Anika123

@anika123

You’re welcome!  And congrats!

@anika123

Hey there!  So, my Chromebook isn’t fully cooperating with me, so I’ll just post my critique here so you can copy and paste it into a folder of your choosing!  (Hope this works okay instead?)

So first off!  I love your imagination.  You have an interesting premise for your story.  I like how you use clear description, and Bumb…[Read more]

@anika123

Alright, thanks!  I’ll use the link on the previous page, if that’s alright?

@anika123

Hi there, I’m Lily and I also write middle-grad fantasy!  Do you still want feedback on your story?  I’d love to read through it.  🙂

Ps.  I’d be happy to use the link to your document, instead of email.  🙂

@anika123

I’ll have to check it out then!:)

@anika123

It works now. Thanks. 🙂

I read to the end of what you’ve written and I’m greatly enjoying it!
The changes you made improved it greatly. It is flowing nicely. I can’t say there’s anything at this point I noticed that needs changes. 😁

@anika123

Hello Anika! I am a little late in welcoming you to Kingdom Pen, but anyway… welcome! 😀 I’m Abigail btw:) A middle-grade fantasy novel? That sounds awesome!
Once again, welcome and it’s amazing to have you here at KP!:D

@anika123

I will read it once I’ve got the time and get back to you. 🙂

@anika123

It looks really good! I’m so glad to see that the format is easier to read and the grammar mistakes have been fixed. Specific advice; I would suggest that when the mom says her first line, you wrote ‘she said’ instead ‘she groaned.’ Sometimes simplicity is your best friend! 🙂

@anika123

So I also read your chapters you posted, and I find the plot very intriguing!! It’s well made as far as the actual story, I found it exciting and curiosity invoking!

for improving the sentence structure, I would say to add more motion to the characters, wide eyes can be used for surprise or fear, and raised eyebrow for skepticism, gasp…[Read more]

@anika123

Hey, Anika! I was actually just listening to your podcast when I saw this, it’s really interesting. 😀

1. I think one of the best ways to make dialogue less choppy is by developing your characters’ individual voices. Consider character ages, personalities, ethnicities, religions, etc. All of these factors contribute to character voice.…[Read more]

@anika123

The way that they are talking almost sounds stiff like they’re in a formal business sort of a setting, not two good friends talking to each other in an informal setting.

@iluvhim18 Sorry Evilyn, I initially sent the first one to the wrong address. 😆

@anika123  Hi!

I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dial…[Read more]

@anika123 Awesome! I’ll be sure to look at that =)

@anika123

Alright. If you like you can copy/paste these right into the Doc.

@anika123

I would, but I noticed that when I try to comment it includes my email address, once I’m able to sign out of my Google account I’ll comment it in the Doc.

@anika123

I’m on page 4 so far and I love the story! I do, however, have a couple of concerns. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed, I suggest those first. And I also suggest giving the characters’ individual voices. I can’t tell the difference between who’s speaking, thankfully this is an easy fix by developing tone…[Read more]

@anika123

I’d love to be a beta reader and provide feedback for you! I’m not sure if I’d be the best person because I don’t have anything published myself yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day and have been writing for years.

I don’t share my email because it not only includes my full name but also my town/school name, and I’m not…[Read more]

@anika123 Me? I’m old…I can handle some mature stuff. I like crime, mainly. But also sad stories.