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The “tail end”??How many stories will there be in each era??
🤷♂️ Honestly I don’t know. Each era is worth centuries of time, at least in my septer, my sister’s eras are a bit shorter. That being said, I haven’t developed very much in my first era other than what’s taking place in Lucid, because it is the most earthlike, and I want to explore the worlds that take advantage of the bazar nature of the septer more. Like Omialia, which I explained to you before when I was talking about the magic system. My sister is making a series per era, but I might follow that route, but I might not, depending on where I think the most interesting stories are.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Dude! This is incredible!
With how immersive the world and writing style is along with how much intrigue and mystery was jam-packed into this excerpt, I’m blown away! Why didn’t you tell me you were this good at writing?!
The first section was actually breathtaking. I could feel each word as if they came alive within my body and mind. You have a fantastic way with words in which you create a world where you can fully lose yourself in.
My only suggestions would be to describe the physical surroundings more so that it’s easier to ground yourself in the story and to imagine the scene in your head. Particularly for the scene with his sister and Galrid. I wasn’t quite sure what space they were in or if there were other people with them as well.
The second would be to show more of Tailen’s character and personality. Right now, I don’t really have an idea of what kind of guy he is. Is he young or old? Rebellious or obedient? High energy or laid back? It would be nice to have some semblance of who our bro Tailen is.
All in all, this was fantastic! How much of the story have you written so far? What was your inspiration for the story?
Quick question: is the ‘Tai’ in Tailen pronounced like in ‘Thailand’, or like in ‘potato’?
Wait, ‘potato’? Does that make sense? I was just like ‘what word has the sound I’m thinking of?’ and my brain was like, ‘potato’ 😂
To clarify, does it rhyme with ‘day’, or is it pronounced ‘tie’ (I should’ve said this from the start, idk what I was thinking 😂)
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Whoa! Can you help me Worldbuild? You’re amazing!
Dude! This is incredible!
With how immersive the world and writing style is along with how much intrigue and mystery was jam-packed into this excerpt, I’m blown away! Why didn’t you tell me you were this good at writing?!
The first section was actually breathtaking. I could feel each word as if they came alive within my body and mind. You have a fantastic way with words in which you create a world where you can fully lose yourself in.
Thanks😅😅😅😅 I guess I just did tell you, or rather shown you😂 Although while I’m confident in my ability with prose, intrigue, and concepts, I’m not masterful as a whole, I’m the worst at pacing, and deal with way too much writers block, often editing my writing rather than continuing it, so I rarely make any progress.
My only suggestions would be to describe the physical surroundings more so that it’s easier to ground yourself in the story and to imagine the scene in your head. Particularly for the scene with his sister and Galrid. I wasn’t quite sure what space they were in or if there were other people with them as well.
Noted, I realize that I described other scenes better than I did that one. It’s half intentional, since Tailen himself was dealing with mind fog and confusion, only picking out details, but I could at least specify perhaps the light of the sun or something.
The second would be to show more of Tailen’s character and personality. Right now, I don’t really have an idea of what kind of guy he is. Is he young or old? Rebellious or obedient? High energy or laid back? It would be nice to have some semblance of who our bro Tailen is.
Yeah, bits and pieces of information trickle more so in the second and third chapters. I recognized that I basically threw him into a bunch of events beyond his control, and that’s not really a way to get to know a character, just a way to pity them. I’m hoping his character will develop more strongly as I go on, and I can perhaps go back if I need to, editing. I try to show subtle elements of what I do know shine through in his thoughts, and actions he can take, but perhaps I need to be a little more forward in the first chapter?
All in all, this was fantastic! How much of the story have you written so far? What was your inspiration for the story?
Ahh, yes, how much… I’ve worked on this for probably 3 or 4 years now, and I’m hardly starting the 4th chapter…🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ When I can get a good flow, I can write a solid chunk, but after that, I suddenly feel clueless as to what to do, again opting to edit prior writing, instead of continuing, which isn’t a good mentality for a first draft, but I can’t help my perfectionism. I also have worldbuilder’s sickness, so I also have to work on that😅 I’m hoping to force myself to write for the NaNoWriMo, and I hope that may get me into a habit of ignoring the imperfections of the first draft, and simply moving on, editing later.
Hmmm, as for my inspiration, a lot of things came together for it. I think it started with a video that talked about homochirality (this will be talked about a little in the second chapter). This is going to be a science rant that will sound like it has nothing to do with the story at first, so bear with me. Homochirality is a feature of the earths whole biosphere that optimizes the use of chiral molecular structures, including sugar, DNA, proteins, enzymes, ect. A chiral structure in layman’s terms just means that said structure has a mirror opposite that it cannot map to. Take the mirror opposite of a square, the square can still overlap the mirror image, and you can’t tell the difference, but what about something like an irregular triangle, where there’s a clear left and right handed geometry. So when you have interactions like a right handed enzyme bumping into a left handed protein, it doesn’t work, so nature, to maximize efficiency, produces only right handed enzymes and right handed proteins. So you are biologically compatible with our biosphere, so when you eat an apple, it has all the same chirality as you do, so that your body can take full advantage. The animals to the bugs the plants to the fungus all submit to the mandate of which chirality to use with some compound, so that everything works.
What does this have to do with anything at all. Well, allow me to give another long rant on higher dimensional geometry that will sound like it has nothing to do with anything. If you are not familiar with 4 dimensional ideas, it helps to have an analogy using 2 dimensions in relation to 3 dimensions. Let’s go back to that irregular triangle I mentioned earlier. The triangle is 2 dimensional. Let’s make the triangles mirror opposite. No matter how the first triangle moves and turns, it cannot fit onto its mirror opposite. Now, I, an all mighty 3 dimensional being, looking down at the poor, pitiful triangle, decide to help it out. I pick the triangle up, raising it into a 3 dimensional space, the experience would be surreal and incomprehensible to the triangle. Holding the triangle, I flip it over 180 degrees, and place it back down. What has happened? The triangle has become its mirror self, being able to fully overlap its once mirror counterpart. Now apply this to the concept of there being some 4 dimensional being, being able to lift you up, flipping you over, and putting you back. You then become your mirror self. Of course, you won’t notice, you will look the same in the mirror as you did before. However the world around you would look different, others would point out you look different, words would look backwards and such.
Now, again, what does any of this have to do with the story I gave. Well I will be happy to tell you, after I also explain… lol no. I’ve had intuition for extra dimensionality for a long time, but once I heard of the concept of chirality, I had an idea. What if someone was taken by some 4 dimensional entity, flipped, and placed back. They would become their mirror opposite, but nothing bad would happen, right? Sure the world around them looks different, and their heart may be on the wrong side of their body, but who cares, they’ll can get used to it. Except, what about chirality? Every molecule in their body will have become its mirror opposite. They’ve become a total alien, biologically incompatible with the rest of the world. This won’t matter with things such as water, since water is non-chiral, however, what about everything they would eat? Sugar would taste bland, protein and nutrition would be useless. Tailen Delz is doomed to die of starvation, even if he had all the food in the world. After I had that idea, I kept building on it since. Now, I will not confirm that Tailen does die or not, but that’s his current trajectory, unless he is flipped again or something, but it’s a story I thought would be interesting to tell, where we watch him slowly weaken in more ways than one. Though perhaps there is still a chance for him…
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Yeah, potato works🤣 potailento! If I used ipa standardized pronunciation, I would write it like “ei” not “ai” or po”ta”to, so day is actually pronounced like dei and potato is pronounced like poteito😂 But yes, you got it right with potato and day!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
@sarafini
Oh, thanks! I can help with worldbuilding. Me and my sister’s favorite method of growing ideas is simply talking about it, and that jogs our minds, and we walk away with a lot more developed ideas then when we didn’t. Do you think that would be a good way for you, or would you rather some other method of developing your world?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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That sounds good. So.. I have my idea figured out for Nanowrimo. Basically boils down to this: Sunny is teleported to a world he thinks he’s never been to. Problem is: He has amnesia. I haven’t figured out the plot completely but his doctor and nurse will be the ones who teleported him and they will be the villains.
@sarafini
Cool! Sounds like a whimsical Brandon Sanderson novel like Fugal Wizard or Alcatraz, is that an image you want to go for in the world? (Though I don’t know if you’ve read any of his writing to have a frame of reference.)
So to start, what do you want out of the world? Do you want hard or soft worldbuilding? Setting that up now will help the rest of the discussion, though I might unintentionally prod you to do hard worldbuilding, so please call me out if that’s not what is wanted😅
Go ahead and respond to this, but I need to get to work, but I’ll be back in a few hours!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Thank you for clarifying 😅 I probably explained that in the most convoluted way possible lol
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@sarafini
Ok, have you given my questions much thought?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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I’ve never tried either one. What’s the difference?
@sarafini
Oh, sorry, lol. I take the jargon for granted. Hard worldbuilding means a more concrete flushed out world that the readers can understand, whereas soft worldbuilding is more open possibilities where anything goes.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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Ah, then definitely hard. I don’t like soft worldbuilding.
@sarafini
Lol, ok, that makes things easy for me then😂
Ok, so you have an amnesia story. Sunny wakes up in a mysterious land he doesn’t know. So what is this land like? Is there magic? Is there strange creatures, is the land itself shaped in strange ways? Do fundamental parts of reality such as gravity carry different weight (hehe, pun unintended). Are there ways you could perhaps play with the fact that he has amnesia in the worldbuilding? Could the world itself be tied to concepts of memory as fundamental, perhaps being a cause of his loss of memory, or perhaps he is a great irony in this world, the loss of memory being an anomaly? When worldbuilding, you usually don’t want it to just be the backdrop to your world, it should actually be tied to the characters and plot, so are there any interesting ways to explore that you might consider?
Also, is there a separate forum that would be better for this discussion? This works if not, we already started here.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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