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@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 36th out!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 37th out!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 38th!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 39th out!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 40th out!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Chapter the 41st out!
Only one or two more chapters after this.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Sorry for the wait. But Chapter the 42nd is out!
And this concludes The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book II: The Sword! Thank you for reading! I’ll get some feedback questions ready soon!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator
Here is a link to some feedback questions I would appreciate if you could take the time to answer for TNPT II:
The Sword Feedback – 1st Draft (In Microsoft Word)Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
You gotta set it up like one of those quizzes someday. You know, the one people always use for scheduling group events that I can never figure out how to make.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
~FEEDBACK~
The Narrow Path Trilogy Book 2
Character:
~ Which character(s) did you find the most compelling/relatable/believable and why?
Martha. I just really liked her and could relate as an older sister. Some of her struggles felt similar to my own.
Eric was really interesting and fun. I also really liked James.
Alan was frustrating. Not sure if that’s good or bad…..
~ Were there any character(s) you struggled to connect with?
Sara.
~ Did Alan and the other character’s motivations and actions feel believable?
I think Alan’s motivations felt real, but I sure didn’t agree with some of them.
~ Were the relationships between characters well-developed and meaningful?
Yes. Especially Alan and Martha having an almost brother/sister relationship that has room to grow into something more but doesn’t feel cheesy. And then the Martha and Eric relationship.
~ Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?
I actually felt this was well balanced. I like Cyrus and am actually interested to see more of him, but it would kind of ruin this book to put more of him in it. So it’s more of something to look forward to in the future.
~ Did any characters feel unnecessary to the story?
Sara felt a little underdeveloped in some ways, but I can’t really pinpoint it. It’s like you didn’t know her and you were trying to figure her out. But she was also necessary.
Plot:
~ Was the plot engaging? Which parts did you find the hardest to put down?
Yeah, the plot was good. Basically once they reached the professor I was really looking forward to the next chapters and would have crashed that whole section from then to the end in about 20 minutes had I had the book. I could have easily done this book in one sitting without feeling board.
~ Did the pacing feel consistent throughout the book? If not, where did it lag or feel dull?
It was a little dull when Alan was recovering from being injured, but there’s not much you can do about that, and it wasn’t so much so that I was annoyed.
~ Were there any plot twists or surprises that stood out to you?
Hmmm. Actually, not really, but I read the outline, so I don’t think that’s really fair.
~ Was the ending fitting and satisfying, or did you feel it came too suddenly?
Yes! Actually, I keep thinking back to it today and I have this really nice mental image of the whole last chapter. (Minus the creepy hand. I kinda wrote that out in my mind. ?)
~ Were any parts of the story confusing or difficult to follow?
Nooo…. Not that I remember. But I always read books in one or two sittings, so having it so prolonged makes a little bit hard to keep track of that and if I already mentioned it. If there were, it was small.
~ Were there any unresolved plot threads you wish had been dealt with in this book?
Nope. It felt good and well rounded, and anything unsolved can be solved in book 3 no problem.
World:
~ Was the worldbuilding clear and immersive?
Yeah, I think so. It works. I’d like a map personally in the front of the book to look at now and then, but otherwise it was great.
~ Did it feel incomplete in any area?
No. I don’t think so.
~ Were the rules of the world (e.g., magic, fantasy races, laws) explained well?
I think so. And if there were any snags I would have already mentioned them in my feedback throughout the doc.
~ Did the integration of Christian themes into the fantasy world feel natural?
Yes, and the less allegorical you made it the easier it was. Like the closer you stuck to scripture, etc.
~ Did any parts of the world feel unnecessary? Do you think any parts of the worldbuilding should be cut out?
Nope. I don’t think so.
~ Was the balance between action and description effective in creating the world?
Seemed so to me.
~ Any topics you recommend I research to improve worldbuilding and make it more realistic?
No, I don’t think so, but I’m not one for full on fantasy worlds. I like doing alternate reality, so I’m not sure if I’m the right person.
Theology:
~ Any theological concerns for the story?
None I haven’t already addressed.
~ Did this book balance storytelling with faith well? How do you feel about the way it portrayed God?
I think it was well balanced and God seems pretty good, but removed. I hope as Alan grows closer to Him He will feel less like a “high in the sky” God and more of a personal God who desires a relationship with us.
~ What would you say the main morals of the story were?
Trusting God over yourself. The importance of Christian Fellowship and the fact that God has given us brothers and sisters to help and encourage us and for us to help and encourage.
~ Did this story make you think about anything you hadn’t before?
No… but I don’t think that is necessarily bad.
Other:
~ What was your favourite part of the book overall?
The last chapter for sure. Also Alan and Martha making their brother and sister sort of agreement, and the scene they fell through the barn floor (I think that’s what happened) and the scene with Eric and Martha when they first re-meet)
~ Which scenes do you think would benefit the most from illustrations?
The last chapter with Alan looking out from the tower
Some traveling pictures
Alan holding up his sword in the end
The big battle with Cyrus helping him fight.
Martha with Alan when he’s casting the spells in the storm
Alan injured
Alan and the others trying to fight the wizards before they were injured
The professor’s lab and his servant guys
Alan and Martha talking
Eric helping rescue Martha
James, Sara, Martha, and Eric looking into the storm with the wind blowing at them and the girls are shielding their faces while James is staring at it trying to figure out how to get in. (just a lot of wind action)
Alan’s mother at some point or other in both her forms. (as the fighting witch and as the more ‘normal’ witch)
Not sure what else at the moment….
~ What would you say the target audience of this book would be?
Middle school to YA. Wingfeather type audience.
~ Do you anticipate book three?
Definitely
~ So far, do you prefer book one or two? Please explain your preference.
(This question is worded in a very Ai generated way. XD) I like book 2 better because I liked the cast and the story and the plot better. Idk. I just liked it better than book one.
~ Any predictions or things you would like to happen for book 3 and its characters?
Besides Martha and Alan getting hitched? I’d like Eric to be unwolfed. And The badguy (who’s name I won’t even attempt to spell) to end up dying and not being saved. (for reasons I already mentioned) For Alan to find a balance between standing against evil and defending the innocent vs. doing it all on his own and trying to ‘save the world’.
~ Any other thoughts?
It really was a good book, and you did a good job on it.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Thank you for the feedback! I’m glad you liked it, and to here it is better that the last one in your opinion is encoraging.
Yeah, reading the outline kind of takes those surprises away, doesn’t it?
Sara probably felt underdeveloped because I just kind of threw her in there, so I haven’t spent the time to figure her out yet. Hopefully, that will be fixed in the next draft.
Also, funny thing: The question you accused of being AI generated may be the only one on there that is not.
Thank you very much for reading this and providing feedback! I will let you know when I start working on Book III if you want. (That might be in a month or two.) It was a pleasure to have your assistance again!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Dude. Ai has been asking me these questions!
*stares in horror*
?
Of course let me know. I’d love to help with the third book! Just let me know. Maybe while you’re on your online break you can draw a bunch of illustrations! *hint hint* ?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@ellette-giselle Not sure why you’re so horrified, they’re literally the exact same questions you asked……..
I can confirm, Linus is not an AI, cause if he were, it’d be hard for him to come up with several fantasy races AND keep it consistent throughout. I’ve messed around with generative AI before (although I never use it to write for me, it was more of seeing what it could actually do correctly, and on top of that it was two years ago before all the controversy stuff started happening), and I can tell you that it has no consistency whatsoever.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
I was mostly joking.
I know, but my questions came from my own head. XD
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@ellette-giselle ahhh ok
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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