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Here it is @lorelei-writer
Like I said it’s not finished it’s missing most of its punctuation and I still have a couple of lines to add at the end which I have an idea of what they’ll be but haven’t thought them up yet xD. Tell me what you truly think. I don’t have any fellow poetry writers to tell me their opinion on my writings.
So this poem has an octometer (each stanza has eight syllables or at least is supposed to). That’s one thing I do with my poetry I like to have a certain meter. Free verse is definitely not my style. Though I appreciate people who can do that and I sounds good.
Falling Color
October 12, 2021
I was walking outside in the woods on this day and admiring all of the beauties of the colors of Fall God has given us. Then I started writing. I had brought my notebook out with me this day thinking I might need it. It turned out I did.
The sky above is just the right shade
The perfect background for the canvas.
The clouds in a lazy manner pass
Seem to take their time, yet swiftly fade.
Over the Fall colors sweeps my gaze
The apple’s green leaves are still vibrant.
Maple’s red like a fire hydrant
Stick out from the rest like a bright blaze.
The oak leaves are brown to rusty gold.
Some poplars a vivid yellow
Others, orange, are much more mellow.
But pines always display their green bold.
I now turn my eyes down to my feet
They’re covered by a blanket of leaves
Varied in color, blown by the breeze
Whispering, “Soon will be Winter’s sleep.”
Acorns brown scattered around the oaks,
Fruit trees release their heavy burdens,
Creatures feast then go to Winter dens,
Drifts of multi-hued leaves clog the brooks.
The shedding of the old covering
Makes trees look very sad and barren.
They now have nothing to keep hidden
That in the breeze they are shuddering.
This shedding makes colors everywhere
They are indescribable yet known.
Crimson, gold, orange, silver, and brown.
They make beauty all ‘round where they are.
Old needs to go to make way for new
At this time they look bare, without hope.
But it shows what’s under each trees’ cloak.
The season between shows which are true.
Branches once all hidden are revealed
All vary greatly in girth.
Some are thick, portraying great strength
Others thin, look weak and shriveled.
Some trees’ branches are straight and smooth,
And look like they’ve never been harmed.
Others are twisted and gnarled
Like one more like one more gust will break them loose.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
Hi @lorelei-writer !
Nice to meet you!I write medieval fantasy too! That’s so cool! And I’ve been homeschooled my whole life as well😊
Your description of your plot sounds interesting!
and I love the poem you posted, @elanor !
The end of a story, a beautiful picture; a feeling of longing yet hope~
That’s my wish to create.Thank you. 🙂
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
That is awesome!!! Yes, fall is the BEST season *high fives*
Great! I’m looking forward to it!! 😀 Ooh I’ll have to find that poem then! (And you can never judge a poem by its title, amiright? 😉)
Writing is a journey . . . journey for the Lord.
@trahia-the-minstrel COOL! Nice to meet you too! (And thanks!)
Writing is a journey . . . journey for the Lord.
Hi there! (I’m sorry I didn’t greet you earlier.)
I’m a homeschooler and book worm, and I probably talk out of turn a bit too much. I create all my worlds with no gun powder.
Question: What’s your favorite animal(s)?
Anyway, greetings and salutations! (And I totally agree, Fall is beautiful)
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
Hey! Nice to meet you! Giant pandas are my favorite, what about you?
Writing is a journey . . . journey for the Lord.
Small fuzzy things in general, with cats, foxes and squirrels at the top. I have a hard time deciding.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
Alright tell me what you think! (No you can’t.)
Is there anything you’re working on writing right now?
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
That is really good @elanor ! I love how you do a different rhyme scheme (abba instead of the usual abab)! I usually use certain meters as well. I use hexameter a lot, but sometimes I mix it up and do every other verse is a different meter, like a would be six, b would be five, a is six, b is five, and so on. Like this:
He holds me in His arms, (six)
And there I find strength, (five)
I’m loved in His presence, (six)
I’m saved by His grace. (five)
I love all of the descriptions in your poem as well! It’s so real and makes me feel like I’m actually there, which is incredible!
Sometimes I do free verse, but a lot of times I make up my own rhyme scheme. XD
Writing is a journey . . . journey for the Lord.
Oh yes, foxes and cats are some of my favorites as well!
What genres do you like to read/write?
Writing is a journey . . . journey for the Lord.
@lorelei-writer I love that poem!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@lorelei-writer It’s spelled Keilah but pronounced Kayla; it’s the Spanish spelling (my parents are Puerto Rican).
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Ok, I’m sorry I have taken so long to reply. My favorite genres to read are most likely (medieval) fantasy, or theology/doctrine. I also love a good historical fiction!
All four of my books are differing types of fantasy, between medieval and animals (if that’s a type). My other project is kid’s church curriculum.
What are yours?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
Love your poem thanks for sharing.
Thanks you. That was my first time trying out the abba. I often do the abab or do three or four lines in a row that rhyme (example aaa, bbb, ccc, so on and so forth). As for meters my usual is an octometer. But I’ve been everywhere between a pentameter to a dodecameter.
Ive written 24 poems of longish length in the last 6 months so I’ve had a lot of fun trying new things and seeing what different schemes sound like etc.
Sorry nowww I’m rambling. 😆
Great tag line @elishavet-pidyon
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
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