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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
I think I’m going to keep it the same for now, and then change it if I feel like it XD
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
you need people to believe in you, even if you can’t sometimes. I have low self-esteem sometimes and I need my mom to put me back on track. If we tell ourselves we are worth nothing, that’s going to have mental consequences later down the road.
Yes yes yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!
As someone who completely relates to Sef…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
@anyone
Chapter 11
Wolves
“Sef?”
Sef looked up from sweeping the floor, and saw Neveah standing in the doorway.
“What is it?”
“We’re forgetting something,” Neveah smiled wryly.
“Forgetting something?” Sef repeated, confused.
“Yes. We’re forgetting to think of names for the child.”
A knot of anger grew in Sef’s stomach.
“We’re going to…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
This phrasing sounds a bit awkward.
I’m cringing…
WHYYY
apparently I didn’t edit it as well as I thought…
Ooops yeah I’ll fix that.
That’s a lot of “that”s.
NOOOO I’M CRINGING AGAIN
what was I thinking?!? I just committed a crime…to use the same word three times in a sentence…how could I?!?!
By this point, you’ve managed to conv…
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Thanks that makes me feel a little better!
And I know it’s weird that I’m only 14 and are writing about this kind of stuff…
And what’s even more strange is that I was never ever exposed to violence or horror movies or bad books as a young child. So at eight years old when I started writing about slavery and…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Y’all…I have to hurry up and post the next chapters so you don’t think I’m just a psychopath teenager…
heh..heh…
Chapter 9
Strange Magic
Lilitu stood at the edge of Farnbron Brook, trying—and failing— not to gag.
The smell was especially bad tonight.
It was always worse during the warmer months, and now it was the middle of sum…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
If you don’t mind me asking, are you over 16??
Ummmmmm
…
…
…
I’m 14 and don’t turn 15 until September…
…
I hope I’m correct in assuming that the book will be 16+ as well because oof……that may be the darkest thing I’ve ever seen on this site……
I don’t think I’m going to have it be 16+, more like 14+ since that’s how ol…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Anyone who wants to follow me on pinterest click this link (I have a private account so the only people that follow me or can message me have to click the link)
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Hey, I’m up for anything…… as long as it’s not an abortion. If she aborts the baby in any way there will be problems because there is NO excuse EVER for that.
So, besides that, go ahead and do anything you like! ;D
Oh I didn’t even THINK of that…so don’t worry!!!!!!
I promise there will be no abortions…
I agree there i…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Chapter 8
Monster
What am I doing?
Frustration built up in Lilitu’s chest until he wanted to scream.
But he couldn’t scream….or else Adar would find him.
Cass isn’t going to come bail you out this time, he pressed his lips together in a thin line. You have to figure it out yourself.
He tried to find a comfort…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 3 weeks ago
Ummmmmm
There’s more sad where that came from
heh…heh…
Okay, I’ll have Cassian say something XD it will probably trigger Lilitu’s temper though lol
Yeah…it is…
Don’t worry you guys, I’m not just being dark to be dark, there is a purpose behind it!!!! Just wait haha
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Sara replied to the topic Do You Use Fantasy Maps? in the forum Fantasy 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
@ellette-giselle @anyone-else
Next chapter…be warned…this one is a little *coughs* sad…and dark and it deals with a really sad reality in our world. So continue reading at your own risk.
Chapter 8
Sticks and Stones
Sef cowered before the large man, blinking back tears.
She wanted to scream with frustration. She had been late again!
She…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Yeah, I was wondering if that was the case! Glad I was able to help!!! 😊
Yes! I love how easy it is to share chapters!
Yeah it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use it, but after over a year of using it I have never ever wanted to go back!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
This is the language we came up with…kind of:
All the consonants you gave:
t l n m r k s p sh b f v z d j g w th
Vowels:
let’s just say it’s English vowels for now.
These are the “swears” we came up with:
Scist (Scisto)Dissar (Dissaros)
And idk what else…XD
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Okay, Tlavian it is! XD why are you so good at this!?!?!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
I actually do show a scene of the kids working in the next chapter, and then a couple chapters after that…just wait XD
Okay, good ideas!
I just don’t know how to reveal it all…because those ideas sound so good but when I try to do stuff like that it feels either rushed or too slow 😭😭😭 I’ll figure it out somehow lol
And…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Thank you sooo much, do you have any thoughts/ comments??? I’d love to hear them!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 3 months, 4 weeks ago
Okay great!!!
I guess some of both? Like what the Andromedans would call Him, as well as new names for what the humans could call Him?
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