Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Tips, tricks, descriptions and new words!
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February 25, 2023 at 11:37 am #134553
Another word that just popped into my head is “Somnambulism” which is basically a fancy word for sleepwalking, but it sound more exciting 😀
Also does anyone here know anything about describing people? Do they do it all in one place or do they spread it all throughout the chapter or whole book? I spread it out usually, but then think its better to read it all in one place…
"Would you kindly...?"
February 25, 2023 at 1:08 pm #134556Also does anyone here know anything about describing people? Do they do it all in one place or do they spread it all throughout the chapter or whole book? I spread it out usually, but then think its better to read it all in one place…
That really depends on many many factors. Including your writing style, how much is relevant to convey, the particular character you want to tell the readers about, ect. There is no right way of doing this really. What’s the perspective the character is being described from? For example, if it’s a romantic interest, or some stunning character, or a character out off the usual, ect, then most would likely give a vivid description focused on this character. Other times, it’s maybe best to spread it out if at all. You can also describe a character in many interesting ways, like describing the describer, by how they describe something. Sounds weird, but there’s some really good examples of things like this.
Here’s an example of my own writing, where I choose to do it all at once, because this character/thing, demanded attention. WARNING, it may be deemed disturbing to some, not really that bad, but I don’t know how to scale these sort of things:
The stench of plastic reawakened, melded into an odor of decay. Forms of all shapes and sizes crept, dragged, and limped across the scene.
One looked toward me. Instinctive fear pinched me. Its back was arched and lopsided, the left leg nonexistent. However its disfigured arms fixed the issue. The left was so massive it lay on the ground, holding the beast up with the remaining leg. Its face looked as though it’s been crushed on one side. Wrinkled and torn, like a crumpled piece of paper.
But its eyes… those lonely, impaling eyes. Those eyes pierced me with almost complete indifference, yet you could feel them speak… I’m human. Perhaps, the creature was only once truly human. What watched me now was something else entirely… except those eyes. They looked numb. Strange scars and wrinkles littered around them, sagged lines highlighted them. But it was there, little though it was, there was humanity.
In contrast, the main character, Tailen, in this story doesn’t really have much description. However we learn a little bit about him by what he just described, though he doesn’t act like it in much of the story so far, he shows in this moment that he has a understanding of suffering and sees humanity in what essentially appears to be a monster. He would occasionally make reference to his grey clothing when it was relevant to his situation where he needed to rip a piece off. Other than that, it’s not really relevant to describe him in any physical way at least, he’s just a man, probably in his 20s.
There’s really way to many ways to describe characters or anything for that matter. What you want to convey and how you convey in mood and theme, ect is influenced by many many factors, so ultimately, it’s your writing, so how you describe someone/something is entirely up to you.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
February 25, 2023 at 1:43 pm #134559Cool topic idea!!
I definitely struggle with description. Mostly because I forget to put it there in the first place. 😂
My uncle introduced me to the word “askance” and I’ve been waiting for the just the write time to use it in one of my books. XD
Also does anyone here know anything about describing people? Do they do it all in one place or do they spread it all throughout the chapter or whole book? I spread it out usually, but then think its better to read it all in one place…
For me, it definitely depends on who I’m describing. As for my main characters, I don’t do it all in one place. It’s spread out. For example, “Ev ran a hand through his thick brown hair.” “Ami tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear.” “Ami melted under the gaze of Ev’s chocolate brown eyes.” “Ev searched her emerald green eyes, trying to understand what she was thinking.” Etc., etc.
Some characters, like my villain Derek Len, I described all in one place, because of his resemblance to his brother who had ruled inside the Orb. (I know some of that doesn’t make sense, but it may take a while to explain. XD)
Same with Dao. I described him right way because I wanted the readers to get a feel for who he was and what he was like.
As he got closer, she was able to make out his appearance. He didn’t have the cleanest hair and his brown locks frequently fell in front of his face. He wore medieval style clothing: a dark green vest over a long-sleeved shirt, dark pants, and brown boots. Slung over his back he had a mandolin and a piccolo. Additionally, he wore a belt with odd things connected to it.
Totally not my best piece of description, but it was from the first draft. 😂
I agree with @thearcaneaxiom. It all depends on who your describing, the mood of the scene, and from who’s point of view you’re writing from.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
February 25, 2023 at 7:43 pm #134604That little piece of writing you shared is so good! I like how it paints a picture of what the main character is seeing! Here’s a piece of my writing that I wrote recently, it may seem not very exciting- but it is part of a book based off a nightmare I had and it is pretty creepy so I’ll just stick with this 😀
I walked downstairs with hiking boots on my feet and snuck over to the home phone in the kitchen. Lucky mom was in the shower so I could just make one tiny call. I dialed the number with shaky hands, my parents never said I couldn’t call my friends and they never said I couldn’t use it for my sneaky scheme so I dialed the number with a sense of calmness. “Hello” I said into the receiver “Hello?” The voice questioned back “Is this Wayne Reese?” I asked. The line went dead. Well I guess I couldn’t get the right phone number off an old piece of grape juice stained paper that I found in the bottom of my backpack. I tried three more times each time changing out one number for another hoping with all my might that mom wouldn’t come out of the shower before I was done because she would never approve of me calling over seven different numbers. Finally on the eighth call I asked “Is this Wayne Reese?” “Is this Eddie Cooper?” A lady asked back “Yes” I responded, confused. “Well hi Eddie, it’s Wayne’s mom, he’s setting up for the party with me now but I think he’s available to come to the phone now. I’ll go ask him.” I heard her set the phone down and walk away, voices and heavy footsteps coming back and the scratchy muffled sound of a hand picking up the phone, “Hey Ed what do you need?” “Wayne!” I nearly yelled with relief “I have a question, and without waiting I told him “ Were going to go trick or treating tonight right?” “Yes, after the party” he said “It will be dark by then right?” I went on without waiting for a response. “Yes, it will, so can you do me a favor?
"Would you kindly...?"
February 25, 2023 at 7:48 pm #134605Your really good at description! I just love – Ami melted under the gaze of Ev’s chocolate brown eyes.” “Ev searched her emerald green eyes, trying to understand what she was thinking. Its super sweet!
"Would you kindly...?"
February 25, 2023 at 7:53 pm #134608Also everyone (Sorry to chat so much) 😀 but I was wondering if you would want to (You defiantly don’t have to if you don’t want to ) But I’m writing a historical fiction book and could you just read over it and see if it pulls you in, if you can see it , if it sound real and other things like that! Thanks!
Jade stepped off the train into the cool autumn air of New York. She was carrying a brown leather suitcase with gold buttons and a parasol made of emerald colored silk. Without her even saying a word everyone at the station turned their heads to look at this breathtaking beautiful lady. She wore the popular style of dress, the color of lime green with long sleeves, a high neck and a nipped waist. An elegant green, gold and black striped hat was perched upon her pale white hair decorated with flowers and a small stuffed bird. She was not old, but a young woman of twenty or so. Jade took a few steps forward and took a deep breath, inhaling the smoky scent of the train and the sweet smelling sugar maples that lined the pathway to the road.
"Would you kindly...?"
February 26, 2023 at 1:24 pm #134629Your really good at description! I just love – Ami melted under the gaze of Ev’s chocolate brown eyes.” “Ev searched her emerald green eyes, trying to understand what she was thinking. Its super sweet!
Aww! Thanks so much!! That’s super encouraging. 🥰🥰🥰
That second one up there ^ is still one I have yet to use in a scene, but I can’t wait to do it! 😀 XD
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
February 26, 2023 at 1:25 pm #134630That’s a really good introduction to how Jade looks!! I’m already interested in who she is and her story! 😀
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
February 26, 2023 at 2:39 pm #134642Thanks! I like your writing as well. You can see Eddie through the rational and technicality’s he gives to justify his behavior, something we all can related to at times.
I like the writing you gave for Jade as well. You show her character by the attention she immediately gains from a crowd in a train station, something that would be very hard to do, especially in a place like New York.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
February 26, 2023 at 10:29 pm #134730Antiphilbibliophile (Against love book lovers)
Omphalophobia (The fear of bellybuttons [Beware of Veggies Tales!!!])
Quadcorn (A unicorn wearing a tricorne)
You will love what you spend time with.
March 3, 2023 at 11:22 am #135344Sorry it took so long to write back (I’m in the process of moving cross country). I have never heard of any of those words, Omphalophobia is hilarious! I love finding about phobias- I found a few ones.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words?
Zuigerphobia- Fear of vacuums
Pretty interesting, huh?
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