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For some reason, Ian and Albee seemed really well developed, even though we didn’t get to see them for very long.
Yes! That’s exactly what I think as well!
"He who never quotes will never be quoted." ~Charles Spurgeon
My gosh, you have a lot of questions! 😂 Now I don’t feel bad for having a lot of questions for my stories!
"He who never quotes will never be quoted." ~Charles Spurgeon
~ Was the plot solid and engaging?
Pretty much!
~ Did the pacing feel consistent throughout the book? If not, where did it lag or feel dull?
It seemed that a lot of incidents were happening during the time that Leon and Rolf had their entire slavery journey compared to the rest of the story. There may have been a few lagging moments after that. It wasn’t that bad.
~Was there anything that seemed unbelievable or forced?
Nothing big stands out to me.
~ Were there any plot twists or surprises that stood out to you?
Oh yes. Rolf turning up was a total stun for me. And…*sob* Dietrich’s death!
~ Was the ending fitting and satisfying? (in the unsatisfying way that it was written 😄)
Yes. After I got over my shock of Dietrich’s death, the end had that bittersweet/adventure pull to it.
~ Were any parts of the story confusing or difficult to follow?
Aside from getting characters mixed up…not really.
~ Were there any unresolved plot threads you wish had been dealt with in this book?
I think of Albee’s story, but I enjoy how you left him in a cliffhanger.
However, would you explain the part when Leon is looking at the paintings? I don’t know who he’s thinking about…the girl that used to be with him…
~ Was the balance between action, dialogue and description smooth in the story?
There could have been more dialogue (especially in the journal entries). It would depend on how you want to write as well…and, of course, it can’t be too long…but I think some more dialogue in the journal entries may be nice.
~ Any theological concerns for the story?
No. I loved it! Some of the things encouraged/admonished me as I’m currently discovering some truths in my life with Jesus.
~ What would you say my worldview was?
The Good Spell.
~ What would you say was the message of the story?
Man is a sinner. Men can do nothing to save themselves. But through believing in Jesus’s sacrifice and repenting from their sins, they can be forgiven and change. Jesus is everything.
~Were the characters’ struggles dealt with effectively?
I believe so. Julian’s struggle after Leon was captured was good. I extremely enjoyed Albee’s, Ian’s, and Conrad’s struggles.
Extra:
~ What was your favorite part of the book overall?
When Leon and Rolf were in the other land as slaves. I greatly enjoyed that entire part.
~What was your least favorite part?
The beginning.
~Who was your favorite character?
Hmm…it’s hard to say my 1 top between the first three..but my favorites are Conrad, Rolf, Dietrich, Julian, Dian, and Albee.
~Who was your least favorite? (if you have one)
The priest who killed Dietrich…the guy who ordered Conrad to get whipped…Hassan
~Is there anything that you would say needs to be changed?
Eh, not really.
~ Which scenes would you want to see illustrations for?
OOHHHH!!!! Hmm…when the prince rides through on his horse, when the lion saves Rolf and his friends, when Leon announces he’s the White Knight or is looking at the paintings, when Leon and Julian reunite, when the rain comes down on the burning building, Leon and Rolf chained in the ship, Julian debating with the scholarly fellows.
~ What would you say the target audience of this book would be?
For children/young adults.
~ Any predictions for the next book?
Some people are going to die. Period. Hopefully, it won’t be Rolf. The church is going to get persecuted big time now.
~ Any other thoughts
Nope.
"He who never quotes will never be quoted." ~Charles Spurgeon
The slavery bit seems to be everyone’s fav. 😂
No…. I’m not gonna explain the painting scene. You and everyone else are in the dark and will just have to do your best to figure it out.🙃
Thanks for answering these!!
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
No…. I’m not gonna explain the painting scene. You and everyone else are in the dark and will just have to do your best to figure it out.🙃
WHAT?!
*sob*
How could you do that to us?!
"He who never quotes will never be quoted." ~Charles Spurgeon
Go bother @linus-smallprint
He’s the one who said to wait until the end of April for the next book. 🤷🏼♀️
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
https://1drv.ms/w/c/bcdce8f567320b25/ETDxCG51PcpJg0VV9oF5LxAB-hfZiwM2BGSvsV_bbcIq3w?e=sauIgi
That’s a messy looking link, that is. You should click on it. It might contains some Book feedback!!
Hopefully, Microsoft Word is still acceptable.
I didn’t get around to rereading the book this time. But this is what my thoughts are.
Please let me know if you have any questions or need any clarification.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Yay!!!!
aw, thanks for making me laugh. Smaug the laptop ate two years of historical research and I’m so not happy.
I’ll look at this right away!
btw, do you still need me to wait until April now that you sent this?
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Yikes! Bad Smaug!
btw, do you still need me to wait until April now that you sent this?
I suppose you could start earlier.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I know. *sobs*
Okay, sounds good. Maybe next week?
*sighs* some of this feedback is depressing. I wonder……. these books were written so long ago and comparing them to the stuff I have written now, they’re just not as good at all. Are they even worth trying to rewrite? Rewriting is so hard….. is the message and story one that needs to be told?
Hmmm.
sorry for the rant.
I’m thinking out loud. On paper.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
I wonder……. these books were written so long ago and comparing them to the stuff I have written now, they’re just not as good at all.
I feel you. I look back at some of my old work and I’m like “I wrote this??? Sheesh, this is terrible!”
But then sometimes I look back at my old work and I’m like “With a little reworking, this could be really good.”
Are they even worth trying to rewrite?
Unless you have something exponentially more important, I’d say go for it.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Unless you have something exponentially more important, I’d say go for it.
Why? What reason do I have?
(not to sound dark or depressed. But is it truly worth it?)
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
@ellette-giselle not gonna lie, I’ve never seen you as….as…. *gestures to your depressed posts* this. Critics are likely gonna say way worse about your book, and won’t be as nice as Linus or any of the rest of us about it. It’s just the life of an author.
Also, remember, you can say no to feedback. If you don’t agree with something he said, whether it’s theologically, prose-wise, plot-wise, whatever, you don’t have to follow it.
Y’know what? Ask God about it. If He wants you to continue the series, He’ll show you how to do it.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Oh It’s not just @linus-smallprint. He just said a few things that have already been bothering me in the back of my mind. It’s this aggravating struggle to rewrite something and pull it out of the ditch of not-so-great writing and up to the level I have worked to achieve now.
It’s always been a story that’s been close to my heart, but I don’t know.
I am just super depressed today. And everything is going wrong. And it’s raining.
I guess I’ll just try to push through and see what happens by the end of the last book.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
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