Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost
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July 11, 2024 at 11:36 am #182472
So I… kind of forgot you tagged me. I’m sorry, that’s my bad. I would be willing to follow your story still if you wouldn’t mind.
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 11, 2024 at 12:53 pm #182483Sure thing, you can follow it as well. I have the chapters set to expire August 6, so you still have plenty of time to catch up. Thank you for your interest!
July 11, 2024 at 1:23 pm #182486Your welcome, and thanks for letting me read it!!
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
July 11, 2024 at 3:50 pm #182499Oooh! You use Reedsy too?!?!
I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!
How do you like it??Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 11, 2024 at 5:57 pm #182524I think I started using Reedsy because of your suggestion. I like it a lot, it has a nice design and it is good to have everything in one place, which makes it convenient. Sharing chapters is very easy! It does have its downs, like limited formatting and sometimes it is a little annoying to get around, but I have switched to using it for every document related to my book.
July 11, 2024 at 6:00 pm #182525Yeah, I was wondering if that was the case! Glad I was able to help!!! 😊
Yes! I love how easy it is to share chapters!
Yeah it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use it, but after over a year of using it I have never ever wanted to go back!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 12, 2024 at 12:13 pm #182576@keilah-h, @stephie, @loopylin, @theshadow, and @savannah_grace2009
Thank you all for showing interest in following TNPT. Here is Chapter the 6th! The link is set to expire on August 12. Please let me know what you think of the three groups mentioned. Also, I am curious to know what you think of Alan’s character so far. I feel like I have the least clear vision of how he thinks and talks. Does he seem inconsistent or anything to you?
July 15, 2024 at 3:23 pm #182790I read up until Chapter the Fifth!!!
You are an amazing writer, it’s really good, I feel like I’m reading a published book!!!!
I’ll read Chapter the Sixth as soon as I can get to it.
No, I don’t think Alan seems inconsistent from what I’ve read so far!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 15, 2024 at 3:32 pm #182792Thank you!
@keilah-h, @stephie, @loopylin, @theshadowMy goal for this week is to write and post Chapter the 7th.
July 15, 2024 at 3:33 pm #182793Would you mind looking at my novel? You don’t have to if your busy, but the more people critiquing it, the more it motivates me to write!!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 15, 2024 at 3:35 pm #182796Sure, I can!
July 15, 2024 at 3:52 pm #182809Okay great! If you go to my profile, I posted the link in my status update. Thank you so much!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 12:45 pm #182987@savannah_grace2009, @keilah-h, @stephie, @loopylin, @theshadow
Next Chapter! I finished a little early this week. It’s from Tyn’s perspective for all you Tyn fans. To be honest, most of what occurred in this chapter I did not know would happen until after I sat down to write.
Since I finished early, I am going to use the rest of this week to work on either a character or world-building document. I don’t think I will post it to avoid spoiling anything, but I will let you know what I am working on and if I was able to finish it so that you can all hold me accountable. I will work on Chapter the 8th next week.
Chapter the 7th: (https://editor.reedsy.com/s/lSxWDrR) [Expires August 17]
July 17, 2024 at 1:16 pm #183012@linus-smallprint lol when Oliver says “It’s good” and the narrator, whoever they are, says “He’s lying, it’s delicious” got me.
ooh also! I have an idea. I noticed lyen names are always lion-related, like you said, but I realized there’s only so many words you can use and you’d have to have a TON of repeats. So I thought, how about use other words having to do with cats, too? Like maybe an unusually spotted or striped lyen/lyeness named, say, Jagwir or Tyger or something, or a tiny village named Calliko or Tahby (housecat terms lol, when I said “tiny” village I meant it).
You totally don’t have to use that suggestion if you don’t want to, I just thought it’d be interesting.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
July 18, 2024 at 2:10 pm #183143Thank you for the suggestion! However, you are missing something. Are there a limited amount of words related to lions? Yes, yes there are. But when it comes to spelling? Oh ho ho! That is my playground! Take for example ‘Cub’, the most common word to use for a lyen name. Now how can we mess with the spelling?
Ckub
Cuhb
Ckuhb
Cuhhb
Cuhhhhhhhb (To be pronounced with hesitation as in ‘do we really want to name our child with the most common name for our species?)
Kuhbb
Cujb (the ‘j’ is silent. Don’t ask)
This list is not exhausted.
Yup, lyens are crazy. Let me know if you are confused by the names at any part and I will add something in where Linus Smallprint himself will sympathize with your confusion and help you straighten things out a bit (provided it is not in the early chapters, but I will try to avoid confusing you there).
Also, I would be happy to here any other suggestions that occur to you as you read! Thanks again for this one!
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