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Hey guys!
I am writing a fantasy world where after the “fall of man” the world is overrun by evil, similar to today’s crazy world. One of the characters gets physically abused by a relative, and I’m not sure how to depict it without being too graphic or violent. Any ideas?
Also I need help with how the character will act after trauma like abuse. Help!
I try showing my work to my parents, but they don’t like the genre I’ve been writing, so I’ve decided I need a new target audience. So anyone want to read my book that loves fantasy, sci fi, and allegories all in one?
~Sara
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Hi, Sara! (I’m Janelle, I don’t know that I’ve introduced myself to you yet.)
I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but perhaps try describing the incident vaguely or skip it over and mainly focus on the effects of the incident, rather than the horribleness of that moment. I’m thankful to not know firsthand the horribleness of physical abuse and it’s really hard to follow the famous advice to “write what you know” when you don’t know it. It’s not a light topic either.
PTSD, mistrust, physical tics as memories attack peace, a long road of mental recovery beyond whatever physical recovery needs to happen. I’d imagine all those all come after. Perhaps a seeking for justice as well. Forgiveness? I think of Corrie Ten Boom and the concentration camp as an example.
(Also, friendly sidenote, when your parents are on board with what you write, that’s the best place to be. 😊 Speaking as one who once co-wrote a story I became ashamed of the more chapters went into it, my advice would be to write what you are proud to share with the people you love and who love you. Even if they’re not into writing. In my autobiographical allegory, I’m about to put in a story that I’ve never told anyone but God about. It’s a little scary, but I’m going to put it out there in front of my parents, friends, and if the Lord wills, the world. But God gave me this story and I’m not ashamed.)
Happy writing, Sara!
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Tag me when you post the story! I want to read it! 🙂
@sarafini
Okay!
I agree that it’s the best to have your parents’ on board about the topics you write about but I just don’t really have that. For example, my mom is very sensitive to reading about sad things, so she puts herself in the character’s place when she reads my stories, and it’s just hard for her to read. Same with my dad. They don’t ever like “forbid” me or strongly encourage me not to write about those things….i don’t know, it’s complicated.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I don’t really know much about abuse effects or anything like that other than I’ve read in books, thankfully. One thing I would ask is, is it absolutely necessary to the plot/character? Because I think that can really easily become a cliched, sort of stereotypical in books, so if you’re just throwing it in there to make the character more interesting, you might want to reconsider. If you think it’s really important to the story, @freedomwriter76 or @godlyfantasy12 might have some tips for you.
"Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out." Eccl. 12:12
Well, I’ve asked myself that question multiple times. So since it’s an allegory, I think it was needed to show that God accepts us out of many different situations and no matter what we’ve been told, we’re always loved. It also builds the romantic aspect between the two MC’s because one comforts the other during flashbacks (thought that’s never by any means the main reason). There’s a number of reasons, really. Thanks for the tips!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Well, I’ve asked myself that question multiple times. So since it’s an allegory, I think it was needed to show that God accepts us out of many different situations and no matter what we’ve been told, we’re always loved. It also builds the romantic aspect between the two MC’s because one comforts the other during flashbacks (thought that’s never by any means the main reason). There’s a number of reasons, really. Thanks for the tips!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I think one of the best ways of writing uncomfortable/painful or possibly edge subjects is to merely state the facts and then be done, that’s how the Bible does it. (Perhaps, look at similar instances in the Bible and see how they are written.) You don’t need all the details. Sometimes the most powerful things said, are the things you won’t say (Or your character won’t). Would you want to tell someone in detail how you were hurt (possibly by someone you love)? No. Neither does your character.
One of my favorite quotes in regards to this topic is from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, “A great crowd of people were standing all round the Stone Table and through the moon was shining many of them carried torches which burned with evil-looking red flames and black smoke. But such people! Ogres with monstrous teeth, and wolves, and bull-headed men; spirits of evil trees, and poison plants: and other creatures whom I won’t describe because if I did the grown-ups would probably not let you read this book.” Lewis easily conveyed his point without telling you too much. And, you as the reader are fine (if not grateful) for that.
You will love what you spend time with.
This is a great question!
I totally understand the thing with your parents. I don’t show my work to my parents or many people either, just because I don’t know what people would think of it. Teenagers in general like dystopian/ darker genre’s I think, so it might be harder for them to understand why you write it. The world looks confusing and dark to us, so we write confusing and dark things sometimes 🤣
I would like to say… don’t take it too far. Sometimes it feels good to write trauma because we can relive all the hard feelings we’ve had in life, but I think it can go too far, and at that point it no longer seems realistic. If a character is too unrealistic with the amount of hurt in the story, than it can start to feel less real, and I think become less impactful. Kinda like… if there’s guns being shot all throughout a movie, when the last shot is fired, it doesn’t leave a impact. However, if the last shot will sound so much louder if we hadn’t heard a gunshot yet. You don’t need a ton of hurt in a book to have just as much impact, and share the same messages.
Abuse is a really hard thing to write if you don’t know somebody who has experience with it, or have experienced it yourself.
One of the main mistakes I see a lot of people doing is not making it messy. I know that’s hard, but it’s realistic. Abusive relationships don’t always feel all bad. I mean there are many cases of just bad people, where it’s obviously black and white, but with milder cases I think it feels grey sometimes, even harder if you still love the person. It’s true that it’s not always messy, but in most less severe cases, It’s complicated because the two can still have good memories from past times, and see a glimpse of who used to be there. Cutting a abusive person off when you still love them is hard.
Also, I would say that it takes different people different amounts of time to learn to trust, and I wouldn’t take it too fast. If you’ve ever had damaged trust before, you know it’s not a quick fix. You see the world through a different lens, and opening yourself up means you might get hurt again, and pushed farther back. Make it worth it for that breakthrough moment, and give the character enough time to heal and be ready to take the leap.
Another thing is I think it’s really important to give your character an identity that does not involve their hurt. Who are they, what do they want, and what is their goal? Their past and experiences can effect the answers to those questions, but hurt should never define a person.
As far as graphic stuff, showing it isn’t always necessary. I think the thing is, why are you including what? Are you trying to shock the reader? Again, this is really hard to write. Not using abuse as a shock factor, but also respecting the hard things people have been through is a grey area. I think it’s better to show the emotions associated with what happened, instead of describing it.
For instance, a scene showing your character crying while tended to fresh scars doesn’t show a beating, any screaming ect, but we understand what happened. You can describe fear in her eyes ect, all of that without showing it. Honestly screaming is what gets me and when I tend to stop watching/reading something, it’s where the line is for me. And honestly, pray about it! Pray about why you want to write the things you are writing, I’m sure there’s a reason for it, and pray for wisdom on how to portray it correctly. Don’t stress about it too much, and feel free to ask for advice when you need to. I’ll try my best to always give you a honest answer 😊 we’re here to help you!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Oh and I saw you said you needed help with how they would act after trauma and abuse, so I’ll add on a little more.
Everyone I think will have a slightly different reaction, but seeing as it’s a relative, it depends on what their relationship was like before this started. Did it start when she was young? If so, she likely thinks it’s normal behavior. Did it start when she was older? She then might feel hurt first, try to reason with the person, or take longer to react because she is simply stunned somebody she loved wants to hurt her. I would say fear is probably going to be the overarching emotion, but that doesn’t mean she will react on it. Low self esteem too maybe.
Not everyone tries to hide what’s happened to them, it depends on the situation. Sometimes people will tell somebody they trust, then urge them to share it with no-one else. They might not fight back at all, choosing to please the other person (I think this is a much more common response than fighting back. Most people understand fighting back only worsens their abuse)
Maybe try to focus on one thing. I know your main mc thinks she isn’t beautiful, and is very defensive, also tries to hide her scars. The last two are really believable and it seems realistic, however in a situation as desperate as hers I don’t personally think she would care about her outward appearance, more about survival and who to trust/not trust.
I would be cautious about using it to develop a romance too, that can be a unhealthy way to relay on somebody. It’s good to be their for your friends, but if a romantic partner is how you are healing from trauma there might be something off. Maybe have her heal a bit outside of her relationship with him on her own before she meets him.
Also I would take a break from it sometimes, writing a heavy wip like this all the time really wears you down.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Oh also (I’m sorry, if you can’t tell I have a lot of info on the topic to share) if you look up what ptsd is like you’ll know more about those flashback reactions. I have no idea how real they are but I see them all the times in books, and books generally aren’t a good source of reference.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Great advice!
Ottoline from “Character Party” isn’t the one I was asking the question for, though, it’s an entirely different character. (If you check out my WIP page on KP, you’ll see it.)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Oops! Sorry about the assumption, I hope it was helpful in some way! 🙂
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Girl I feel so bad about that now, I just tried to give advice on a character when you didn’t ask for it 🤦🏻♀️it just really sounded like Ottoline’s situation 😭
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
It’s totally fine! Don’t feel bad! (Now I feel bad for making you feel bad! lol)
It does kind of sound like her though, so I see where you’re coming from.
Yeah, I really don’t want the romance to be the main reason for the abuse, because that just sounds “cruel” to put my characters so much for the sake of an unhealthy romance, and is really cliche.
I agree, screaming (especially in movies) really is heart wrenching and sad!
I’ve decided to display the abuse in ways that the reader can easily infer, like the type of person Iver is (the abusive older cousin that Sef is forced to live with), the way Sef changes in the eyes of her friends, and flashbacks/nightmares.
This has been helpful with affirming what conclusions I’ve already drawn as well as giving me new ideas, so I really appreciate all of your comments, guys!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333
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