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It’s totally fine! Don’t feel bad! (Now I feel bad for making you feel bad! lol)
No it’s ok! That was totally my bad 🙂
It does kind of sound like her though, so I see where you’re coming from.
Yeah, I jumped to conclusions : P
Yeah, I really don’t want the romance to be the main reason for the abuse, because that just sounds “cruel” to put my characters so much for the sake of an unhealthy romance, and is really cliche.
Sounds like a plan 🙂
I agree, screaming (especially in movies) really is heart wrenching and sad!
Yeah idk why, but it’s just the worst for me! I grew up a really sensitive kid though.
へびは かっこいい です！
I grew up a really sensitive kid though.
Yeah, same! I used to think scenes from veggietales were scary! XXXXD
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Another thing is I think it’s really important to give your character an identity that does not involve their hurt. Who are they, what do they want, and what is their goal? Their past and experiences can effect the answers to those questions, but hurt should never define a person.
What Min said here is exactly what I would say. You should never make the abuse the main attraction of the character. I feel very strongly about this 😂
A great exercise to do, is take away all the abuse the character’s gone through – all of it. Are they still interesting? Do they still have a personality, goals, and a unique perspective on life?
If they aren’t interesting without the abuse, you have a problem.
If that is the case, try developing them in other ways, ways that have story-telling substance and actual weight you can add into the plot. Abuse can be a main problem for them, but that doesn’t mean they think about it all the time. They have other things – life goals, romance, friendships, goofy ideas. It isn’t healthy or realistic otherwise.
For example, I’ve noticed distrust as a main flaw for any character abused. Without that abuse, though, what is their main flaw? They need other paths of development, not just those stemming from abuse.
I’ve heard that the emotional results of abuse shouldn’t be treated as flaws, but as disabilities – because you can’t fully heal from trauma in this life. You never chose those weaknesses – they chose you. Now, if you’re sinning as a result of those tendencies, you can find some way to avoid that by controlling them. But you will, at least for a long time, have those tendencies whether you like it or not.
I guess because of that… unless the character is actively battling a sinful tendency… I don’t see the justification of making abuse the main character development?
I mean, you can – but it would not be overcoming your own evil. It would be overcoming someone else’s.
Does that make sense?
KaPeefers 'til we're old and gray...
Yeah, that makes sense! That’s kind of what I already have been trying to do, but you put it in a way that makes more sense, lol.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333- Rank: Chosen One
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@savannah_grace2009 I think @mineralizedwritings and @whalekeeper both summed it up really well and had some really sound advice.
I will say please, please, PLEASE never include abuse in a storyline unless you feel comfortable writing it and it’s actually there for a reason…never make a character go through abuse and then have it not affect their story in anyway…it’s too unrealistic and can really hurt those that have actually gone through it.
I’m not sure how to depict it without being too graphic or violent. Any ideas?
As for this, the best advice I could give is make it vague.
You don’t have to show the abuse to show the effect of the abuse. What I mean by that is you don’t have to show the abuse graphically to hint at it, and you especially don’t have to write it in to show what effect it’s had on your character.
As an example, I’ll use a snippet from my book that I just finished the final editing on (and this isn’t perfect by any means! I’m still learning too! I just want to show you something to kinda help explain what I’m trying to explain, if that even makes any sense XD):
He wasn’t scared of the dark, no, he was scared of what it reminded him of. Darkness let memories seep in…memories he didn’t need nor want to remember.
Riker’s shaking hands rose to his left cheek, touching the fresh wound…the new scar.
Riker shook his head and blinked several times.
He continued down the ladder. He was almost near the bottom. Not too much further. He…he could make it. He had to.
“Riker, are you alright?” Ezekiel called, already down, looking up the ladder.
Riker gritted his teeth and shoved back memories. “I’m fine.”
Oh, he was far from fine. The darkness…the tight space…it reminded him of much. Too much.
“I don’t see what anyone else sees in you. I wanted a son that would be the greatest gift I could ever have. I wanted a son that would make me proud. I wanted a son I could love. Instead, all I got…was you.”
Riker tripped off the bottom rung and stumbled away from the ladder, still surrounded by darkness, dizzy, and trembling from head to toe.
His head ached and reeled from the memories…the flashbacks.
Riker collapsed against the wall and groaned.
Fin stepped off the ladder. He ran to Riker and crouched down beside him, squeezing Riker’s shoulders gently.
Riker moaned. He didn’t want to be touched.
In simplest terms, it’s another use of show don’t tell which is very common, popular, and helpful in writing.
You can be vague about the abuse (and I’d honestly really recommend for you to do so!) so it is never graphic
I think it’s important that we understand that this is a real issue, and though it does need to be handled and addressed by Christians willing to handle such topics, it is also important that we handle it with grace, compassion, and truth.
If you feel as if this is an important part of your character’s story, then I say go for it, but also be sure that you’re not adding it in just for the DRAMA
Also, prayer….prayer is very important <3
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