tag me when you return from the land of dinner. Whatcha eating?

@catwing Are you still on?

@catwing we were working on a HF story but were done now and I need to go eat dinner (Thanks for the chocolate!!!!) 🙂 😉

@catwing my friend says: *happy dance*