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I’ll keep watching from the shadows and once the draft is over I’ll give you more input on that XD
Yes please do!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Noooooooo Tyler!?Poor Easton.? I’m glad Hallie is starting to come back to God. Antonio is so sweet.?
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
Noooooooo Tyler!?Poor Easton.? I’m glad Hallie is starting to come back to God. Antonio is so sweet.?
I love the smorgasbord of emotions slapped into this post ?
I was just thinking about it last night in bed and i realized that what you pointed out about Easton isn’t a huge part of his character arc as far as I remember. So as you read more and I start the third draft, I’m going to really have to pay attention to that, because I don’t want to come off as if I’m ignoring Easton’s behavior, but I also don’t know how well it would merge with the main theme. (I think you’ll see what I mean once you read the completed draft)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Okay that makes sense…I’ll keep reading and waiting for more and I’ll let you know if I come up with anything else!
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)Okay, I’m all caught up (also was gone for a while), and this is a really engaging story. I did feel sad when Tyler was gone, so good job there, and I like how everything is going. A few things, I’ve noticed you used something along the lines of “(Character’s name) hated…” to describe what they were feeling, so changing that up a bit might keep it from being too samey. Also, telling what the characters are feeling is a bit repetitive as well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using it a few times, just it does reoccur quite a bit.
Overall, you’re doing a great job, can’t wait to see where the story goes!(EASTON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?)
"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc
Okay, I’m all caught up (also was gone for a while), and this is a really engaging story. I did feel sad when Tyler was gone, so good job there, and I like how everything is going.
Thank you so much!!
A few things, I’ve noticed you used something along the lines of “(Character’s name) hated…” to describe what they were feeling, so changing that up a bit might keep it from being too samey. Also, telling what the characters are feeling is a bit repetitive as well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using it a few times, just it does reoccur quite a bit.
Whoops! Thanks for pointing that out!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@savannah_grace2009 @theducktator @grcr @smiley @keilah-h @theshadow
Chapter 24
Hallie walked into school, gripping onto the straps of her backpack. Because of all that had gone on recently, she hadn’t gone to school for the past few days. But by Thursday, Mom declared it time to get back into the normal rhythm of life.
How can anything go back to normal now that Tyler’s gone?
Life wouldn’t be the same without him. But the thoughts that really plagued her were the ways that Tyler had handled his situation. Hallie had never heard him utter one complaint the whole time. He smiled even when he was in pain. He used his situation as an opportunity to share the gospel. Even when people had made fun of him for his faith, he didn’t back down. Hallie hated the bad feeling she got inside whenever she thought of that.
She finally made it to her locker without any interaction. With a sigh, she transferred books and notebooks from her bag and her locker. Now that Tyler had passed, Hallie wasn’t sure how she was going to keep her end of the deal with Katrina. Surely Jennifer, Antonio, Javier, or Autumn would talk to her. How was she going to handle that?
“Hallie?”
Hallie turned to face Jennifer, tears immediately brimming her eyes. “Jen…” She pulled her into the hug, the two friends taking a moment to grieve.
“Where have you been?” Jen asked as she pulled back.
“Helping the Baileys and stuff like that.”
“Not this week, Hallie, last week.” Her eyes carried a look of hurt.
Hallie shifted her weight from foot to foot. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen you but you’ve completely ignored me. What’s going on? Is something else wrong?”
“No…” Her gaze dropped to the floor.
“Then what’s the problem?” Jen seemed seriously concerned.
“I, um…” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Katrina, she—”
“Katrina?” Jen took a step back, her expression darkening.
“No, no. I mean, yes, it’s just—”
“I warned you about her.”
“I know. But she invited me to this party and—”
“Oh.” Jen swallowed, breaking eye contact. “Is that what this is all about? You have a new friend group now?”
“No, just new friends.” Hallie stepped forward, trying to catch Jen’s drifting gaze.
“If you’ve moved on…”
“Jen, no, really.”
She held up a hand. “I understand. This is high school. Friends change. I just didn’t think you’d give up on us this easily.” She lifted her head, meeting Hallie’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, I can explain.”
“There’s not much to explain.” Jen gave a sad smile. “I knew this would happen once you started hanging out with Katrina… and Patrick.”
“It’s not either of them. You don’t under—”
“Really? Because you and Patrick seem pretty chummy. And Katrina? Don’t even get me started. She’s using you.”
“She’s only trying to help.” Hallie repeated what Katrina had repeatedly told her, but now that the words came from her own mouth, they felt dull and pointless.
“You can say that, but I see what’s going on. I thought Antonio would finally get inside your head, but I guess you’ve shut him out too.”
“Jen, please—” Hallie marched after her as Jen walked swiftly down the hall. “Just give me a week. Maybe a little more than that.”
“Oh so you’re scheduling your friendships now? Making time for me and Katrina?”
“Jennifer.” Hallie stepped in front of her, forcing their eyes to meet. “Listen to me.”
Jen cocked an eyebrow as Hallie took a deep breath. “I’m listening.”
“I… You… You see…” Hallie couldn’t find any way to excuse her behavior. She blinked repeatedly, racking her brain for something to say. But her lack of an explanation had done it.
Something clouded over Jennifer, as if she was finally shutting Hallie out as well. “I understand Hallie.”
“Will you at least give me a chance?”
“I have.”
“No, just— There’s a lot going on with Tyler and everything—”
“Oh I know. I’m hurting, Hallie. A lot. Not only from Tyler but from the way you’ve treated me and the rest of our friends. My friends. I’m glad you’ve finally noticed.” Jen pushed past Hallie and melted into the rush of students.
Hallie’s shoulders slumped and she blinked away tears. This was all her fault. No, this was all Katrina’s fault.
“Hallie girl! Where have you been all week?”
Hallie faced Katrina’s smile with a look so intense it knocked Katrina back a few steps.
“Woah, what’s going on?”
“You ruined everything.” Hallie’s tone was low, almost threatening. She barely even recognized it.
“Me?” Katrina laughed. “You’re kidding. I’ve only made things better for you.”
“No, you haven’t. You broke my friendships!”
“Hallie girl…” Katrina lowered her voice. “What are you talking about? I’ve given you new ones, see?” She motioned over Hallie’s shoulder to where Patrick was approaching her, that boyish smile on his lips. He rested a long arm over Hallie’s shoulders.
“Where have you been this week? I’ve missed you.”
Why was Patrick acting like this? The past few months he had respected her space and treated her like a friend. What was with all this sudden closeness?
Hallie took a baby step away from him. He sensed her pulling away and dropped his arm to his side. “We…” She dropped her gaze, studying the laces on her Converse. “Something happened…”
Whatever facade Patrick had come in putting on immediately melted, giving way to a tender expression, almost as if he knew exactly what she was talking about. But as far as Hallie knew, not many students knew about the news yet.
A sudden rush of students poured in from the front doors. Hallie knew it was the prayer group. It was pointless now. Why did they keep on praying to a God who let good people die?
Antonio passed by her, not saying anything, not even smiling. He only met her gaze, something much deeper than words could say hidden in his eyes. It was a mix of hurt and confusion, but also pity and even sympathy.
Something in that look sparked a fire inside of Hallie. Why did he pity her? He should be the one being pitied. He was the one who believed in a God who let Tyler get cancer, get sick, and ultimately die.
Ever since Tyler had started his treatments, Easton had been crazy busy, leaving Hallie with little time to spend with him. The pressure from her friends who had always invited her to join the prayer group coupled with the pressure from Katrina had broken Hallie down until she had to buckle to the stronger side—Katrina. And now with her new friend group, Antonio seemed to pity her and Jennifer had been hurt.
None of this would have happened if Tyler hadn’t gotten cancer. If only God had never let it happen.
Unexpectedly, she remembered the story of Antonio’s family, who were ridiculed and persecuted because of their faith. In the end, his father died because of what they believed in.
For a brief moment she wondered if it might be worth it to not abandon God. To give Him a chance to change her perspective. But that moment was fleeting, quickly blown away by whatever force had been fanning the little sparks of rebellion in her heart.
Why should she stand up for a God who ruined her life?
“Hey, Hallie girl?” Katrina snapped her fingers. “You still there?”
Hallie gave a firm nod.
“You zoned out on me there. Anyway,” Katrina flipped her hair over her shoulder, “I just wanted to remind you of the conversation we had last week.” She gave her cute little head tilt, her narrowed eyes flashing between Antonio, who stood at his locker only a few feet away, and Patrick, who stood right beside her.
“Right.” Hallie took in a shaky breath, confidently meeting Katrina’s eyes. “I’m looking forward to the party next week.”
Apparently she had said the right answer, earning an approving smile and nod from Katrina. “Good.”
Patrick seemed to have sensed a shift in the dynamic between them. He carefully caught Hallie’s gaze. “Can I walk you to class?”
She flashed him her sweetest smile. “I would love that.”
And as she walked down the hall with Patrick, she knew she enjoyed the jealous stares a little too much this time.
***
Easton took a deep breath, staring at the five-page essay in his hands. This was it. He carefully sealed it in a yellow envelope, following the university’s instructions for handling exactly. As he drove to the post office, he kept running through a mental checklist to make sure he had included everything he wanted into his essay. Dr. Adams had said it was perfect.
Easton had included a personal story and the motivation as to why he wanted this scholarship. He wanted to dedicate his life to studying cancer and finding quicker, easier treatments, and even possibly a cure. Although the cancer hadn’t actually taken Tyler’s life, it had greatly weakened his immune system, causing his body to succumb to what he could have easily recovered from otherwise.
He stomped the snow off his boots in front of the door and relished the warm blast of air as he entered the post office. He remembered coming here as a little kid and playing with the spinning displays of greeting cards, or climbing on the metal poles that kept the lines of people separated. And if Tyler came, it was always his idea, and he was always the one to blame if they got in trouble. Easton found himself smiling as he got to the front of the line and handed the package to the man behind the desk.
After giving the details and signing a paper, Easton began to head for the door, but a stack of newspapers caught his eye. He pulled the first one off and opened it up, finding a picture of Tyler’s face on the second page. Underneath was an article talking about his short life, but how he had impacted others through his character. It contained quotation after quotation from those who had been blessed by Tyler’s friendship.
Easton paid for that paper and another. Mr. and Mrs. Bailey needed to see this. And before the funeral. It was this afternoon and Easton dreaded it but was at peace with it all at the same time. The rest of the morning slipped away along with the gray clouds that had been blocking the sun.
As Easton and his family walked across the parking lot towards the church entrance, he found it offensive in a way that the sun chose to shine on such a sad day. But when he thought it over, he decided that it was the world’s way of giving back to the legacy Tyler had left behind. Why shouldn’t the day they celebrated his life be the most beautiful winter day? They knew where he was now, in heaven worshiping the Savior he had served so faithfully. Maybe this sunny day was the smallest glimpse of what Tyler was experiencing right now.
The thought brought a tearful smile to Easton’s face. He would never understand the fullness of joy Tyler was experiencing in God’s presence until he one day stood there himself. And he would… but only after he had lived a life preserving Tyler’s legacy by finding better ways to treat other cancer patients.
The soft hum of gentle conversation filled Easton’s ears as they entered the church. He saw Tyler’s parents and extended family in the front at the receiving line, giving hugs and sharing memories. Easton fell into the long line, letting his gaze rest on the posters full of pictures.
Easton had only been to one other funeral, his great-grandmother’s, when he was only seven. He remembered the same types of posters in the room, except hers showed her long life, pictures from every stage from birth to only a few weeks ago. It felt wrong to only see pictures of Tyler young. Yet that was how it was. He had only had eighteen years, but by the abundance of photos, he had clearly used them to the best of his ability.
With each photo Easton recognized came a flood of memories, filling his eyes with tears. In his heart swirled a mix of grief and joy. How could he hurt so much yet feel so at peace? Easton’s mind snapped back to the present as he felt someone slip a strong arm around his shoulders. In front of him the line had moved a few feet and Dad was gentle guiding him forward. Easton took a shuffle step closer to his father. “How long is it going to hurt like this?”
“I don’t know…” Dad squeezed him gently. “But you aren’t alone.”
Easton didn’t care how long he had to wait to see the Baileys. He enjoyed seeing all the photos and the memories they brought with them. When he finally reached the front of the line, he gave Mr. and Mrs. Bailey long hugs, making sure they also knew they weren’t alone in their grief, even though Easton could never understand how it must feel to lose their only son.
As Easton pulled back, a crooked smile curled his lips. “You know, Tyler was always spoiled.”
Mrs. Bailey tilted her head.
“He gets all the good stuff up there while we’re bawling our eyes out down here.”
The three of them laughed softly through their tears. Easton gave them one more hug and walked away, joining the rest of his family in a row of chairs. He took a few deep breaths, trying to control his tears. But when Autumn stopped by to give him a hug, the tears came all over again.
His eyes never seemed to dry during the whole service as family and friends shared stories, as the pastor talked about why Tyler had hope after death and how everyone else could too, as they sang his favorite hymn… That was when Easton could handle it no more.
As the church-full of people raised their voices in harmony singing the chorus of “It Is Well”, Easton escaped into the solitude of the adjoining hallway, trying not to completely lose it. He couldn’t sing those words honestly. It wasn’t well with his soul. In fact, it was far from it. He had tried to offer words of encouragement to those who joined him in mourning, he had said all the right things, had tried so hard to listen to the pastor’s words of hope and encouragement, but an unsettled feeling still plagued his soul.
Easton leaned against the wall, sliding to a seated position and pulling his knees to his chest. He couldn’t stop thinking of what Tyler’s future might have looked like if God had only let him live. With each contrived memory, more tears spilled down Easton’s cheeks. It wasn’t fair. Why did Tyler have to die when he could have made more of an impact through many more years of life? Why did God disregard Easton’s efforts to save Tyler and bring it all to an end?
Easton laid out his legs, letting the back of his head rest against the wall, no longer trying to control his tears. After a few minutes, he didn’t have any strength left to cry. Only a deep, dark sadness covered his troubled spirit.
Autumn came around the corner in her wheelchair, like an angel sent to save Easton from his despair. But he knew that nothing she could say would help Easton. She must have known that too, because she didn’t say anything. She only slipped out of her wheelchair, scooted next to Easton, held his hand in both of hers, and rested her head on his shoulder, her silence a balm to his soul.
Chapter 25
When Hallie saw Easton leave the auditorium, she couldn’t handle it any longer. She had managed to keep most of the tears at bay for the past hour, but they finally escaped, spilling silently down her cheeks. Why did God have to let this happen? To Easton? To the Baileys? To her?
She had learned all her life that He was a good God. But why serve a “good” God who let bad things like this happen? Did He even care? Tyler was the model Christian, a perfect servant of Christ. Hallie thought God would let him live a long, fulfilling life. But no. He cut it short. And for what reason? How could anything good come out of something so bad?
Hallie stayed glued to her seat for the rest of the service, tuning out what the pastor had to say. Nothing he could say would make this any better. Before joining her family in the fellowship hall for the reception, she hurried to the bathroom to compose herself.
She bit down hard on her lip as soon as her eyes met her reflection in the mirror. Her mascara and eyeliner had smudged from the tears and the blush she had spent so much time blending perfectly this morning now looked dull. She yanked a paper towel from the dispenser and ran it under cool water, gently wiping it under each eye. Why did Katrina ever suggest this eyeliner? Hallie knew she didn’t like it, so why didn’t she ever listen to herself? She wet another paper towel to completely remove the eyeliner.
She stared at her red-rimmed eyes in the mirror, only her lashes coated with a thin layer of mascara. This was better. More natural. More like her. She took a deep breath, burying the emotions that threatened to produce more tears. She reached for the door handle just as it opened.
Katrina swept into the room, the heavy scent of her perfume trailing behind her. “Oh hello, Hallie girl.”
“Hey Katrina.”
“Listen.” Katrina leaned towards the mirror, fixing her hair as she spoke with Hallie. “I want you to—” She finally seemed to notice that Hallie didn’t care for a girly conversation at the moment. She tilted her head. “Are you okay?”
Okay? Of course I’m not okay! God let one of the best people I’ve ever known die, I’ve lost all my good friends, Easton’s a wreck, and you ask if I’m okay? I’m not okay Katrina! But instead of spewing all her thoughts, she just shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “I’m fine.”
Katrina stepped away from the mirror, slowly approaching Hallie. “I know how you feel.”
This was the first time Hallie had heard Katrina speak so softly, so gently. Hallie forced her gaze up. “You do?”
She nodded. Her blue eyes filled with tears. “I lost my parents when I was in middle school.”
“Katrina, I’m so sorry.” More salty tears slowly streaked down Hallie’s face.
Katrina waved off the sympathies, shaking her head. “It’s alright. It was their fault anyway.”
Hallie had never heard someone speak so bluntly about a lost loved one. She hesitated to ask for an explanation, but Katrina wasn’t waiting for her to ask.
“They were missionaries in Mexico.”
Missionaries? Katrina’s parents were Christians?
“It was okay at first, I guess. People were coming to church. But other people weren’t, and I knew it wasn’t good. They kept trying to keep the church from meeting.”
Hallie’s brow furrowed. This sounded a lot like Antonio’s story. Way too much like it.
“They were helping out this one guy host the church in his home.” Katrina avoided eye contact, her gaze roaming the floor. “But one day the house caught on fire and—” She finally broke, the tears escaping. Hallie felt the urge to comfort her through a hug, but also felt something holding her back.
“They made sure I was safe, then went back to help the others escape.” Her voice wobbled with emotion. “The house collapsed and… they died.”
Hallie pressed her lips together, holding back the fresh tears that blurred her vision. “Katrina, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be.” Katrina ran a finger under each eye. “It was their own fault. And God’s. He let them die. They were good people, Hallie, doing good things. But following God didn’t bless them. They burned to death for serving Him… along with the other man trapped inside.”
The pieces fell into place in Hallie’s head with a shocking, piercing pain. “Antonio’s dad.” Her voice was only a breath. “That’s how you knew.”
Katrina nodded. “Yes. That’s why I’ve tried to keep you away from him. He’s blinded, just like all those other Jesus freaks. They think following God is all sunshine and roses, but it’s not.” Her voice was sharp, bitter. “Look where it landed Antonio’s dad. Look where my parents went because of it. That’s why I’ve been trying to help you. I’m trying to keep you from unnecessary pain.”
Hallie slowly sank into the bench by the door, shaking her head, trying to convince herself that what Katrina said was wrong, all wrong. But it made sense. Way too much sense to ignore.
“I haven’t seen God do anything for Tyler. He was perfect, but just like my parents, his life was cut too short and it hurt everyone he knew.”
The words sunk into Hallie’s heart, bringing to surface the doubts and fears she had chosen to ignore lately. She held her head in her hands. “Katrina, that’s not true.”
“You sure? Because all I’ve seen are people hurt because of God. I gave up on Him years ago because He didn’t do anything for me or my parents. I’m trying to keep you from that same fate Hallie.” She sat down beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Hallie had never heard Katrina talk like this. A mixture of grief and hurt hung heavy in her tone, yet underneath it all was the underlying sharpness of bitterness. Hallie wanted to pity her, but everything Katrina was saying sounded true. How could she have not seen it before?
She didn’t have the energy to respond to Katrina’s reasoning now. Hallie stood, taking a deep breath and collecting herself. “Thanks Katrina.” She met those blue eyes and gave a smile and nod.
Katrina matched her expression. “I knew you’d understand.”
***
Hallie only mouthed the words in church the next morning, unable to sing the words and truly mean it. Her conversation with Katrina rolled around in her head, coupled with moments from Tyler’s funeral and memories of his friendship.
She didn’t want to admit it, but maybe Katrina was right. Was all this God stuff really worth it? She had only gained more popularity by not associating with it, so how could identifying with it like Tyler and Mrs. Stanford help her?
How could God be so unfair? People like Tyler, Mrs. Stanford, Katrina’s parents, and Antonio’s dad were good people doing really good things for the Lord. And they only got bad things from it. Maybe following Him wasn’t worth it. Why follow a God who let down those who loved Him?
Hallie tuned out the words to the song. Her eyes slowly drifted to her left, where Easton stood unmoving. His arms hung stiffly, his hands shoved into his pockets. Instead of sparkling, silver pools, his eyes looked like a gray, stormy sky. He kept his jaw clenched firmly, not even bothering to look like he was singing.
A deep sadness filled Hallie’s soul. If God was good, why did He put people like Easton through so much pain? Salty tears burned the edges of her vision. Her teeth clamped down on the inside of her cheek in an effort to hold back the tears. She couldn’t do this anymore.
Hallie closed her eyes, taking a silent deep breath. Turmoil rumbled in her soul like a thunderstorm over the empty desert. Finally, the pastor’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Following Jesus doesn’t guarantee an easy life. In fact, sometimes it can make your life more difficult as those who hate Jesus persecute you. But I can promise you this—that when you give your whole heart to Jesus and surrender your life to Him, you won’t regret it. He’s worth it all, church. Worth it all.”
Hallie swallowed the pastor’s words, the truth painfully sinking in. She knew that’s what Tyler believed and lived out, one hundred percent. But right now she didn’t want to fight the battle between what she wanted to believe and what she knew she should believe. She shoved it further into the recesses of her heart, not allowing herself to truly meditate on or accept it. According to Katrina, following Jesus didn’t get you anywhere good. But following her…that was a different story.
Hallie felt the tug-of-war in her heart and succumbed to the stronger side. At least for this week, Katrina would win. She and God hadn’t exactly been on speaking terms lately, so why make life more complicated by trying to fix it?
Chapter 26
Easton swirled the tea in his cup. “The deadline was today. That means I should be getting a response within the next few weeks.”
“Don’t stress out about it. This isn’t your only chance to go to college.”
Easton forced a chuckle. “But it’s my only chance to go to college for free.”
Autumn cocked her head, reading his face. “That’s not the only thing you’re worried about, is it?”
Easton sighed, leaning back in the coffee shop chair. He hesitated before finally sharing his thoughts. “I want to do something important. You know I’ve always wanted to change the world and I think I’ve finally found a way to do it. If I can find a cure for cancer, imagine the lives that could be saved. Then fewer people have to go through what we’re going through.”
“What if you can’t find a cure?”
“Then… I… I don’t know.” He pushed his glasses up with a flick of his finger. “Autumn, I think this is my purpose. I have to do something. This is my chance to change the world. There’s no way I’ll be able to afford going to college for that same degree if I don’t get this scholarship.”
Autumn tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, taking a sip of her latte. “If God wants you to become a doctor, then He’ll make a way.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Autumn spoke again. “What if you don’t win the scholarship?”
“I don’t like to think about that.” He offered a pained smile and redirected his gaze out the coffee shop window, watching the cars whiz by in the rain.
“Easton…” Autumn reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you really?”
Easton sighed, dropping his head. He slowly brought his gaze back up to meet hers. “I don’t think so. Autumn, I feel like I could have done something more to save Tyler. I did everything I could but it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what to do now that he’s gone.” Tears blurred Autumn’s gentle expression.
“God brought him home for a reason. You know that. He’s going to use this for something. You might not see it now, maybe not ever, but nothing happens without a reason. Sometimes we do all we can to bring about a result, but God’s will is different. It’s going to be much easier for you if you accept His will rather than fight it.”
Coming from anyone else, Easton may have not let those words sink as deep as they did. But coming from the lips of someone who knew what it was like to doubt God, he let her words nestle into his heart. He had tried so hard these past few days to accept God’s will, but it hurt so much to know that Tyler was gone. Yes, Easton would see him again one day in eternity, but that didn’t make it much easier to bear this side of heaven.
After all the time and energy he had spent on raising money for Tyler’s treatments and praying for him on his own or with others, he didn’t know what to do with himself now that it seemed like all his efforts had gone to waste. Fighting Tyler’s battle alongside him gave Easton a purpose. He had really felt like he was making a difference. But now that it had ended, he felt unfulfilled and empty. How could he manage to express that all to Autumn?
“What are you thinking?” Autumn asked, breaking their silence.
“A lot… I feel… hopeless. Like I don’t have a purpose any more.”
Autumn encouraged him to continue with a nod.
“Tyler’s gone and now I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Autumn gave him a gentle smile. “Pray about it.”
She made the solution sound so simple, but was it really? When he got home that evening, he decided to try to take her advice to heart. He stared out his bedroom window and into the starry night.
“I don’t know what to do anymore.” He whispered. “I’m not even sure what to ask from You… I just need Your help…” He held back tears. He wanted to say more, he just didn’t know what to say. He sat on the edge of his bed and rested his head in his hands.
***
Easton played with the food on his plate not quite feeling up to eating. The Baileys were over for dinner. He should have been taking comfort in their presence and the mutual pain they were all working through, but he felt so disconnected all evening, lost in his thoughts. It wasn’t right without Tyler. How could they sit here, eating Tyler’s favorite meal, without him eating with them, the center of the conversation.
But as Easton let his ears take in the voices around him, he noticed Tyler was the center of conversation. His name was brought up every few minutes. Stories were told—some of which Easton had heard hundreds of times, but which never got old. Somehow, a flicker of joy burned in the corner of his heart, chasing away some of the darkness.
As the families migrated towards the living room, Mr. Bailey asked where Ruby was. Easton looked around. “I think she went outside. I’ll go check on her.” He needed some space anyway.
He found Ruby sitting on the porch step, twirling the lace of her sweatshirt in between her fingers. Easton carefully sat beside her. “Aren’t you cold?” The January air pierced through his sweater and jeans.
She shrugged.
“Ruby… are you okay?”
She slowly looked up at him, her dark eyes pooling with tears. “I miss Tyler.” She fell into Easton’s arms, her little body shaking with sobs. Easton held her tight. Tears dripped down his face. All he could think about was that maybe he could have done something to keep Ruby from this pain. Maybe if he had worked harder Tyler would have made it.
After a few minutes, Ruby calmed down, her breathing returning to normal. She peeled herself away from Easton, but stayed right by his side, resting her head on his shoulder. She sniffled. “I feel bad for all the times I called him mean. He wasn’t mean. He was very very nice.”
A smile wobbled onto Easton’s face. “Yes, he was.”
Ruby held onto Easton’s left hand with hers, tracing the veins and tendons with her little finger. “I want him back.”
“I know, Ruby. Me too.”
“I don’t like seeing Mommy and Daddy sad.”
Easton swallowed the choke in his throat. Oh Ruby. Why did you have to experience grief so young? “Yeah. It’s hard.” He wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “But that’s why we have to help each other. Be there for each other. Your parents aren’t going to get through this unless you and I help them out, okay?”
Ruby’s big brown eyes met his as she nodded solemnly. Easton rested his head on top of hers, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t the only one hurting. He wasn’t the only one who had lost a best friend.
And so he sat there with Ruby, the sharp wind running circles around them. But Easton had never felt so warm and safe in the past few weeks than he did by Ruby’s side. Even though she might not be able to express it, she understood. Maybe more than anyone else.
He gently stroked her shoulder with his thumb. They would make it through this. Somehow this emptiness in his heart would fill again. Maybe helping Ruby through this would give him purpose again.
He hugged her even tighter. He needed her more than he wanted to admit. And she needed him. So he sat there until Ruby slipped into his lap, her breathing slow and even. “I love you, Easton,” her little voice murmured. A smile curled his lips as he looked down on her sleeping face. He wasn’t sure if she was only talking in her sleep or had truly meant the words she had said, but they warmed his heart anyway. Gently scooping her into his arms, he brought her inside the house. He laid her on the couch and pulled a blanket over her. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, he whispered, “I love you too, Ruby.”
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
You’re welcome, and now that I’ve finished this next section here’s a few things. This was really strong, it’s great you’re making Easton and Hallie struggle with the fact that Tyler’s dead and not making them coming to terms with it instantaneous. It’s realistic, and you’re doing a good job at it. I think you could maybe delve into the despair a bit more, but other than that everything is good.
Poor Hallie, and that twist with Katrina was cool (she seriously reminds me of one of my characters XD). The scene at the end with Ruby and Easton was really sweet."And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc
I’m so annoyed with Hallie right now. I get where she’s coming from, but still. ? So Katrina’s parents died with Antonio’s…I did not expect that. It explains why she’s so opposed to God. I love that scene at the end with Easton and Ruby. It’s adorable.?
How could they sit here, eating Tyler’s favorite meal, without him eating with them, the center of the conversation.
You need a question mark at the end of this sentence.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
This was really strong, it’s great you’re making Easton and Hallie struggle with the fact that Tyler’s dead and not making them coming to terms with it instantaneous. It’s realistic, and you’re doing a good job at it. I think you could maybe delve into the despair a bit more, but other than that everything is good.
Thank you!
And I will note that!Poor Hallie, and that twist with Katrina was cool (she seriously reminds me of one of my characters XD). The scene at the end with Ruby and Easton was really sweet.
❤️
I’m so annoyed with Hallie right now. I get where she’s coming from, but still. ? So Katrina’s parents died with Antonio’s…I did not expect that. It explains why she’s so opposed to God. I love that scene at the end with Easton and Ruby. It’s adorable.?
Yeah, Katrina’s backstory actually wasn’t in the original draft, but I knew I needed her to have some sort of reason why she was acting the way she was, so that’s where my brainstorming led me! : )
Thank youuu ?
You need a question mark at the end of this sentence.
?
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
All I can say is…
THAT WAS SO GOOD
I actually love your book so much I think I’ve said this before but it’s actually my comfort book…I got so excited when I saw you posted MORE!
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)OMC GUYS GUYS GUYSSSSS
I FOUND A SONG FOR EASTONIt’s “Cars and Phones” by David Dunn
It almost made me cry but it’s perfect for himmmm
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)Girllll, you’re so sweetttt ? Thank you so much!! Your comments mean so much and are one of the reasons I keep on going with this book bc I know there will other people out there who will like it just as much ??❤️
OMC GUYS GUYS GUYSSSSS
I FOUND A SONG FOR EASTONIt’s “Cars and Phones” by David Dunn
It almost made me cry but it’s perfect for himmmm
*rushes to go listen to it*
?
SAR UH??? Noooo, it’s too perfectttt ?❤️
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@savannah_grace2009 @theducktator @grcr @smiley @keilah-h @theshadow
Ok guys… ? I know it’s a lot to read, but I’m dropping the last 6 chapters!! Enjoyyyy! And then give me alllll the feedback! I’m planning to finally start on the official third draft soon.
Chapter 27
Hallie rolled onto her back and let out a sigh, staring at the dark ceiling. She turned her head to look at the time glowing from her clock. Just seeing that it was past midnight made her feel even more exhausted.
Katrina’s story and what she believed played through Hallie’s head over and over again, examples and stories of Tyler’s faithfulness dispersed throughout. The pastor’s words about serving God and trusting His plan repeated like a broken record. And in intervals through it all pierced the image that had seared her memory those long months ago—the image of the two paths that led to different destinations.
Hallie couldn’t stand it any more. She threw off her covers and slid her cold feet into her slippers, tiptoeing down the stairs. A soft yellow light glowed from the family, sending Hallie’s heart beating faster. Footsteps creaked from below, coming towards the stairs. Hallie froze as the light switched off. She swallowed a scream as a figure appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
Mom. It was just Mom.
Hallie brushed her fingers through her hair as she tried to catch her breath. “You scared me half to death,” she whispered. She knew Mom had gone home with Mrs. Bailey to talk more after dinner, but she had no idea she had been out this late.
“Hallie? What are you doing up?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“It’s past midnight.”
“I know…”
“Is something wrong?”
Hallie sighed. All the emotions from the past week and even the past few months overflowed in her heart, spilling through her eyes in the form of silver tears. Mom met Hallie on the landing and gathered her into a hug, leading her back to the family room and switching the lamp back on.
Once Hallie had gotten a good cry out for a few minutes, she took a few deep breaths, finally pulling back and facing her mom.
“Is it Tyler?” Mom asked.
Hallie shrugged limply, sniffling. “I don’t even know any more.”
“What do you mean?”
“I promised something I never should have done. I ruined my friendships. And then Katrina started telling me all this stuff about God that I knew wasn’t true but I started to believe it anyway and I’m just so tired, and so exhausted, and so done.” She hated blubbering on and on, but she couldn’t help it. It all just spilled out, along with another round of tears.
Mom held her in her arms for a few more minutes. “Do we need to talk about it?”
Hallie nodded, slowly pulling away from the hug. She took a shaky deep breath. Sniffled a few times. “I’ve messed up so bad Mom.”
“And this has something to do with Katrina?” Concern sparkled in Mom’s blue eyes. Hallie hated to keep her up even later, but she needed to talk to someone about this.
For the next ten minutes she started from the beginning, telling Mom about her desire to get in with Katrina’s group and still keep her old friends. She told her how her plan fell apart and she started fitting in with Katrina’s friends a little too much. She told Mom about the promise to go to the party and stop associating with her Christian friends. Then she explained how Tyler dying only made things worse for her, and how Katrina had tried to convince her to leave God behind when they talked at the funeral.
When Hallie finally finished her story, she watched Mom expectantly. All she did was sit there for a moment, a thoughtful expression furrowing her features. Hallie hated the silence that followed her confession. She’d rather have her mom scold her, ground her, anything, instead of this agonizing silence. But the silence gave a chance for the guilt and regret to sink into her heart.
Finally Mom spoke. “What made you do that?”
“Wha— what?”
“What made you do that?” She repeated, meeting Hallie’s eyes.
“I… I wanted to prove…” Her gaze wandered the room. “I… don’t know.” She hung her head. What had she been trying to prove? “I guess that I was just as ‘cool’ or important as them. And it got way to far…” She bit her lip to hold back even more tears.
Mom scooted closer to Hallie on the couch and put an arm around her. “I made the same mistake.”
“What?” No way. Mom was perfect. She loved the Lord and spent all her time helping others. She was the most selfless person Hallie knew.
“Well, you know your dad and I met because we were both hippies.”
That little fact always brought a small smile to Hallie’s face. “Yes.”
“I chose the easy path of giving into peer pressure. To me, being accepted and on the same level as my peers, being popular and cool in the eyes of others, was what was worth my world. That was where I placed my identity. Hallie, I know that you know this isn’t only about Katrina, or that party, or even Patrick. It’s not about Tyler either.” She sighed and placed her hands on Hallie’s shoulders. “This is about where you place your identity. It’s about what’s worth the world to you. You know the two paths, Hallie, you know where they lead to. You’ve made your choice. It sounds like you chose to go the easy path and left God in the dust. But it’s not too late to change your mind. He’s waiting for you, you know.”
Hallie pondered Mom’s words for a moment. “But it’s not that easy…”
“I know.” Mom caught Hallie’s gaze. “Look at me. You know what to do. I’m sure you’ve known it for a while. Now it’s time to act on it. It’s going to be painful. It’s not going to be easy. You’ve heard the stories of how Tyler stood up for his faith. You know what happened to your science teacher. Or Antonio’s father.”
Hallie blinked a few times. “You knew about his dad?”
She nodded. “His mother shared that story during one of our Bible studies at church. He made a huge sacrifice because he knew that what he stood for was worth his life, if not more. Now it’s time for you to decide what’s worth your life… or in this case, what’s worth your reputation.”
Mom gave Hallie one more hug, placed a kiss on her cheek, and headed for the stairs. “Think about what I said. I’ll be praying for you. Make sure to get to bed soon.” And with that she disappeared up the stairway.
Hallie bit her lip and studied the design on the rug. Lately, she had been placing her worth in the acceptance of others. But what was so wrong with wanting to be liked by people?
She knew the answer to that question. She knew that she wasn’t supposed to seek the acceptance of those around her. Ever since her Sunday school days she had been told that life is about serving and pleasing God. It only matters what He thinks. She knew that deep down. But she had never let that surface these past few months.
She had told herself all along that she was doing this for God—once she gained a platform, she could use it to tell others about Jesus. But she also know all along that that wasn’t going to happen.
Antonio had been right. And Mom had said almost the exact same thing. This wasn’t about anything but what she had thought was worth her life, her world. And right now, she was regretting what she had chosen.
She had thought that popularity was worth her time, her energy, her friendships, and most importantly, her relationship with God. She had sacrificed good things for what she thought was better. Her mind went back to the time Tyler had shared a sandwich and the gospel with a homeless man on the street. People walking by thought he was weird. Crazy even. But Tyler wasn’t doing it for the attention. He was doing it for God.
Hallie felt the conviction in her gut. Tyler had made a difference through his life, and he wasn’t exactly the most popular guy at school. God has used him because he was willing. The last thing Hallie had been was willing. As soon as she had chosen the “easy” path, she had chosen to leave behind the friends and the Savior who would have walked the hard path with her, just like Tyler had been doing.
She couldn’t ignore it any longer. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she silently confessed her sin to the Lord. She felt his presence as she prayed on and on, knowing that He had forgiven her. She knew she could no longer go on this path that had looked so appealing, but had led to such destruction. She had to go to the narrow path, no matter how hard it was to get there.
Her life wasn’t worth temporary pleasure—acceptance, friends, a boyfriend, popularity. Tyler’s example had surely taught her that serving the Lord is what’s really worth it, proven by the legacy he had left behind. Hallie wanted to be like that—not caring about the opinions of others, but simply serving the Lord in the day to day.
But why was it so hard?
Katrina’s story came to the front of her mind. Her parents had served her faithfully and were killed. Same with Antonio’s dad. Mrs. Stanford had stood up for the truth, and she was fired.
A realization dawned on Hallie like a desert sunrise. Katrina had been partially right—serving God wasn’t all sunshine and roses. In fact, it could be difficult. But as Hallie reflected on those she looked up to the most, she realized that even though following God wasn’t always easy, it was always worth it.
It would cost Hallie to choose Jesus, but she weighed the cost in her head. It would still be worth it. She wanted to be like Mrs. Stanford, Antonio, and her parents—people who put God first and were able to live in peace because of it.
Along this whole roller coaster with Katrina, Hallie had never truly felt fulfilled. She had tried and tried to tell herself she was, but there was still an emptiness inside. She had been trying to fit everything else into a God-sized hole in her heart.
No longer could she carry on like this. Ignorant. Selfish. Lost. She had hurt herself, her friends, and her relationship with her Heavenly Father.
As she silently crept up the stairs and slipped underneath her covers, she had no doubt in her mind that God had forgiven her, but Jennifer and Antonio were another story. Even so, that still left Katrina to deal with. Hallie’s stomach tied up in knots at how backwards she had to go to get her life back on track again. But with another whispered prayer, a heavenly peace washed over her and she fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter 28
Easton opened the door to see Mrs. Bailey on the porch. She held a piece of notebook paper in her hand. Her face lit up when she saw Easton. He led her into the house, asking why she had come over.
“This.” She held out the paper. With a quick glance, Easton recognized Tyler’s handwriting.
He carefully grabbed it from her hands, as if it was a priceless artifact. “What is it?”
“Something I found in Tyler’s bag. I think he wrote it the night he…”
Easton nodded. She didn’t have to say it out loud.
She took in a deep breath. “I thought you should read it.”
Easton sat at the kitchen table. This was Tyler’s handwriting alright. But messier than usual and not as dark from a firm grip on the pen. He held back the tears as he began to read.
Hey God, it’s me.
It’s time, isn’t it? I can feel it. Easton didn’t want to believe it, but I know he knows it too. I’m ready, Lord. I just hope those I leave behind won’t be too sad. I hate it when people hurt. But I know that this is Your will. You let me get cancer for a reason, didn’t You? I think no matter what anyone tried to do, I’d still end up in this hospital bed, on the threshold of heaven.
Heaven… Oh Lord, I can’t wait. It’s going to be beautiful. You’re going to be glorious. I’m going to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” And that’s when I’ll know that everything I did for You on this earth was worth it. It wasn’t much, I know. But I hope You’re pleased. It was the best I could offer. You know I didn’t want to do it for myself. I pray You’re glorified through what I’ve done here.
Lord, You won’t believe it! Actually, You will, because this was all in Your plan. Just as I was writing that last paragraph, the doctor came in to talk to my parents. Then he told me that he started reading the Bible and going to church, even though Sundays are one of his few days off. Isn’t that great! He said it was because of me, but I know it was all because of You.
He also told me that he’d do everything he could to help me make it to the morning. It was nice of him I guess. But I know that You’re about to call me home. I’m ready, Father. I’ve run my course. It felt more like a sprint than a marathon, but I know that I tried my best to run it for You. Won’t be long until I can tell you all this face to face. Or will I be too busy singing praises?
I guess I’ll find out soon.
Take care of my parents and Ruby. And Easton too. Don’t let my dying break his faith. Strengthen him, Lord. Strengthen all of them. And maybe, just maybe, may my life leave some sort of legacy for them to follow. Even if it’s just a little bit.
Well, that’s all for now. See you soon, Father. Amen.
Easton looked up at Mrs. Bailey with tears in his eyes. His voice shook as he struggled to speak. “He… he wrote this?”
Mrs. Bailey nodded, silver tears sliding down her cheeks. “Yes. I remember seeing him write it, but he put it back in his bag and I forgot about it until now.”
Easton dropped the paper, running both hands through his dirty-blonde hair. “Tyler… Tyler…” he mumbled, over and over again. Mrs. Bailey sat beside him, resting a gentle hand on his back. He didn’t know what to do with all the emotions overflowing in his heart.
“He’s remarkable, isn’t he?” She said softly.
Easton nodded numbly. “Remarkable.” If what Tyler said was true, then maybe Easton couldn’t have done anything to stop God’s will. It was all too much for him to comprehend right now. He stood and thanked Mrs. Bailey for bringing it over. She told him to keep it for a little bit longer—they would only need it back to put on his table at graduation.
That night before bed, Easton read it over and over again, letting the words fill his heart until he had half of the letter memorized. And with the paper in his hands, he fell into a restless sleep.
***
Hallie dreaded Monday. The weekend breezed by too quickly, but the past couple of days she had been rehearsing exactly what she would say to Katrina. Yet as she stood by Katrina’s locker, any courage she had managed to gather this morning began to crumble away.
“Oh, hey, Hallie girl.” Katrina smiled and opened her locker, switching out some books.
“Katrina, we need to talk.”
“You’re right. But let’s save it for after school. I want to head to the mall to find a new outfit for Friday.” With that last word she shot Hallie a sideways glance, a small smirk curling her lips.
“That’s what I want to talk about.”
“Shopping?”
“No, the party.”
Katrina slowly closed her locker, cradling her books in the crook of her arm. “What about it?”
Hallie wet her lips and met Katrina’s eyes. “I’m not going.”
Her face immediately darkened. A short, harsh laugh escaped her lips. “I knew you’d give up.”
“Give up?”
“Yeah. I can’t believe I actually thought for a moment that you’d keep your promise. I tried to help you, but you’re just going to let yourself get hurt. Now what? You gonna go join those Jesus freaks around the flagpole?” Katrina laughed, starting down the hall.
“Wait, stop.” Hallie touched her arm but Katrina didn’t slow. “Please, just listen to me. I—”
Katrina whipped her head around, her silky locks falling across one shoulder. “What? If you’re going to identify as a Jesus freak, then leave me alone. You’re one of them now, not us.”
Tears sprung to Hallie’s eyes, but she straightened her posture and pressed on. “Good. I’m done with this whole game I’ve played with you. Because of the choices I’ve made, my relationships with my friends and the Lord have suffered. It’s not fair for me to disassociate with my true friends just because I want popularity.
“This whole status you’ve tried to give me is not what’s worth my time, or my energy, or my friendships. I know what’s really worth my world and it’s so much better than this.”
Katrina smirked. “And what is that?”
“The Lord.”
“Hallie, we’ve already gone over this. Trusting Him will get you nowhere. You’re only going to get hurt.”
“I’m serious.” Hallie didn’t break eye contact. “You saw Tyler’s life and you can’t deny that the stance he took for the Lord impacted the lives of those around him. Even if it didn’t, God was pleased. And you know those ‘Jesus freaks’ that meet at the flagpole, well almost half of them are from Mrs. Stanford’s class. I don’t know about you, but isn’t losing a job worth the spiritual lives of twenty students?” Hallie knew none of this was what she had rehearsed, but it felt good to speak what the Lord had been trying to teach her over the past months but what she had refused to listen to.
Katrina took a couple steps back, as if disgusted by Hallie’s mere presence. “Fine. If you want to believe that. Jesus isn’t going to get you anywhere in life, Hallie girl. I could get you somewhere, and you know it. I don’t know what made you toss everything that I gave you out the window. You’re going to regret it.”
Hallie shrugged one shoulder, the boldness only getting stronger. “I don’t think I will.”
Katrina narrowed her eyes. She wanted to say something else. As intimidating as Hallie wanted to look, she also wanted Katrina to understand her point of view. She softened her expression, urging Katrina to go on.
“Hallie, I was looking for you.” Patrick came up from behind and gave her a quick side hug. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Hallie suddenly wasn’t a fan of his hugging her, unlike she was last week. She took a small step away from him. “What is it?” She watched Katrina out of the corner of her eye.
Patrick followed her gaze, but quickly snapped his attention back on her. That boyish grin of his lit up his face. “What would you say to being my girlfriend?”
Hallie hated the confident smirk that Katrina wore. Her eyebrows raised slightly, daring Hallie to say no. Hallie took a silent deep breath and slowly looked up at Patrick. She knew what she should say… but it wasn’t going to be easy, especially with Katrina right there. “Patrick…?”
His smile faltered.
“I really appreciate it. In fact, I’m flattered, but…” She ignored the way Katrina’s eyes widened in shock. “I don’t think that’s the best thing for me right now.” Like a ticking bomb, she waited for her words to destroy any fragment of approval from Katrina that still remained.
Patrick opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if trying to say something, but not fully able to. Hallie barely noticed the glare he sent in Katrina’s direction as he left them in long strides, pushing a hand through his hair.
Katrina let out a surprised laugh. “You seriously didn’t just do that.”
Hallie offered a sorry-not-sorry smile. “I actually just did.”
“That’s it. I’m done, Hallie. I’ve tried to help you, but now you’re going to get hurt. You’re hopeless, completely hopeless.” Katrina swept away, the students in her way clearing as she marched by.
Hallie let out a breath. “Actually, I’ve got more hope than you would believe,” she murmured under her breath. There was one conversation taken care of. Hallie knew Katrina wouldn’t be speaking to her for the rest of the school year, maybe not for the rest of her life. But right now, Hallie was okay with that. Maybe once Katrina cooled down Hallie would have time to explain completely her point of view on the whole matter.
She replayed the conversation over in her head on her way to class, wondering if she should have handled it differently. But what was said had been said. Even if she didn’t do it the most eloquently or sensitively, it got the job done, and it felt as if a burden had been lifted off her heart—a burden she should never have been carrying.
With her eyes glued to the ground, deep in thought, she hadn’t been paying attention when she bumped shoulders with someone. “Oh, I’m so sor—” She smiled gently. “Antonio…”
“Hallie…” Antonio said, mocking her tone. He laughed. “Did you forget I go to this school too?”
Although he was joking, Hallie sensed the underlying hurt in his voice. She erased her smile. “I’m so sorry.”
Antonio’s smile softened. “You only bumped into me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know…” he took a deep breath, scanning the hallway quickly, then finally letting his gaze meet hers. “I forgive you.”
Hallie wasn’t expecting the tears that blurred her vision. “I’m so so sorry. I totally ignored you and pretended you didn’t exist and treated you like dirt and—”
“Hallie.” Antonio placed his hands on her shoulders. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”
She tilted her head, sniffling.
“I forgive you.” He repeated his statement, ingraining that moment into Hallie’s memory forever.
She smiled. “Thank you.”
Antonio gently wiped away one of her tears with his thumb. “Please don’t cry. I like it much better when I can see your eyes sparkle naturally.”
Chapter 29
Hallie felt much lighter as the day wore on. She fell into her rhythm of friendship with Antonio right away, and he acted like nothing had ever severed their friendship. But Hallie hadn’t seen Jennifer all day. She knew she needed to talk to her as soon as possible. Jen could be more sensitive about these types of things. Hallie knew she had hurt her and needed to see her eyes and apologize.
And Patrick… that was a whole other story. The way he had glared at Katrina briefly as he left made Hallie curious. They also needed to talk. Over the past few months they had gone out a few times, but Hallie knew their relationship wasn’t really going anywhere. So his question seemed unexpected. She didn’t regret her answer though.
The whole school day went by without Hallie seeing Jen or Patrick again. At lunch Hallie went back to sitting with their normal group, enduring Javier’s jokes about abandonment. He clearly didn’t need an apology. By the way he joked with her, Hallie knew all was forgiven. Autumn also seemed to understand. She gave Hallie a warm smile when she joined their table and a look that meant there was no need to apologize.
Hallie couldn’t have been more grateful for friends like this. These were her true friends. These were the people who were worth her time and commitment. Not that Katrina wasn’t just as worth it, but their friendship was based on status and popularity. Hallie made a mental note to start praying for her.
After the emotional roller coaster of a day she had, she thought she’d be exhausted when she got home, but she talked more than she had been lately at the dinner table and felt like she had a spring in her step. It felt good to make things right again in her relationships.
After loading the dishwasher, she hurried upstairs and dialed Jen’s number on the wireless phone, hoping her bedroom would give her some privacy.
“Hello?” A young boy’s voice answered.
“Hey, Luke. This is Hallie. Can I talk to Jen?”
“She’s in her room.”
“Ok. Just hand her the phone then.”
“Jenny, it’s for you!” Luke yelled.
Hallie held back a chuckle.
“Hello?” Jen’s voice came on the line.
“Jen, it’s Hallie. Don’t hang up on me, okay?”
There was a pause. “Okay…” She finally answered.
“We need to talk. Were you at school today?”
“No, I had a fever this morning.” Her voice still carried a hint of suspicion.
“And you’re still at home?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Don’t move. I’ll be right over.” She hung up before Jen could protest and hurried down the stairs, throwing on a coat and slipping on her shoes. “Easton! Can you give me a ride?”
He peeked his head out from the living room. “Where?”
“To Jennifer’s house. Please?”
“Sure.” Something was off in Easton’s tone and expression, but Hallie didn’t have time to worry about that now.
“Mom, can I go to Jen’s house? I’ll be home by eight.”
Mom met her eyes, understanding the situation. “Alright. Your curfew is nine if you need it.”
Hallie smiled, giving her mom a quick hug. She grabbed a Sprite from the fridge and ran out to Easton’s car.
Within a few minutes, she stood on Jen’s doorstep, knocking on the door as Easton drove back home.
Her dad answered, his brow furrowed. “Hallie? Jennifer didn’t say you were coming over. She’s not feeling great right now.”
“Ah, well, a cold never hurt anybody.” Hallie forced a small laugh as she stepped into the familiar home. “Is she in her room?”
Her dad nodded as he closed the door. Hallie hurried up the stairs, not bothering to take off her shoes or her coat. She knocked on Jen’s closed door, hoping for the best.
“Come in.”
Hallie slowly opened the door, managing a small smile.
Jen didn’t make eye contact. “You actually came?”
“I told you I was coming.”
“I didn’t know you had time for Jesus freaks any more.”
Hallie bit her lip, holding back tears. “I brought something for you.” She held out the can of Sprite.
Jen smirked. “Mom didn’t catch you sneaking this in, did she?” She accepted the gift and popped the can open. “She’s only been giving me this disgusting herbal drink that’s supposed to help me get better, but I swear it’s only made me feel worse.” She made a face, then took a sip.
Hallie laughed as Jen melted into the pillow propped up behind her with a sigh of satisfaction.
“This is so much better.”
Hallie waited a moment, then took a deep breath. “I came to apologize.”
Jen met her eyes, but didn’t say anything.
“I was wrong to ignore you and push you aside just because I wanted to be popular. I had friendships that I shouldn’t have… if they could even be called friendships.” She played with her fingers. “I let my own selfish desires ruin our relationship and I’m so sorry. Especially after Tyler…” She sighed. “I know you needed me so much then… I’m done ignoring the Lord and ignoring you. You don’t have to forgive me. I understand I hurt you. I just thought you should know that I’m done with the whole popularity thing. It only brought about bad things for me. It’s not worth it.” She gave a small smile and dropped her gaze to the floor.
The silence was agonizing, waiting for Jen to say or do something… anything…
“Was the Sprite your peace offering?”
Hallie half-smiled, looking up. “I guess so.”
“Well, it did its job.” Jen set it down and climbed out of bed, placing herself right in front of Hallie. “I forgive you.”
Hallie smiled, feeling another round of tears coming on as Jen pulled her into a hug. “Don’t get me sick, okay?” She said through a watery laugh.
“Don’t get me all emotional either,” Jen said, also laughing. “If you cry, I’m going to start crying and it will only make my cold worse.”
Hallie pulled back, unable to stop smiling. “You won’t believe what Antonio said when I started getting all emotional after apologizing to him.”
“What?”
“He said, and I quote, ‘Please don’t cry. I like it much better when I can see your eyes sparkle naturally.’”
The two renewed friends let out silent squeals. “You’re kidding!”
“No!”
Jen’s wide smile slowly faded. “What about Patrick?”
Hallie sighed. “I need to talk to him.”
“Well…” Jen shrugged. “Let’s not worry about that now. We need to catch up.”
Hallie smiled. “Yes, we do.”
Chapter 30
Easton crossed off one more day on his calendar. When would that letter arrive? He was supposed to receive the letter saying whether he won the scholarship or not this week. And it was Thursday night already. He slept restlessly that night, hoping and praying that he’d win the scholarship. He didn’t just want to—he had too. He had started setting aside money for college last year, but it was barely enough to afford one semester studying the degree he wanted at the college he had his eye on.
He needed this scholarship. More than anything else. If he didn’t get to become the doctor he had been dreaming of becoming, then he had no other plans for his future.
He awoke Friday morning, not feeling like eating breakfast. All day at school he felt anxious and on edge. He rushed home as soon as school was out and bursted into the house to see Mom flipping through the mail on the counter. She turned to face him, waving an envelope with University of Albuquerque written in the return address.
Easton slowly grabbed it out of her hands. Now that it came down to it, he felt ridiculously nervous. The only question running through his mind as he carefully ripped open the envelope was—What if they say no?
He unfolded the letter, swallowing the excitement in his chest.
Easton Woodbury,
We regret to inform you that
Easton’s throat choked up. He dropped the letter on the counter, collapsing into a chair by the table. He dropped his forehead into his hand, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back tears.
Mom picked up the letter, quickly scanning it over, then wrapped her arms around Easton. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out, I promise.”
“No,” Easton murmured. “I give up.”
Mom pulled back and lifted his chin to meet his eyes. “Excuse me?”
He gave a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“This doesn’t sound like my son.”
“What’s the verdict?” Dad asked, as he walked in through the front door. “The letter did come, right?” His cheery tone in his voice immediately disappeared as soon as he saw Easton. “Easton?”
He slowly shook his head. “I didn’t win.” He hung his head again.
It was silent for a moment, then Dad pulled up a chair across from Easton and planted his elbows on his knees, folding his hands. “Look at me.”
“Dad, no, I—”
“Hey, listen. You lost. Big deal. It’s okay to be disappointed, but you can’t mope around like this for your entire life. You’re a man, Easton. A Woodbury. And we don’t just give up.”
“This was my only chance for getting the degree I wanted.”
“You sure? You can work for it. Take a gap year. Knock some general ed courses out of the way at the community college.”
“You don’t get it,” Easton mumbled.
Dad raised his eyebrows. “I don’t? I think I get it. You’re moping around because you pinned all your hopes on this one scholarship. I get it, you’re disappointed. And it’s okay to be sad for a little bit. But what I’m seeing right now is a man who’s giving up without even trying again.”
Easton let Dad’s words sink in. They hit their mark. He slowly stood, then looked down to meet Dad’s eyes. “Okay.” And he disappeared to his bedroom. He needed time to think this over alone.
But his wild thoughts couldn’t find a place to safely land in a brain filled with calculus, physics, and world history. Even though he wasn’t sure what was going to happen after he graduated, he still had to graduate nonetheless. He managed to put on a nonchalant facade the rest of the evening so the others wouldn’t know how deeply he was disappointed.
Come that night in bed, he couldn’t sleep. A million thoughts ran through his head, keeping him wide awake. One of them particularly marched through his mind again and again—I can’t change the world.
He had tried first with Tyler. Imagine the stories he could have told if Tyler had only recovered. The fight for his life was what gave Easton purpose. Then… he was gone.
Then it was the scholarship. If he couldn’t save Tyler, then he would try to save the millions more affected by cancer. He would find a better treatment. Or even a complete cure. But no. The university had rejected him. Now it would take much longer to get to college and study what he wanted to study.
Why was he not good enough?
He had tried so hard to achieve his goals but every time he had fallen short. Would he ever be good enough?
His spiraling thoughts paused there.
That was it. That was the question, the thought, that had stayed in the shadows this whole time. He was doing this all for himself. He wanted to prove that he was good enough. That he could change the world. He wanted to find purpose in his achievements.
Regret clouded his heart. He threw off the covers, needing to clear his head with fresh air. Without bothering to grab shoes, he slipped outside in the desert night.
He was done. Done trying. Done fighting.
Easton let the crisp night air dry the tears that had escaped and cool his face. He had failed to save Tyler, failed to reach his dreams…
“I’m done,” he whispered into the dark desert. He looked up at the star-scattered sky. “I’m done.”
He dropped to his knees in the cool sand. “Just take over. I can’t do this anymore.” A breeze blew by, ruffling his hair. He wiped away a stray tear. “I don’t even know what I was trying to achieve.”
Easton knew he was loved and appreciated by his friends and family, but deep down, there was still a portion of his heart that hadn’t been filled. And he had tried so hard to fill that hole that he had ignored the One who could truly fill it.
The realization brought a sinking feeling. He knew God had been trying to get his attention this whole time. He had heard the proddings, the whispers, the convictions, but he had ignored them and pushed ahead, keeping only his goals and desires in front, leaving God behind.
How could he be so ignorant?
What if he had let God work through him?
What if he had focused on what God wanted him to do?
What if—
I am sufficient.
The words slashed through Easton’s thoughts like a blade of light, shattering his darkness. He wasn’t even sure if the voice had been audible, but he was certain he had heard it, whether in his ears or his heart.
Christ was sufficient.
God was the One who gave him purpose. All the things he had been trying to do weren’t enough because he had left God out of it. God wanted him to let go and focus on the present and what he could do to influence the lives of those around him.
He didn’t have to save the whole world. He didn’t even have to fix his own little world.
That wasn’t his job.
No, all he had to do was let God work through him to change somebody’s world. To change someone’s view of the world. To give him purpose.
Just like Tyler.
This enlightenment lifted an invisible burden off of Easton’s heart. The world no longer lay on his shoulders. He had a God who would take care of that. God wanted him to focus on his world, no matter how small it might be.
Because God could use five loaves and two fish to feed a multitude.
In a reverent movement of worship, Easton lifted his hands toward the endless sky, offering his life over to God. Only He could do something amazing with it. Easton couldn’t do it on his own. He poured out his heart to his Savior, releasing the burdens that had plagued his heart for the past few years.
He had no idea how long he kneeled there, his hands lifted, his heart bent in a posture of humble worship, but as he stood, he felt like he could dance.
His life was far from perfect, and it might always be that way. But he knew that God could use a broken vessel like him to change someone’s world.
He no longer had to scurry about, trying to find some satisfying purpose.
No…
Because God was his purpose.
God was worth his world.
Chapter 31
Hallie took a silent deep breath and tapped Patrick on the shoulder. He turned around, his brow immediately furrowing.
“Oh, hi.”
“I think we need to talk.”
Patrick’s expression softened. “Yeah, we do.”
Hallie glanced at the clock that hung in the hallway. Ten minutes until first bell. Hopefully that would be enough time.
“I want—” “Hallie, I—”
They laughed after speaking at the same time.
“You first,” Hallie said.
Patrick tousled the curls that just barely brushed his forehead. “I need to apologize.”
“You’re not the only one,” Hallie murmured.
“You know how I asked you that question the other day?”
She nodded.
“No offense but… I didn’t really mean it.” Suddenly Patrick had trouble keeping eye contact and Hallie thought she saw a tinge of pink underneath his spattering of freckles. “I was just doing what Katrina said.” He bit his lower lip and waited for Hallie’s response.
She tilted her head. “Really?”
He nodded. “I enjoyed our friendship where it was at. But she kept pushing me to make it something more than that. So with her pressure stacked on top of my friends backing her up, I decided to ask you. I know it was stupid. It only made things worse, didn’t it?”
Hallie wasn’t sure how to take this news. She couldn’t believe that one of the most popular guys in school could succumb to peer pressure like that. But as Hallie had learned recently, it could happen to anyone.
She ran through a thousand different responses, finally landing a simple one that wouldn’t bring this conversation downhill. “Why?”
He sighed, cocking his head. “I thought she was right, ya know? Maybe if we went out it would look good on my part or help you out… I don’t know. I like you, I really do, but I wasn’t sincerely asking that question. I’m sorry.” With the way his hair stuck out from the wind coming into school and his eyebrows scrunched over his bright blue eyes, he looked like a little boy apologizing for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.
Hallie gave him a small smile. “I forgive you.”
“You— You do?” His repentant look turned to one of confusion. “Wow…” he pushed a hand through his hair and held it there halfway through. “Really? All the other girls I know would have never spoken to me again. I was seriously a jerk.”
“Jerks are still forgivable.” Hallie said with a laugh. “I have to apologize too though. I was taking advantage of your interest in me. I was using it to bring myself attention. It wasn’t worth it. I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you too.” Patrick said without missing a beat, a confident smile on his face. “It seems like we both made some… unsmart decisions.”
“It’s okay, you can say stupid. I won’t be offended.” Hallie smirked.
“I have to ask though… Now what?”
Hallie sighed. “I don’t know. I’m done trying to fit in with Katrina’s crowd. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll stick with the Jesus freaks.” She smiled. “What about you?”
Patrick bit his lip, thinking for a moment. “Is that what made you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Did the whole Jesus thing make you quit hanging with the popular kids?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I guess so. I noticed that compromising my faith and losing my true friends wasn’t worth the status title. It was all really stupid.”
“Yeah… Well, I’m kind of interested in Jesus and all that. If He helped you forgive me and apologize like that, I want to see what else He can do.”
If only you knew… Hallie flashed him a broad smile. “How about you come to church with my family on Sunday?”
“Will they be okay with that?”
“Totally.”
“Ok,” he took a deep breath, adjusting to the idea. “I guess I will then. And we’re still friends right? Because you’re pretty cool.”
Hallie laughed. “Totally.”
Sunday was great. Patrick rode to church with them that morning and Hallie’s family loved him. After watching him interact with her parents and siblings, she noticed how well she didn’t know him. He acted different at school. It seemed like here, in a place he knew he wouldn’t be judged, he let his true self emerge, and Hallie really liked that. Patrick had a lot of questions after the service, so their whole family went out to lunch to discuss them all.
The next week at school went just as great. Patrick had started hanging out with their friend group the week prior and even joined in the prayer time around the flagpole, which Hallie decided never to miss again.
By the end of the week, Hallie realized how grateful she was for her true friends, the ones who encouraged her to strive for what was worth anything in the world. It wasn’t necessarily easy to walk down the halls and receive looks of disdain from people who once looked at her status with jealousy. But Hallie knew it was worth it. She knew the Lord was pleased with her decision.
And that was all that really mattered.
She also realized that she may never have the answers to some of the questions that had plagued her heart lately. Like why would God let Tyler die? Or Antonio’s dad or Katrina’s parents? But she did know one thing. That God still loved her and accepted her. And he still loved Tyler’s family, Antonio’s family, and even Katrina. That’s why He was worth following one hundred percent. He never gave up on her, even when she gave up on Him.
No longer did she care about the jealous stares, or now, the confused, judgmental ones. All she tried to care about was what Jesus thought. And if He was pleased, then she was content.
Chapter 32
Easton couldn’t have felt lighter those next few weeks. Even with the stress of the school year coming to a close and his having to figure out his future weighing down on him, he refused to worry about it or get so caught up in it that he would forget the things that were really important.
The rest of the school year sped by. Prom was nostalgic and a bit emotional for Easton as he remembered the moment at homecoming when Tyler had finally spilled his news. But it was a good night nonetheless, especially after seeing the school unanimously crown Tyler honorary prom king. After the dance Easton and Autumn joined some other friends at a McDonald’s down the road.
But instead of sitting with them, they sat at their own private table. Easton told her about all that had gone on in his heart the past few weeks and how the Lord had slowly been adjusting his focus and his desires.
Autumn just smiled softly at him the whole time, eventually saying, “God’s going to use you for great things, Easton Woodbury.” And that sent a little extra zing through Easton’s heart. Autumn was never wrong.
The hardest part of the school year was preparing for finals. All through high school Easton and Tyler had spent many late nights studying, fueled by snacks made by either of their mothers. Or at least they had said they were studying but were really playing video games or getting distracted. This year, Easton had no one to get distracted or study with. He found his mind wandering into a land of what-ifs every time that deep sadness started to creep back in.
He had thought that maybe after a few months the pain would go away, but he had a feeling that a little piece of himself had left when Tyler died. Tyler had been his best friend before either of them could walk. They had grown up together—watched each other’s failed attempts at flirting with girls together—got their first job together—got in trouble together…
Although Easton’s grief was still painful, he decided to consider Tyler’s passing as only the pause button on their relationship. One day they’d see each other again, but Easton had a feeling at that point he wouldn’t care as much because he’d be too enraptured by the sight of his Savior in heaven. Those thoughts were the ones that brought happy tears to his eyes.
Almost harder than studying alone that year was graduation. It was an event they had talked about for the past few years, getting excited for as it got closer. He was the valedictorian of his class and was required to give a speech to the graduating class and everyone in attendance. He had spent a lot of time considering what to put in it, but finally decided on something a little bold, but also meaningful.
He spoke from his heart about what he had learned concerning purpose in life and what you should be pursuing. He used Tyler as an example, telling the crowd what Tyler wanted to be remembered for—his Savior. He told them how Tyler was at peace when he died because he knew he had lived a life for the Lord.
Easton challenged his fellow students to consider what their purpose was in life. What or who did they live for? And ultimately, was it worth living for?
He spoke about how he hadn’t won the scholarship, but how that had helped redirect his focus to what really mattered. He knew that his speech he had crafted, a speech written from his heart, would make more of an impact than that essay he wrote for the scholarship contest ever could. It was because he knew it was what the Lord wanted him to do.
Tears pricked the corners of his eyes when he saw the dedication and memorial of Tyler written in the program of the graduation ceremony. He smiled, looking down at the photo. “I told them, Tyler,” he whispered so that only he could hear. “I’ll try to do the same thing with my life, okay? Can’t let you beat me in that, you jerk.”
“Who are you talking to?” Cody asked, giving the end of Easton’s robe a tug.
“Nobody.” Easton picked Cody up. “What’d you think of the ceremony?” He watched all the graduates and their family and friends talking, laughing, and taking pictures throughout the gym.
“It was boring. I think it would have been more fun with Tyler though. He would have done something funny.”
Easton laughed and ruffled Cody’s hair. “You’re right. He would have made it more fun, wouldn’t he?”
“Excuse me, you’re Easton Woodbury, right?”
Easton set down Cody and faced the two well-dressed men who had approached their family. “Yes.”
“I’m the assistant dean of the University of Albuquerque and this is the present of the Albuquerque School of Medicine.” He nodded towards the other man who stood by his side.
Easton exchanged a quick glance with his parents.
“We heard your speech today and wanted to offer a different scholarship to you.”
“You don’t have to, really. Whoever won the other scholarship won it fair and square.”
“And so will you win this one.” The dean smiled and handed Easton an envelope from his suit jacket. “If you’re still considering our institution to further your education, we’d like to offer you your first year free. That speech you made up there was special. You’ve got a great life ahead of you with that mindset.”
Easton accepted the envelope slowly, not caring that his eyes were wide or his mouth open. “I can’t— Are you— Really?”
The man laughed. “Yes, really.”
Easton flicked his glasses up, pushed a hand through his hair, spun around to make sure his family had seen what had just happened, then laughed. “I can’t believe it.”
“You can think it over if you want—”
“No, no. I’m sure. I want to go here. I don’t know what to say… Thank you.” He shook both the men’s hands.
They said they’d keep in touch with more details and said their contact information was in the envelope. “You’re going to do great things, Easton Woodbury.”
Easton smiled as the men turned to leave. That was similar to what Autumn had said. “Actually—” As he spoke up, the men faced him again. “I think God’s going to do great things through me.” He flashed them a confident smile.
The two men exchanged slightly confused glances, but gave Easton a parting nod. He turned back to his family, knowing his smile was huge. “Wow.”
Dad laughed. “Yeah. Wow.”
***
Hallie smiled. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
It was the last day of school, and just like on the first week of school, they went out to the desert for their traditional bonfire.
“My marshmallow’s on fire!” “You have to roast it slowly.” “I still think they should let sophomores go to prom.” “Next time they should hire a DJ for after the graduation ceremony.” “It’s not a party, Javier.”
Hallie caught bits and pieces of the conversations swirling around her. She wanted to remember this night forever. The deep scent of the smoke; the soothing crackling of the fire; the way the wind played with loose strands of her hair; the never-ending sky full of stars above her; and most importantly, the smiling, contended faces of the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
“What are you thinking about?” Easton sat beside her and she scooted over to make more room on the blanket.
“Everything.”
Easton followed her gaze around their group. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
After a pause, Hallie sighed. “I just wish Tyler was here.”
When Easton finally faced her, his eyes sparkled in the dancing glow from the fire. “Are you trying to make me cry?”
Hallie laughed away her own tears and gave him a quick hug. “It’s okay. We all miss him.”
“If only he knew what he did to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“The way he lived his life helped remind me how I should be living mine.” The letter Tyler had written burned in Easton’s memory, a tangible example of his legacy.
Hallie scoffed. “Tell me about it.”
Easton furrowed his brow. “What?”
“Yours wasn’t the only life he helped change.”
Easton smiled and nudged Hallie with his shoulder. “Purpose, right?”
She thought about it for a moment. “I suppose so. Maybe more like… identity.”
“Hm.” Easton redirected his gaze back to the fire.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Are you nervous about college and all that?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe a little worried about how I’m going to pay for the other years, but the Lord will help me figure it out.”
Hallie nodded. “Is it weird that I’m a little nervous about the rest of high school?”
“Why? You’ve made it halfway so far!”
“Yeah, but I didn’t exactly make the best choices this year.”
Easton gave her the look their father always did—his glasses almost on the end of his nose, his eyebrows raised, the corner of his mouth turned up in a little smile. “Hallie. That’s in the past. I did the same thing. But look at what you’ve got ahead of you.” He motioned towards their friends. “And look at the change the Lord’s made in your heart. You’re going to have a blast the rest of high school, I guarantee it.”
“I’m gonna miss not having you around.”
“Give me a break, you’re gonna love it.”
Hallie laughed. “Stop. I really am.”
“Sure, sure. You’re just saying that to make me feel bad.”
“I am not!” Hallie shot to her feet.
Easton stood too, looking down at her, a goofy, brotherly smile on his face.
“Don’t give me that look, Easton James Woodbury.”
“What look?”
“Is Easton being mean again?” Autumn said, watching their standoff.
“Yes, someone beat him up.” Hallie crossed her arms, pretending to be mad.
Javier took that as his cue and grabbed a handful of marshmallows, chucking them right at Easton’s face. Easton dropped his jaw in shock, but quickly retaliated. Before she knew it, Hallie found herself in the middle of a marshmallow fight with all the others.
She laughed and laughed that night. She looked around at everyone else—Easton, Autumn, Javier, Danielle, Jennifer, Antonio, and Patrick. Yes, they were so worth it. Choosing Jesus was worth it.
Hallie couldn’t wait to see what else God was going to do. She knew that no matter what He did through her, she’d follow Him to the ends of the earth—because He was worth all the world.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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