AveryTheExplodey

@theshadow

This chapter does a good job building up the suspense! The only thing I would say is yeah, Ellette has a point. These girls seem to be so mean for no real reason that I can guess at yet. It makes them feel flatter, rather than like actual people who have motives and stuff for their actions. Their ultimate goal, especially in a…[Read more]

@jonas

Wow. I love this idea. This sounds super interesting. Is it connected to your current series?

@ellette-giselle

Aw, that’s okay! If you know of a different way to get it through, I’m open to trying other things, but I understand if it’s too difficult for you to do right now.

Some things I’d really like to hear from y’all are scene ideas. I’m planning to go back and extend a lot of the earlier chapters (at least 1-6) because I didn’t have the same word count goal for them as I do now. So if you have any ideas for scenes that would fit into those (or future scenes) I would love to hear them. So far I have a chapter…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle (I know you’re away, so don’t feel obligated to respond to this until you get back) @theshadow @whalekeeper @koshka @raxforge

Sorry these are late, it slipped my mind until last night. Without further ado, here are chapters seven and eight (also known as the underground church cha…[Read more]

@jonas

My favorite is Chromancy, but I also like Chromamancy, Prismathurgy, and Spectrathurgy. For some reason the sole “t” and “l” sounds bother me when placed in front of “urgy”.

@theshadow

Sorry it took me a day to get back to you. Even though you said you didn’t like this first chapter much, I think it has potential. It introduces the characters and their world pretty well. It is a very short chapter. Is that normal throughout the book, or is this the exception? It’s fine to have shorter chapters, but I think it might…[Read more]

@esther-c Gotcha! A P.S. would be fun, but it might lessen the impact of the ending, so it depends on what you do. As it is right now, it doesn’t scream “actual letter” to me. It’s kind of like a thank-you-note (not exactly, but I don’t know how else to explain it.) or just a note. With a word count as short as yours, that’s fine, but maybe it’d…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Wow, that was creepy. I guess I don’t like horror. But it was pretty well-written, I think. It was cool how you tied the ending into the beginning.

If you want feedback faster in the future, I would tag people, otherwise your post gets buried underneath all the other topics and we have to go scrolling for it. Although, if you e…[Read more]

@theducktator

Lolol! I would ask @jonas since he’s the leader of the Adventure one. I don’t know who’s in charge of the others… I’m sure @whalekeeper would know.

@esther-c

It looks great! This was a cool idea. I think you did a good job inserting a theme into such a tiny paragraph. Out of curiosity, how much do you have left in the word count?

Also, are you planning to add a name at the top?

@theducktator

Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Ellette is out of town for the next two weeks, and I have family visiting this week (and I’ll be on vacation next week.) I would imagine that we’ll pick it back up on one of the following Saturdays, unless @savannah_grace2009 or someone else is interested in leading them while we’re gone. I don’t k…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oh no, I’m sorry! I’ll be praying for y’all as you travel and try to get things worked out.

We’ll miss you! 😢

@the_lost-journal

Oh…

I just feel bad :/

I don’t like it when I hurt people’s feelings  😥

@keilah-h

yeahhhh lol

I just asked ChatGPT to write a cringy story for me lolll

🔥🔥 THE LEGEND OF SIR BURGERFACE 2: REVENGE OF THE EVIL BROCCOLI KING’S COUSIN’S PET GOLDFISH 🔥🔥
Once upon a time, in the SUPER AWESOME kingdom of Snacktopia, Sir Burgerface was CHILLING on his golden throne made of curly fries, sipping a milkshake of power. Everybody loved him because he…

[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

…?

oh…

😓

I’m so confused…did I say something wrong? I was just saying that I like your name!!

I’m sorry if something I said hurt your feelings… :/

@keilah-h

also I’m still laughing about “bRiNg a MeLoN” lollll

It’s my favorite thing ever hahaha

@keilah-h

yessss I get like this too, I decide a scene is cringey, but I like it too much to remove it.

YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS

that’s the most relatable thing I’ve heard XDXD

What are they gonna do to Sef’s little sis?

Well…its kinda a long story and it’s gonna give away a lot (I also need to flesh out the plot wayyy more)

When I have all m…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

However, I have also gotten far enough to determine something else. Due to some things such as the romance, I don’t think am in the target audience for your story. I am no longer going to read this. This does not mean your story is bad, it just means that it’s not for me and I think others will be able to give you better fee…

[Read more]