Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Lucid Wraith
- This topic has 71 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 5 months, 1 week ago by Linus Smallprint.
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October 20, 2023 at 10:50 am #159576
I that’s how I did it actually now checking the original document:
You’re telling me. I had more questions, but held my tongue because Thing’s current track record hasn’t been the most helpful for answering them, other than explaining my inability to eat.
Thanks Jonas for explaining what made sense in my head, but couldn’t really articulate in words😅
KP doesn’t Italicize things when you copy them from other documents. I knew this, but only fixed the first and last sections that are sort of separate form the main chapter block. I’ll make sure to double check for those parts that would make things more confusing otherwise for next time.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by TheArcaneAxiom.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
October 20, 2023 at 10:53 am #159578KP doesn’t Italicize things when you copy them from other documents.
That’s annoying, it seems that most sites to keep that sort of thing if they support it at all.
🏰 Fantasy Writer
✨ Magic System Creator
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📚 Appreciator of BooksOctober 20, 2023 at 11:09 am #159581@jonas @highscribeofaetherium @savannah_grace2009
What are y’all’s thoughts on my depiction of Thing?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
October 20, 2023 at 11:30 am #159588I didn’t pay too much attention to it, but I was imagining her basically like that picture. I think I was picturing her on wheels and I wasn’t picturing those ears, but I’ll have to go back to the description to see.
🏰 Fantasy Writer
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📚 Appreciator of BooksOctober 20, 2023 at 12:17 pm #159617Yeah, I just wanted to make sure I got the personality right above all. It did say that she floated around, so wheels wouldn’t be necessary, although it could be an additional function.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
October 20, 2023 at 12:19 pm #159618It did say that she floated around, so wheels wouldn’t be necessary, although it could be an additional function.
I just wasn’t paying enough attention.
🏰 Fantasy Writer
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📚 Appreciator of BooksOctober 20, 2023 at 1:59 pm #159634I like it! She reminds me of EVE from the movie WALL-E, lol
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333October 21, 2023 at 1:36 pm #159781I like it! Thing is my favorite, lol. I don’t think you should change the name even though it’s a little mean, but it’s up to you. I think it fits her and she likes it, so it works.
The plot is a little confusing to me… a lot of the philosophy/science stuff goes over my head but that’s fine, lol. Anyway, nice job so far! I would be interested to read the next chapter if you end up posting it anyway!
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
October 21, 2023 at 2:17 pm #159786I like it! Thing is my favorite, lol. I don’t think you should change the name even though it’s a little mean, but it’s up to you. I think it fits her and she likes it, so it works.
Thanks! I love Thing, she makes a great dynamic with Tailen, and is fun, funny, and perfect for not so subtle infodumping🤣
The plot is a little confusing to me… a lot of the philosophy/science stuff goes over my head but that’s fine, lol. Anyway, nice job so far! I would be interested to read the next chapter if you end up posting it anyway!
Yeah, those are the themes I want to explore, but I do want it be enjoyable and accessible to other readers as well.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
May 28, 2024 at 2:56 pm #180129Here’s my story. It’s going under major reevaluation right now though, so keep that in mind if you want to read it.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
May 29, 2024 at 11:15 am #180153Thank you! I will check this out!
June 11, 2024 at 11:08 am #180829I finished reading the chapters you shared. As I’ve said before, you have an interesting world and concepts.
Your robot character, Thing, reminds me of that annoying NPC character in video games who is supposed to help you but ends up only being annoying, forcing you to go through tutorials for things you already know and not helping you when you need it. (I’m looking at you, Prince Dreambert) I think you have done Thing very well. I do not want a personal companion robot like that, but it is amusing to read about. I can totally understand Tailen’s annoyance at it, even without him suddenly being thrown into an alien place and being told he is dead.
I hope to see more of this story later!
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