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Another possible I just had was one I saw in a show once, where people registered children who had never been born and then grew them up over the years, and sold the identities to anyone who would pay for them. That could be a very profitable business in a dystopian world.
Yes, I could possibly tweak the order of events. Or else, Jean could contact Errol after the event and he’s safe in his new identity.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
That sounds like a good idea.
I think you can have it such that this prologue depicts the second visit Jean makes to the store. So he first visits the store to check if there are available identities for him and Chessy to use and ‘reserves’ those identities (has to be a similar age, appearance has to be similar, father-daughter relation is preferable etc.). After that, he picks up Chessy and tells Errol what name he is planning to use in the future and where he can find him, then returns with Chessy to the store to pick up the documents and change their tattoos.
Lovin’ all the SFI talk going around, but I sadly cannot join you at the moment. 🙁 I might be on tomorrow, if any of you think you’ll be too.
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOkay, that seems like a pretty easy fix and it makes a lot more sense. I’ll work that in 😀
I’m not sure that I will be, since it will be Sunday, but I might have time to chat in the afternoon.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
Honestly, all our discussions together are really helpful for my book, even if they do sometimes cause me to despair 😛
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
Haha should I consider a career change as an editor? 😛
You’ve been helping me with QOD as well (even if I don’t think there’s been much to discuss so far thanks to how tediously slow my writing is) so I’m glad to return the favour whenever I can.
I think that would be a very fitting career path for you. I’d certainly hire you anyway. 😀
I’m still waiting for P3, but since you assure me that it’s coming along, I shall be obediently patient 🙂
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice I’m back!
I read your prologue, then read through the discussion you and @valtmy have been having. I like your conclusions. I only have two things to add. (that I’ve thought of so far… 😉 )
#1: If they changed their names, Chessy shouldn’t even know her father Jean’s real name as a teenager, should she? He has changed her name to Chessy, and we know she grows up with that name, but if he told her all her history, and that his real name was Jean Verde, wouldn’t that make it dangerous for her and him in case they were ever questioned? Are you intending to change all Chessy’s interactions so she calls herself “Chessy Whitehall” and since it’s nearly all from Sapphire and Chessy’s POV, will Jean be called “John” until you finally get to his POV at the end of the book?
#2: I think the barcode idea sounds very realistic, and like something that will happen in the near future. You’ll probably put in the minds of a lot of the readers the Mark of the Beast, though, which would make them question why Jean allowed himself to get it. I don’t know enough about the subject to form a cohesive discussion about it. All I’m saying here is that some readers might see this as the Mark of the Beast and I’m wondering whether you’ve thought of that similarity or not. 🙂
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
Haha thanks. Unfortunately, if I do pursue editing as a career, I would not be able to pick and choose what projects I want to read as freely as I do now (since editing work will become a matter of putting food on the table) and I don’t think I can do that since I am so easily bored and frustrated by many types of stories and genres. If I have to say, read a science-fiction with aliens that “explores what it means to be human” (which they always sell as something groundbreaking but I personally think is terribly cliche) or some angsty young adult novel involving characters that should be taken to a shrink, I don’t think I have it in me to develop enough interest to give it a fair review. This means that eventually, editing, writing and storytelling will become just a job to me and cause me to become dispassionate about my own stories. I really don’t want that to happen so I don’t think that that is something I should do unless I mature as a reader and reviewer first and become more open to genres that I don’t necessarily like.
Thanks for your understanding and patience. 😛
@valtmy @rochellaine @ariel-ashira @seekjustice @dekreel @alia @catwing
I’ll be on for a bit, if anyone would like to join me. 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comleaving now…
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOh no I missed you 🙁
You around? Don’t think there’ll be anyone else who might be…
Hello 🙂
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
Hi. Are you working on SFI again today? 🙂
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