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Yup. Julian got hit hard….
Also, I have a character named Julian as well! He was once a haughty prince…until he got turned into a unicorn. My story was a twist of the “Frog Prince”.
"He who never quotes will never be quoted." ~Charles Spurgeon
Sorry, didn’t get tagged yesterday. I think Linus has a valid concern about the scene with Julian and Dian, but moving the scene where Julian shares the Gospel with him to a day or so later would fix it, in my opinion.
I think it was nice to see Julian argue with God a little bit. It’s slightly a different reaction than you’ve shown before, like Linus said.
I think I tend to lean toward Linus’s reaction, blaming myself rather than God. I haven’t gone through anything like Julian and Leon are, though. I think I would typically be afraid for whatever could happen, and pray for God to change or fix the situation that I’m in instead of blaming Him for where it’s already gone. For example, in Julian’s case, I would be disappointed and scared, but I think I would be praying more for Leon and Rolf’s safety and for God to lead them back before arguing with Him and complaining yet, since I don’t know for sure what’s happened. However, I’m sure if the situation didn’t change and only got increasingly worse, I might start to argue and complain. If I knew for sure that Leon and Rolf had died, I could see myself disappointed and angry with God. But as it is, Julian doesn’t really know what’s happened yet. He knows they were kidnapped and taken by former slave traders, but there’s still hope for them. However, as impulsive and emotion-driven as Julian is, I think this reaction fits him better. For Leon, however, as you show him in the beginning of the section, he kind of has the stereotypical reaction Linus mentioned that a lot of your characters seem to have. Leon is more cautious and logical, typically, right? Obviously after days of hard travel, neglect, and cruelty, he’s exhausted, sore, and worried. I think you could lean into this more, maybe. Instead of having him only question why God has brought them there, you could have him praying for God to save them before the slave traders try to kill them, or for God to give them an opportunity to escape. He could even pray for a chance to share the Gospel with these men. He could still be frustrated and disappointed with God, but have it also be mixed with a prayer to be saved.
I don’t know, just some thoughts. You can take it or leave it. Otherwise, I liked the section!
The KP WITNESS PROTECTION has been initiated to protect characters from their authors. Beware.
@ellette-giselle I agree with @hybridlore ‘s statements! I think that bit about Leon’s reaction might’ve been what I felt was missing from the scene.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
oh man. I have had some of the WORST sprains ever!! One took almost two months to heal!
Roland’s is not as severe, and he has been off of it for four days and as you can see he starts limping when they travel again.Oooh! I love Dian!
you just love sailor characters. 😝
Is that why you like him? Or for other reasons too?
As for what was said, it’s “Dian, come here I need help now.” I think. I’ll have to double check. 😝
Pfft!! What!! A unicorn! That’s insane. 😂
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
okay!! Thanks for the suggestions!! I’ll rework a few scenes.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
@ellette-giselle okay then!!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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