Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Short Story Critiques › The Legend of King Daeus
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April 14, 2017 at 9:48 pm #30641
Every personality type has their strong points and their weaknesses, no worries. Figuring out which is which can be hard. @f5a8c3e92
That aside…your profile picture was actually the wallpaper on my phone for quite some time. I love it!
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
April 15, 2017 at 1:05 am #30647Haha. Thanks, @that_writer_girl_99. It took me a good five minutes to decide which TARDIS picture I wanted to use…
"Not all who wander are lost."
Wild Australian. INXJ.April 16, 2017 at 10:23 pm #30763@dragon-snapper So I got here a week and a half late, read your incredible story, and then had to wade through 24 pages of personality type and Frozen rants just to see if you did a sequel yet π That was hilarious! And I’m seconding Brianna’s suggestion to refer to Josiah as βThe Wiserβ from now on π
Anyhoo, just thought I’d add my voice to the chorus of sequel requests π
April 16, 2017 at 11:16 pm #30768@dragon-snapper I agree with @sierra-r. A sequel would be brilliant!
"Not all who wander are lost."
Wild Australian. INXJ.April 17, 2017 at 11:15 pm #30946@ethryndrl Shhhhhh!!! Why ya gotta go and rat me out for the confetti? *ten pages late*
"When enemies attack your kingdom you don't flee you show them why it's your kingdom. With your lightsaber."
April 18, 2017 at 12:20 am #30949Anonymous- Rank: Wise Jester
- Total Posts: 77
@dragon-snapper
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS GREAT
*passes out cookies to make up for being late*
Dude I’d take a sequel <3 and I LOVE how you make fun of cliches xD
ahhhhh *sighs in satisfaction* so wonderful…April 19, 2017 at 6:50 pm #31072A dark vapor seeped through the cracks of the door as heavy footsteps echoed ever closer. Slowly. No…Methodically. Yeah, methodically would probably be the best word to describe the sound. A sound that was only interrupted by a brief silence, some murmuring and cursing about armor cinching up, and followed by what sounded like a metal boot creating dents in the door. Another brief silence. More murmuring about losing the dramatic effect by this point.
After yet another unnecessary pause, the door burst open abruptly, literally flying of its hinges as it indented itself into the wall that it was once attached to. Amidst the dark vapor pouring from the door stood a figure ornate and terrifying(ish). His right fist clad in a gauntlet and held up in some form of greeting, or maybe it was just stuck in the knocking position.
“At long last,” the dark overlord’s words slipped through his crooked smile as he strode forward, arm still held in the knocking position. “How kind of you to invite me to your sequel.” It was patronizingly obvious that the dark lord was trying to be patronizingly obvious. “However,” the dark overlord’s tone shifted as he glared @dragon-snapper. A glare that was hard to decipher as his arm was still stuck in the knocking position. “I do NOT play second in command to anyone as pathetic as Thran, or Throy, or whatever his name was.” The overlord’s hand waved around despite the rest of his arm remaining ridged. “I mean really! How could I,” the overlord’s finger pointed at himself from atop its metal clad pedestal, “be second in command to someone as forgettable and cliche as what’s-his-name? No! I will rule my own unstoppable army of rehashed monsters, thank you very much. So…yeah.”
The overlord started to leave (whatever it means to start to do something) when he turned back and pointed his oddly positioned finger @dragon-snapper. “And you know what else? Just because we’re villains doesn’t give you the right to make us lose all the time.” The overlord seems to be getting kind of choked up, making things awkward for everyone. “I mean, Darth Vader kind of made out pretty good, killing rebels or whatever. Why’d you gotta kill all those troll things and lock up what’s-his-name?” By this point the overlord is really losing his cool. Like, straight up tears are flowing. “I’m sorry, but some people just aren’t fulfilled until they’ve conquered everything. Is that any reason to lock them up? You…You… MEANY!”
Thankfully, the dark overlord began to storm out. His thunderous footsteps shook the room and the door was dislodged from the wall. As it fell, it collided with the overlord’s ridged arm. Despite its immensity and density, the overlord’s arm remained unmoved as it punched a hole through the wooden planks. The overlord stopped in his tracks, pursed his lips, and then sighed. “Could we um– Could we just pretend this never happened?” With that, the overlord awkwardly fandangled himself and the door through the vapor filled opening.
April 19, 2017 at 6:58 pm #31074As the dark vapor seeped out of the room, Dragon Snapper blinked at the door.Then, galvanized into action, she charged after the evil overlord, @michael-stanton. “Does that mean yes? You can be your own independent villain that’s not as cliche as Thran or Throy or whatever his name was!”
β β β ENFP β β β
April 19, 2017 at 6:59 pm #31075@michael-stanton Dragon Snapper will never stop laughing. I think I’ll be grinning all night after that. π
β β β ENFP β β β
April 19, 2017 at 7:11 pm #31076@dragon-snapper, Lol! You are free to use me in whatever capacity for your story you wish. I just wanted you to get an idea of what I could be as a villain in this sort of parody.
April 19, 2017 at 7:15 pm #31078@michael-stanton Emotional evil overlord? π No, I see what you can be, thank you. *bows*
@hope Michael Stanton is the evil overlord. Your petition is granted.β β β ENFP β β β
April 20, 2017 at 8:24 am #31132@michael-stanton *chokes* *swallows hard to refrain from dying so she can find out the rest of the story* Yessssssssssssssssss This shall be good.
And you know what else? Just because weβre villains doesnβt give you the right to make us lose all the time.
*bows to @dragon-snapper* Wes is looking forward to this muchly, Precious.
INTJ - Inhumane. No-feelings. Terrible. Judgment and doom on everyone.
May 5, 2017 at 9:23 pm #32487*slowly creeps forward with glinting pitiful eyes*
“Are there any other ENFP’s on here at all” she whispers quietly. @daeus @kate-flournoy Do you know any? I seem to be all alone in my ENFP-ness. It’s weird. I don’t really get all this other stuff, and I don’t want long discussions about it, I just know I’m who I am, and apparently that’s an ENFP. (Although, I do think that I am not so much of an extrovert. With people I know, sure, but stranger petrify me. And I like being alone.) Oh, and King Daeus, uh, what part can I play in the over-throwing of the world?Okay, @dragon-snapper THIS IS THE BESTIESTEST THING EVER AND THE FROGS AND RASPBERRIES AND BEARDS AND ICE CREAM AND DRAGONS AND THE WISER AND KING DAEUS AND OH MY GOODNESS I AM LAUGHING TOO HARD STOP IT BUT PLEASE PLEASE WRITE FIFTY BAJILLIONS SEQUELS!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, *shy grin and scuffing of feet* If you want to add me as a minor character, like a knight, I have short hair, I am always verbally correcting people’s grammar in the middle of their talking, I’m always mouthing words to myself, I love raw cookie dough, and I am short.
*wisps back into the shadows to await the sequel*
*creeps ecstatically back because…**Daeus… YOU LIKE LILY PADS TOO!? I LOVE them! I don’t know why, because they are sort of plain, but in the beautifull-est way. And the flower contrast and complement the green leaves so beautifully… I cannot believe I have found someone else who shares my weird love of these wonderful plants.
ENFP - "One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."
May 5, 2017 at 9:26 pm #32489@anne-of-lothlorien, @rolena-hatfield and @michael-stanton are ENFPS. I think there are some others, but they’re not coming to mind.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Daeus.
π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’π’
May 5, 2017 at 9:28 pm #32492@daeus The over-lord’s a villain?! *gasps* So that’s why he’s so emotional. We are extremely emotional people. I cry at everything the littlest bit sad. Everything.
What is the name of the fish that lives under the lily pads again?
ENFP - "One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."
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