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Your welcome!
I’m looking forward to seeing the next part!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@keilah-h @hybridlore @ellette-giselle @the_lost-journal @liberty @whalekeeper @linus-smallprint
Oof, it’s been two weeks. Well, here’s the third chapter, please tell me what you think once you’re done reading it. This is a shorter chapter, so I’ll probably post the fourth tomorrow.
Chapter 3
“That’s lovely.” Elina sat down, an uncomfortable dizziness growing in her head.
“Maybe this is all just an elaborate experiment, and we’re the poor victims of it.” Dylan suggested. He didn’t even sound convinced, however.
“Sure, because someone would go to all this effort just to mess with five high school kids.” Olivia rolled her eyes, fiddling with a stub of a pencil in her hands. Elina noted the rapidity with which she passed it along her fingers, holding it between her thumb, pointer and middle fingers and flipping it around endlessly.
“Why are we the only ones left?” Adaline wondered aloud. She tugged on her golden hair, looking from face to face.
“Who knows? We’ll have to figure that out along with the millions of other questions.” Jack wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, examining the note closely. “I guess we know one thing: the others were taken by someone for malicious reasons,” he pointed to the blood stain for reference, “And are now in the woods or beyond them, somewhere, and for some reason left us.”
Olivia chuckled, “This is so ridiculous.
“Maybe it is, what do you propose we do, Jack?” Dylan questioned.
Jack sighed, looking round at the four. “I don’t know.”
Olivia threw up her hands, “Then we’re back to square one.”“We could wait a few days, maybe everyone left for some reason.” Adaline mumbled, staring at the ground.
“Right, because everyone would just leave.” Olivia scoffed. “No, there has to be a logical explanation.”
“Maybe there isn’t this time around,” Dylan said, and his eyes flicked towards the window. “Maybe something beyond our comprehension is going on.”“Like what? We’re in the matrix or a simulation?” Olivia shook her head. “Yeah, right.”
“Well, we all know the stories.” Elina said.
“They’re all made up.” Adaline cut in, “Just to scare kids.”
“Guys, I think we’re wasting time here.” Jack piped up. “We need a plan if our town is in danger.”
Dylan nodded, “Your right. Anyone have any ideas?”
“We could stay here, enjoy the quiet and lack of rules, and-’’Elina interrupted Olivia, “That’s wrong.”
Olivia glared at her, “Oh, sorry, Ms. Goody Two Shoes. I forgot you can’t have any fun without your high and mighty morals getting in the way.”“Lay off her, Livie. We’re not doing anything illegal, it’s a waste of time anyway.” Dylan said, shutting his mouth as fast as the words had come out as Olivia frowned.
“Since when did you stick up for freaks?” She questioned, looking annoyed. Dylan remained silent, ignoring Elina’s grateful glance.Jack cleared his throat, “Leave the insults alone for a sec. Does anyone have any actual plans? Because at this point, our best bet is to either search for the townsfolk in the woods ourselves or find some outside help.”
“The latter sounds better. If something did take everyone, how would five teenagers stop it?” Dylan agreed, straightening a bit and adding in a shaky voice, “Our families – my family – could be in danger, and I’m not wasting any time here when I could be getting help.”
“Right, like we’ll actually make it out alive from those woods.” Adaline commented.“I thought you didn’t believe in those stories?” Elina said, smiling slightly.
“I don’t.” Adaline said, shooting daggers at Elina. “That doesn’t mean we couldn’t end up dying by getting lost and starving.”
“I agree with Dylan.” Jack stood up, “What about you, Elina?”
Elina blinked, what did she think?No point in staying in town. Then again, I’d have to spend more time than ever with Dylan, Olivia and Adaline. Dylan isn’t so bad, but the others?
She glanced at Olivia, her fingers flew over the pencil, Adaline next to her stared at the ground, rubbing her neck with an ever so shaky hand.
Elina looked at her brother, he shrugged. Well, I guess I don’t have anything to lose either way. Then again, I never did to begin with. And if mom, dad, Dan, and Becky are in danger I can’t just let them… don’t think about it.
She swallowed and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll go.”
Jack looked relieved, “Great.”
Dylan nodded to Adaline, “What about you?”
“Do I have much of a choice at this point?” Adaline groaned, “I’ll go, but I still think this is a waste of time.”
“I’m sure you do.” Jack said, “Anyway, let’s get some supplies and meet at the park in an hour. The sooner we get going, the better. Pack some food, clothes, water, anything you think would help us not wind up dead. I’ll go to town hall and search for a map.”
“Wouldn’t that be stealing?” Adaline pointed out, furrowing her brow.“It’s an exception to the rule.” Jack replied.
“Of course.” Adaline huffed as she and Olivia made their way to the door. “We’ll meet you there.”
Dylan followed behind them, and then it was just Jack and Elina.“I hope you’re right about this whole thing.” Elina said as the two made their way up the stairs.
“I hope so too.”
“Our house is full of ducks!!!!”
Yay! It looks good! 😊 Looking forward to the next one!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
NICE!!
I really like it! I had hopes for Dylan and they seem to be coming through! Yay!!
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
@theshadow great job!! Can’t wait for more!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@theshadow
I read your latest chapter, but don’t have time to comment on it today. That may be the case until Thursday. Don’t worry about waiting for me, you can keep posting more stuff if you have any.Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Okay, I’m back now. Your latest chapter looks good! And so, the adventure begins…
Looking forward to the next part and seeing what these woods are like!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@keilah-h @hybridlore @ellette-giselle @the_lost-journal @liberty @whalekeeper @linus-smallprint
New chapter, please tear into this.
Chapter 4
Dylan stopped abruptly, “Where’s the path?”
“What do you mean ‘where’s the path’?” Olivia shoved past Elina and Jack, gazing out ahead. A seemingly endless sea of trees met her.“Oh, great, nice going Dylan, you got us lost.”
Dylan shook his head, “We were literally just on the path, how could we have gotten lost?”
“Maybe this corner is a dead end.” Jack remarked, turning round. He started, taking a double look. “Uh, the path behind us is gone.”
“WHAT?!” Adaline whirled around, “How is that possible?!”“One wrong turn, and somehow the path is gone completely.” Elina muttered, rubbing her eyes. “We’re hallucinating, that’s it.”
“Five people can’t hallucinate the same thing, moron.” Olivia said, rounding the corner they had just come from and disappearing into the trees.“Anything there?” Adaline asked.
Olivia hurried back, her eyes wide. “Nothing but trees.”
“Okay, nobody panic-’’“This is all your fault, Dylan!” Adaline interrupted, pointing an accusing finger at him. “I knew we shouldn’t have let you lead!”
“My fault?” Dylan scoffed, “I didn’t do anything.”
“Calm down, Adaline. There’s no need to point-’’“We’re lost, we’re lost forever in these stupid woods!” Adaline exclaimed, interrupting Jack yet again. Jack looked like he wanted to strangle her.
Olivia turned round, and, with the force of a wave on a stormy day, slapped Adaline.
Elina jerked back, her jaw dropped. What is happening right now?
Adaline stumbled back, clutching her cheek. “Olivia!”
“You need to get a hold of yourself!” Olivia yelled, knowing everyone was watching her. She didn’t care. “We can’t have someone freaking out after one bad turn! Get it together!”
Adaline nodded rapidly, a tear budding in the corner of her eye.Olivia faced the others, ignoring their shock. “Now, don’t we have flashlights?”
Elina swallowed the panic swelling inside of her, and shouldered her backpack off. Grabbing a flashlight, she switched it on and aimed it into the darkness shrouding them. The beam penetrated the shadows, settling on a silver maple.The others took their flashlights out, and lights danced upon the forest trees like fireflies.
“Now what?” Elina questioned.
“We search for the path.” Olivia responded.
“I don’t think that’s-’’ Jack began.
“Don’t think it’s a good idea?” Olivia interrupted sharply, scowling at him. “Do you have any better ideas? I’m not sitting here in the cold, waiting for help that won’t come.” With that, she marched away, disappearing into the woods. Adaline tailed her, Dylan following suit.
Elina shrugged, “Might as well try looking.”
Jack grunted, and the twins trudged after the others.
Walking through the forest with the lights was actually worse than without them. The forest trees frowned above them, their trunks stretching ever upwards. Brown foliage burdened their branches, occasionally a leaf broke off and spun to the forest floor. The leaves barricaded any light from entering the woods, with only stabs of sun rays breaking through and illuminating patches of the sylvan gloom. Besides the gentle breathing of the high schoolers, the only other noise came from the rhythmic psithurism.
Elina shivered, drawing her zipper up higher. The silence crushed upon her, almost as bad as the silence in the town. Alongside her was Jack, though neither spoke.
I wonder if we’ll make it out of here. I mean, others haven’t, what makes us so different?
She turned the thought over and over again, with each turn a rising panic followed after.
What if what happened to the town happens to us? And, what if, what if we don’t make it?
A new thought came to her, a queasy feeling rising in the pit of her stomach, what if Mom and Dad and the little kids don’t make it?
Elina had to stop, covering her mouth as the uncomfortable thought echoed in her mind.
“Elina, what’s wrong?”
Jack had stopped too, staring at her.“Dad, and Mom, and Becky and Danny… What if they don’t make it? What if… they’re already…” She couldn’t finish the sentence, wiping her moist eyes.
“I don’t know, really. All I know is that we need to keep going and find help. That’s all we can do now.”
“Yeah, just…”
She became aware of Olivia and Adaline and Dylan listening now too, Olivia and Adaline nudging each other, laughing maybe, whispering.
Oh, nice, I bet they’re mocking me.
“Hey, I just got an idea.” Jack said suddenly, stealing the attention away from her for the moment.
“What?” Olivia questioned, folding her arms.“Let’s build a signal fire, maybe a plane will spot it overhead and send help.”
“Oh, sure, sure.” Olivia frowned, “You think smoke will get through the leaves?”
Jack peered at the dense blanket blotting the sky, “One of us could climb up, make an opening.”
“How do you intend on getting up there, then?” Adaline asked. She had a point, considering the trees towered above with few branches to serve as footholds. “And wouldn’t we set the forest on fire?”
“Fine then!” Jack exclaimed, “Do you have any better ideas?”“What is that?” Dylan looked up suddenly, directing his flashlight to something in the woods. He squinted, “I think it’s a light.”
Olivia followed his gaze, “That means someone else is out there.”
“And that someone’s our ticket out of here.” Adaline dashed towards it before anyone could stop her.“Adaline!” Olivia screeched, following suit.
“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Jack breathed, looking to the two left.
“Might as well.” Dylan sighed, and they followed after.“Our house is full of ducks!!!!”
Oooo!! I like this!! This is getting good!
And, what if, what if we don’t make it?
This is a little cluncky because of the punctuation. If you did: “And what if–– what if we don’t make it?” or “And what if. . . what if we don’t make it?” either of those would work well. Use the dash if you want it to read as a sudden horrifying shock, use the dots if you want it to be a slow realization that settles into horror.
“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Jack breathed, looking to the two left.
Love that!
I also like the panic the two girls are showing. It goes well with their nasty personalities. 😂
And yes…. I need to draw your girl! 🤦🏼♀️
I have been swamped lately, but we’ll see if I can have her to you this week.
Oh, also, I’m hoping for backstory on the scar! I’m guessing that’ll come sometime in the future….?
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
It looks good! I don’t have any major critiques. It is a very short chapter, but it does a good job of building on the tension. Also, I like the way you described the trees.
It seems a little weird that Olivia and Adeline and Dylan don’t seem to care about their families… well, maybe Dylan a little bit.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
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