Ariel Ashira

@valtmy

I know, I seem to have worked myself into a tight genre spot. I can’t really think what I could market it as though. It doesn’t really fit anyway.

Oh well, I’ll see how it turns out after the third draft.

@seekjustice

Haha no pressure. As I said, I have no right to torment others so long as I am tormenting them with my slowness with QOD.

Right. It goes back to what (I think) I said before about whether you really want to market your book as a dystopic novel (though you can certainly set your story in a dystopic setting) because the term brings…[Read more]

@valtmy

I know. But I’m so easily distracted! And yes, I know you want to read Wattle Fire 😀

oh, and I liked what you said about the worldbuilding. That actually makes a lot of sense, because I’m not entirely sure why I find the worldbuilding for SFI so difficult, since I’ve found the worldbuilding for Wattle Fire, which has a lot more intense…[Read more]

@seekjustice

Ah, I thought that may have been the case. Guess it fits with the rest of the backstory.

But I suppose you’ll be working on NaNo instead of SFI now. 😛

@valtmy @rochellaine

Maybe I just like letters? I write a lot in real life.

I’ll have to think over all the stuff you’ve said, but I did just want to point out that he does move from the Capital to his current house. He grew up in the Capital and that’s where his business was. He moved to his cool garden after the financial crisis.

@jenwriter17 Okay.
Yeah. I can’t be on that late cause church tomorrow. 🙂

@catwing I can’t come on right now, but I’ll be here Monday. 🙂

@rochellaine

Haha stupid fugitive characters right?

I suppose a way to justify it would be to have the government ban/restrict people from going abroad. So going to another country would be just very risky. He would definitely be flagged out and arrested during the border checks.

And maybe he did relocate to another city (where the Verde family…[Read more]

@seekjustice @rochellaine @jenwriter17 @alia @dekreel @valtmy @ariel-ashira I’m here writing. 🙂

@valtmy I see.  Yes, regarding worldbuilding that makes sense.

Well, in that case I think Jean would be stupid to be living still in the same city instead of relocating to another city or country.  The world is huge, and he can go anywhere he wants to, as he has a lot of money (I think that was established, right?) so why would he stay right t…[Read more]

@rochellaine

Oh, and regarding the Sapphire and Caderousse interaction thing… It does not make sense for her to be on the lookout for some pretense to arrest Jean. In this Fugitive!Jean situation, she should already think that Jean is guilty of some crime and she would be going straight to arrest him once she’s found him. No pretense necessary.…[Read more]

@rochellaine

I agree a letter would be the most appropriate form of communication in that situation. It’s not about that. It’s that letters appear to be the only form of communication available in this supposedly futuristic society. Even when people are talking about safe, non-revolutionary stuff (which granted, the characters don’t often do but…[Read more]

@seekjustice Oh, and I don’t mean that Caderousse herself is necessarily a spy per se.  Just that she seems to be acting like one in the hypothetical you proposed.  If she’s targeting one particular person for one particular reason, rather than crime in general, she’d likely have some sort of spy system looking out specifically for what Jean is d…[Read more]

@seekjustice

My first thought on reading your question was on how that would impact the original confrontation between Caderousse and Sapphire.  If Caderousse had been observing and examining the Verde family for years in attempt to find a pretense to arrest Jean, (or something similar, I’m not sure exactly what you’re intending here, but the…[Read more]

@seekjustice

Oh, speaking of the odd lifestyle of the Verde family, it randomly occurred to me why you might be struggling with wordbuilding more compared to other dystopian writers.

Most dystopias use an average Joe type of character as a POV to show how life is like for an average person in the dystopian society. But since your POV characters…[Read more]

@seekjustice

Re Sapphire’s mother: If Jean is a fugitive, I do think that the circumstances of her leaving her husband should be different and not so simple. But hey, if all else fails you can always just say that she is dead and thus won’t be complicating the issue to increase your parent body count. 😛

I’m still amused by how dependent this…[Read more]

#1

Yes, I’d thought about some of those consequences but I hadn’t actually thought about Sapphire’s mother. I really should do something with her…she kind of only existed to explain why Sapphire and Chessy had no mother. And I’ve been thinking about the details of the ID system, but that’s a conversation for another time.

#2 That’s true. I…[Read more]

@seekjustice

You’re probably asleep now so I’ll just post my response here for you to see later.

Yes, there’s something really off about the notifications for some reason.

Oh wow the thought that there’s someone out there who is eagerly waiting for the next part of QOD is really terrifying. 😛

Anyway, regarding your idea for Jean’s…[Read more]

@valtmy

For some reason I never got notified that you’d replied 😀

I know, I’m so easily distracted! (and yes, I’m waiting eagerly for the next part!)

most of them, a few pulled out, but I have several thousand (getting close to 15-20k) words  worth of feedback, so I have enough to go on.

I was considering talking to @rochellaine about it…[Read more]

@seekjustice

Oh no! At this rate, I won’t be able to read Wattle Fire for a long while!

But I suppose I have no right to complain, considering my own progress with QOD. 😛

But what problems are you pondering? I am curious to know. You got feedback from all your betas already right?