Worth All the World

[The Ducktator]

@esther-c

Do you have any additional feedback after having read the whole thing?

What Sara said about adding in the other siblings a bit more. Most of them I couldn’t name or differentiate. Granted, I can barely keep track of my own siblings. XD

I loved Easton and Autumn! They’re so sweet and loving, and I can totally imagine them as grandparents sitting on the porch drinking lemonade together 50 years later. ?

?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?

[TheShadow]

@esther-c

Hey, I finished your book, and it was really good! I loved the part where Hallie stands up to Katrina and is able to talk to Patrick, I’m glad Patrick turned out to be a generally good, if a little misled, guy. The ending campfire scene where it reflects the beginning is good too, I like how it goes back to the beginning but you can see the change in characters.

With feedback, I second Sara’s critique. I couldn’t really remember the siblings, so having moments where Hallie and Easton interact with them would help (they don’t even have to be that big). For example, you could have a moment where they’re doing random, weird siblings stuff (as siblings do).
The scene where Hallie makes up with Jennifer was good, it definitely showed a lot about their friendship. However, I think Jennifer forgave her a bit too fast considering she was angry enough to confront Hallie and not talk to her for a couple weeks.

Lastly, in the scenes where Hallie and Easton are pouring out their hearts to God, I would go into their thoughts, and let them be raw. It’ll help the readers to really see their change of heart and the true repentance they have. I think if you show their thoughts throughout the whole story with their struggle and be completely raw, your characters will feel even more human (not saying they didn’t feel human, they were incredibly realistic and you did a good job with that. Just showing thoughts more would help the audience connect even more).

Easton and Autumn are cute together, they would totally get married in the future.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[Esther]

@hybridlore @theducktator @theshadow

Thank you ladies sooo much for the feedback!! It makes me even more excited to dive into the third draft! <33

Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

[Author]

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