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@loopylin and @theshadow
Just wondering if either of you are still reading through TNPT: The Cost.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@janellebelovedpig @whalekeeper
I looked at this and showed my sister, but I don’t think either of us will be doing it this year. My sister doesn’t feel ready to share the project she is typing up and her WIP she is writing on paper. I would also like to take a break from writing and focus on some other things.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
If you’re talking about CWW, no problem, it’s an optional challenge. :] You should tell your sister, though, that nobody actually shares their stories on the community. You only count up your words and submit the number each time you write. So her project wouldn’t be shown to anyone.
There has been no news for Silksong for today...
@linus-smallprint I’ll have to do it tomorrow, and you’re gonna have to remind me cause if not I’ll probably put it off and forget lol
Which page was it on?
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
If you’re talking about CWW, no problem, it’s an optional challenge. :] You should tell your sister, though, that nobody actually shares their stories on the community. You only count up your words and submit the number each time you write. So her project wouldn’t be shown to anyone.
Yes, I did mean the crazy writing week. I don’t know why I posted that in this form.
Okay, I have told her that. I still kind of doubt she will join though.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I will just make things easy for you and give you a new link to the feedback file.
TNPT: The Cost – Second Draft Feedback
Thanks!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@linus-smallprint here ya go!
Which character(s) did you find the most compelling/relatable/believable and why?
They were all pretty good.
Were there any character(s) you struggled to connect with? What could make them more engaging?
Nope, not that I remember.
Did Alan and the other character’s motivations and actions feel believable?
Yeah, I think so, but I’m a terrible judge of these things so don’t take my word for it.
Were the relationships between characters well-developed and meaningful?
Seemed like it.
Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?
more gorbs cause Australian reptile people are my weak pointok but actually, all of your featured characters are really interesting, and for Tyn, Stripe and Oliver, I’d love to see at least short stories telling their backstories from their perspectives.
Did any characters feel unnecessary to the story?
Nope, not that I remember.
Was the plot engaging? Which parts did you find the hardest to put down?
I found it pretty engaging. But it doesn’t take much to keep me interested, especially in a fantasy world like yours.
Did the pacing feel consistent throughout the book? If not, where did it lag or feel dull?
I’m not sure. I think it was pretty consistent.
Were there any plot twists or surprises that stood out to you?
Not really…? But it wasn’t like predictable either.
Was the ending fitting and satisfying, or did you feel it came too suddenly?
A little sudden, but that’s just because I didn’t expect the last chapter to be so short. I understand why though, since you’re gonna immediately work on the next book. I would suggest publishing the trilogy all at once though, due to the way they seem to be written. Or at least have all three more or less finished so the times between publishings aren’t a year or so apart. It drives me crazy when authors put huge cliffhangers in the ends of their books and then we have to wait 2 years for the next one. (looking at you, Keeper of the Lost Cities….)
Were any parts of the story confusing or difficult to follow?
Not really.
Were there any unresolved plot threads you wish had been dealt with in this book?
No…..although I’d have to read through the whole thing again in one sitting to pick up on that kinda thing.
Was the worldbuilding clear and immersive?
Yessssss. very much, although it’s probably because I have much of the same thing.
Did it feel incomplete in any area?
No, not that I remember. No more than my worldbuilding anyway.
Were the rules of the world (e.g., magic, fantasy races, laws) explained well?
I think so.
Did the integration of Christian themes into the fantasy world feel natural?
About as much as Christian themes in a fantasy world can be, since it’s kinda hard to do that properly. I like how you connected all the species back to humans, avoiding the “aliens technically can’t be saved if you look at a clear reading of the Bible” problem.
Did any parts of the world feel unnecessary? Do you think any parts of the worldbuilding should be cut out?
No, I don’t think so.
Was the balance between action and description effective in creating the world?
I am a horrible judge of this, so I can’t really tell you the truth on it. From what I can tell though, it was pretty good.
Any topics you recommend I research to improve worldbuilding and make it more realistic?
Research the cultures you’re using for your creatures as much as you’re comfortable with (if you know what I mean, like if you don’t wanna look up the tenets of their religion for fear of picking something dark up, that’s fine and I myself wouldn’t look that stuff up, but at least study the language, how men and women are treated differently, etc.). For example,
Any theological concerns for the story?
No, at least none that I can tell. Other than the whole magic images thing, but that’s a whole different discussion
Did this book balance storytelling with faith well?
I think so, at least for a second or third draft. I can’t exactly tell you if there’s anywhere you need to improve.
How do you feel about the way it portrayed God?
Given that Alan’s only just learning about God, I say the way you wrote about Him is okay.
What would you say the main morals of the story were?
1) Sin is powerful, but Jesus overcame it for us. 2) You can’t “be the hero” by yourself.
Did this story make you think about anything you hadn’t before?
Hmm…..I don’t know. I feel like I’ve already thought about a lot of the things covered, but it’s nice to see them from the perspective of fantasy animal people (which is completely my jam)
What was your favorite part of the book overall?
Haha, I can never say for sure what my favorite part of anything is.
Which scenes do you think would benefit the most from illustrations?
When I draw for my own stories, I usually go for 1) the scenes I think are most impactful or important, or 2) when I introduce an important character, I might draw them doing whatever they’re doing at the point in the story where we first see them. I’d start with those ideas.
What would you say the target audience of this book would be?
Probably 10 or 11 and up, if only cause younger kids aren’t as likely to understand the whole magic thing.
Do you anticipate the sequel?
Yes, very much!
Any predictions or things you would like to happen for book 2 and its characters?
Not really, no.
Any other thoughts?
Nope! You’re all set!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Thank you very much for your feedback!
Research the cultures you’re using for your creatures as much as you’re comfortable with.
Good idea. Thanks!
It drives me crazy when authors put huge cliffhangers in the ends of their books and then we have to wait 2 years for the next one. (looking at you, Keeper of the Lost Cities….)
Two years? Only?
I had to wait for seven years for the final Alcatraz book to come out after the fifth was released.
I plan to release TNPT books with 4-6 months between each.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@linus-smallprint Reading it right now! Sorry, I’ve gotten behind. I’ll let you know my thoughts once I’m done :]
Official KP archivist ✨
Don’t know if I’ve said this before, but the way Lyens name everything is hilarious XD
Official KP archivist ✨
Sorry, just saw this now. I haven’t been able to read it for a bit with school picking up now. Sorry, hopefully at some point I’ll catch up.
“Our house is full of ducks!!!!”
@linus-smallprint sheesh, seven years?!
There was one series I got into which had a seven year gap between its last two installments, but I got into it the year the last part came out so I didn’t have to wait long. I can’t imagine being one of those people who’d been into it before then and were waiting years for the conclusion.
I plan to release TNPT books with 4-6 months between each.
Oh that’s good.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
So what chapter are you on right now? Also how are you so brave?! I would be so scared that people would judge my writing. That’s why I stoped with the short story I was sharing on here… no one seemed to enjoy it, it felt like no one was reading it and I realized how horrible I am at writing. (That is the main reason why I think very little wanted to join my thing)
I get judged a lot at home, so I basically never share any of my work.
"MAMA! I AM SCARED MOMA! MOMAAAAAA!!!!!!! TALK TO ME MAMA!"
Reading it right now! Sorry, I’ve gotten behind. I’ll let you know my thoughts once I’m done :]
Awesome! Thank you!
Don’t know if I’ve said this before, but the way Lyens name everything is hilarious XD
Sometimes, limits bring out creativity. I was struggling to come up with names for them, other than the names I am currently using, so I decided to just go with it. Glad to hear you are finding them funny!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
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