Top Ten Things never to do…

[Elfwing]

ooookay people I wrote this this morning and wanna see what you guys think!!

@gracie-j @devastate-lasting @not-so-secret-secret-assassin @keilah-h @abigail-m @lydia-s @milena @zatara @will_starke

@anyone-else-you-guys-wanna-tag

 

Top 10 reasons why to NEVER EVER let your fantasy character leave their world to visit earth.

* These are personal observations. I will not be responsible for injuries caused by taking action after reading this. Use or ignore at own risk.

1: Modern technology meets ignorance. Can you imagine someone who’s never seen anything more explosive than a sword getting their hands on fireworks? Yeah… I know what you’re thinking, boys, but it’s bad idea.

2: you’ll break hearts. If you as the writer have fallen in love with the. Girls; imagine how the girls will feel seeing that strapping young man with gigantic muscles strolling down the street with you. Guys… I’d assume your girl characters are pretty… but yeah, it’s better just to not do it. Or get a car with shaded glass when your characters visit.

3: Hide your car. If they meet this monster they will be in shock horror that you are sheltering the evil brute. (In their defence, the headlights and grill do make an evil grin.)

4: They’ll break the television trying to kill Smaug or Toothless, and if it survives that, they will likely criticize every hero in your favourite movies for their lack of actual fighting skills. Well— they’ll criticize everything. Buy earplugs.

5: Turn off Siri, Alexa, or any other nonhuman thing that can speak. It won’t last five seconds if it talks back.

6: They will tear the grocery store apart trying to find a decent meal and try to barter with the cashier once they do find something tolerable. This could take a long time. If it does, use this time pack up and move.

7: They’d probably try to overthrow the government.

8: If you can’t find them, they’re probably upping your water bill by using the shower for an hour and a half (trust me, they need it along with a whole bottle of Pears soap).

9: The sprayer hose for your sink once discovered to be a snake, will be no more.

10: Introduce them to sugar and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Elfwing]

Gonna tag some more people

@kathleenramm @seekjustice @akbaer @maryg3 @elanor @precious-y

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Elfwing.

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Linyang Zhang]

@elfwing Beautiful. Too bad mine already have. Several times. On a day-today basis.

Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days

[Elfwing]

@devastate-lasting

Same here. No wonder the world is in such chaos. Did they try to overthrow the government or destroy the television? Or both? Hehe

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Elfwing.

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Keilah H.]

Ha ha! Hilarious! Unfortunately my dragonpeople characters have already experienced the real world, but they surprisingly didn’t do anything wrong (just looked at some knives and computers and accidentally dented someone’s car). It was their enemy chasing them that caused most of the havoc. (Like the time there was a traffic jam because one of the dragons got ejected and then hit by a car. Don’t worry, he survived.)

Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

[Linyang Zhang]

@elfwing Perhaps, perhaps. Heh.

Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days

[Elfwing]

@keilah-h lol well that’s good. Mine managed to get ahold of Roman candles and cream canisters and make a general mess, as well as break hearts, DESTROY my sink sprayer, almost annihilate my laptop when I was watching the Hobbit and Smaug showed up, cost me a very pretty penny in water and soap, and of course, naturally challenged Siri to a duel due to her ridiculous answers.

@devastate-lasting idk what to say to that… Not that mine behave much better… XD

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Elfwing]

@keilah-h glad the dragon survived… the explanation would have been difficult otherwise… 😂😂

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Tristan S.]

@elfwing

Haha this was great! I love it! But I wonder, do you have rules for the reverse happening? 🙂

[Elfwing]

@zatara well, hehe *cracks knuckles *  That summarizes the idea of my next novel. Into worlds of fantasy but their characters can’t come back with me lol

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Elanor]

@elfwing

I love this. It’s great.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

[Lydia S.]

@elfwing

lol This is awesome! XD

[Keilah H.]

Top ten reasons never to let dragonmen or any kind of alien/talking animal/non-human sentient character into a human city…..

1. They are likely to dent people’s cars.
2. They are going to wreck your house if it has a low ceiling.
3. They’re going to gut your pantry. Meaning, they will eat everything in there and still be hungry. They may or may not be terrified of the refrigerator, however, which could work out in your advantage.
4. They will try to pay people for all this damage using the currency from their universe. This will cause one of two things: The money will be considered useless, or whoever is given it will think they’re rich and only ask for one coin or bill.
5. Depending on what type of creature they are, they may spend hours looking in a store at something and cause you to either leave them behind or miss an important appointment or something. My dragon friends were interested in knives, guns, and computers. (They’re soldiers back in their world, so…..) But remember, never leave fictional characters unattended.
6. Most creatures, even dragons, aren’t a big fan of traffic intersections. One dragon was run over. He recovered, but guess who had to pay the hospital bill. (Actually, the dragons did, but in your case your creatures might not.)
7. They might not do anything wrong, but beware of their enemies following them. Your town may become the site of a ferocious battle. (You may ignore this rule if you really, really want to see your town’s name in the history books.)
8. They may try to alter their story while you’re writing it. Say one character learns he’s going to die. He could do a few things: have a temper tantrum until you change it (if you have dragon characters, this could lead to your room being scorched); he might hide in the closet and weep for hours; he might replace your well written sentence with things like “gbgbebyghuryebenvujd” and “ftulftdryijgfdfhyewyindeh,” even if he knows how to spell; or he might steal the computer and fascinate himself with taking it apart. That last one, thankfully, hasn’t happened to me yet.
9. They will either love or hate stuff like Alexa or Siri, like @elfwing said. I have neither, but I don’t know if you do. The dragonpeople who visited my world were out of a Star Wars fanfic, so they were used to droids and such talking, but they were still rather enchanted by an Amazon echo dot (an Alexa) in a local store. (It didn’t help that one of the dragons is named Echo. Now the others call on him to turn on the lights and stuff.) Your characters might have a more angry or afraid reaction, depending on whether they come from a modern world like ours, a futuristic world, or a world with less or no advanced technology (such as a medieval or ancient time period.)
10. They will probably yell at the TV, no matter what. Your fanfiction characters, if you have any fanfics, may have an especially hard time seeing themselves doing something not particularly nice (like being caught in an explosion but surviving) all over again, or something they never did in your stories but did in the original. Death scenes, especially of the character you are lodging or one of their friends, will not be well taken. Make sure the remote is well protected, from being thrown at the actual television or from being used to flip through random TV channels. Also make sure your techy characters don’t take the television or remote apart to study.

Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

[Elanor]

@keilah-h

That’s great. Love it.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

[Elfwing]

@lydia-s thanks!! it was fun to do 😉

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

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