Hannah

…”Uh,” I pause, trying to remember any “ideas” I might have had before I passed out. The funny thing is, I’ve never met these people before in my life. How could they possibly know who I am?
The red-headed man glares at me again and waits expectantly for me to speak. When I say nothing, he growls, “Tell us about your idea to save the world.…[Read more]

Well @overcomer, @spradlin posted one of her poems here for critique, and later submitted it to KP right here.

She’s the secretary— she would know the rules. So as far as I can tell, it’s perfectly fine! 😀

Wow, thanks @overcomer! So glad you liked it! And guess what, I’d already replaced ‘the bow is not bent’ with ‘the bowstring is snapped’ long before you even suggested it. Well, you know what they say about great minds… 😉 😉 😉

Here, I’ll post the completely revised version and see if I caught everything— I do like the rhythmic flow, but…[Read more]

It looks cool, @daeus . Now, if only I can write a story short enough . . .

Sweet! @kate-flournoy I totally enjoyed this! It felt like an introduction or ballad from a novel, and a very exciting one too. I must say, I expected something cliche, but was surprised as I read to find that it never went there. A little corny, yes, but done right, if you know what I mean.

I agree with @hope that you should work on “The…[Read more]

Er… well… what’s the poem about? 😛

*goes slowly green in face* Uh… on second thought… I’ll admire it from a distance @Daeus! 😛

Well glad the topic was timely, @belegteleri! (Still can’t write that tag without smiling 😉 )

This is all to say that subtlety is the key to a strong character.

@Daeus— can I just frame that, and put it on my wall? 😀

@Ivy-Rose @zoe-wingfeather @writefury @faithdk @Daeus good thoughts, everyone!

I think, Ivy, that action hooks can certainly work, but I tend to be careful using them because if you slam your reader with immediate action they don’t really care, because they don’t care about the character, because they don’t KNOW the character. Get me?

Also, I…[Read more]

@Ivy-Rose @zoe-wingfeather @writefury @faithdk @Daeus good thoughts, everyone!

I think, Ivy, that action hooks can certainly work, but I tend to be careful using them because if you slam your reader with immediate action they don’t really care, because they don’t care about the character, because they don’t KNOW the character. Get me?

Also, I…[Read more]

YES! Love opening hooks! 😀
This is one of my favorite ones I’ve done:
“My wormhole experiment took a little bit to actually start working. Which was great that it worked at all, but the thing was that it started right in the middle of class.”
*sigh* I need to write more on that… someday.
Also, there’s a kids’ book one that I love:
*plain, white…[Read more]

Ooo, I like it @zoe-wingfeather! Like other people noted, I would watch out for info-dumping. For example, the writing in bold below, to me is a bit info-dump-ey…I struggle with the same thing, by the way. 🙂

I sigh. Work is so boring. I’m a secretary for a big computer company, and pretty much all I do all day is file papers.

The story is r…[Read more]

I awoke to the sound of tapping for the fifth night in a row. At first I thought it was outside… but then I realized it was coming from the mirror again. Now, I’m tough, but hey, when your mirror taps, that is creepy, especially in the dead of night. And the fact that I had just read Snow White. I reached out a shaking hand and flicked on my b…[Read more]

I awoke to the sound of tapping for the fifth night in a row. At first I thought it was outside… but then I realized it was coming from the mirror again. Now, I’m tough, but hey, when your mirror taps, that is creepy, especially in the dead of night. And the fact that I had just read Snow White. I reached a shaking hand out and flicked on my b…[Read more]

Yet another long corridor. This is crazy. What does this house look like from the outside? I have absolutely no idea what to do. Maybe I’d try a different door. Trying the next door in line I found it to be like the room in which I had awoken. The sheets were messed up, so I figured people must be somewhere close by. And then I found them. Behind…[Read more]