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Okay…. I could wait I day.
Glad you found that interesting!!
Have you read the latest section I posted yesterday? I couldn’t tell from the feedback how far you still were. (trying to figure out how long I need to pause.)
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Yes, I am all caught up. No, I did not get your reply. Probably Gmail deciding it is the superior email system, throwing it out before I get it.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Hmm, okay. Well that’s odd.
Okay, so you have reached the point where Roland is injured.
No thoughts on the assassination attempt?
idk what I ended up saying.
Okay…. let me go look.
Thanks for the feedback! I’m glad the characters are becoming more alive! Hybridlore would disagree with you on not having all of Leon’s story. š She’s been begging for the rest. I like drawing out the suspense and mystery, but I also don’t want it to be frustrating or people to just forget all together, so let me know if it hits that point.
OH.
So on the editing thing, what I’ll be doing is critical beta reading. Not really editing for grammar or such, but just giving critical feedback on manuscripts. I do a lot of that on KP which is why i thought of asking you and a few others if I could reference those things. However, if you’d rather I not that is 100% fine. I already have a few references, plus the books that I’ve edited that are now published. So if you want to wait or not do it at all, that’s totally fine.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Would you be okay with me moving on? I don’t need you to give instant feedback if you’re unable to keep up.
If you really need me to wait a day though then I can.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Oh, never mind. I assumed there were only two sections posted when I was unable to log in. Now I see that third one. I will go read it right away!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I thought so.
A lot happened in that last section that I was hoping on feedback for, so it was surprising when you didn’t say anything. XD
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
āGovernor,ā the man said, bowing low. āThe gods have a message for you.ā Before anyone had a chance to speak, he shot his hand out like a serpent striking and thrust it at Walterās chest.
Ah, so that’s the assassination attempt. This raises the tension somewhat; not so sure what the impact will be in the long run though, as this man was intreasted in the governor and not the protagonists.
āAs a boy I saw you once. You were a symbol of hope to many of us, but for all the wrong reasons. Now, you are a messenger of hope sent by the King of kings.ā
Funny how times change.
āI think I turned my ankle,ā Roland said.
I thought he might want to turn back and no longer continue with them at this point, seeing this as a sign to return to his village and be with Liesle (if I spelled that right). But he seems determined to keep going for the moment.
Julian rifled about in his pack for their cooking pot and handed it to Aelic. āGo and get some then, but for goodnessā sake donāt you fall and sprain your ankle.ā
Julian is sounding a bit like a mother here. (I’m not sure if it is his warning or just the way he says the warning.)
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Drawing out surprise and mystery is a good idea. Hybridlore may want to know it all now, but she has more reason to keep reading now. Sometimes, it is even a good idea to never reveal but only hint, to allow the reader to piece it all together herself.
As for the editing thing again, I see what you are saying now. I guess that would be fine.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I thought he might want to turn back and no longer continue with them at this point, seeing this as a sign to return to his village and be with Liesle (if I spelled that right). But he seems determined to keep going for the moment.
Yeah, Roland’s pretty stubborn.
Julian is sounding a bit like a mother here. (Iām not sure if it is his warning or just the way he says the warning.)
Hmm. That’s funny.
In my mind he says it in a joking way. Is that the impression you get? And if so, does it still sound like a mother?Drawing out surprise and mystery is a good idea. Hybridlore may want to know it all now, but she has more reason to keep reading now. Sometimes, it is even a good idea to never reveal but only hint, to allow the reader to piece it all together herself.
Thank you. This was what I was thinking, but she started to make me doubt that is a good idea. Now that i have affirmation, the secret shall be buried once more.
As for the editing thing again, I see what you are saying now. I guess that would be fine.
Hey, this is your book. You’ve put a tone into this, and like I said, I’ve been getting the go-ahead from several people. This is totally up to you, and if you have any hesitation we’ll skip it.Or we can even wait until they’re published. I’m at the point where I have enough references to get off the ground, so I don’t need it anymore. So if you want to wait or not do it at all, it’s not going to hurt my chances.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
In my mind he says it in a joking way. Is that the impression you get? And if so, does it still sound like a mother?
No, I didn’t get that impression much. Maybe if you had mentioned him smiling, I imagined him with a serious/lecturing frown on his face as he said this.
Actually, this makes me think more of my grandma or sisters, but it just seems like a motherly thing to do if done is seriousness.
Hey, this is your book. Youāve put a tone into this, and like I said, Iāve been getting the go-ahead from several people. This is totally up to you, and if you have any hesitation weāll skip it.Or we can even wait until theyāre published. Iām at the point where I have enough references to get off the ground, so I donāt need it anymore. So if you want to wait or not do it at all, itās not going to hurt my chances.
Sorry. Sometimes, I shy away from commitment and speak with uncertainty (that’s one of the ways my character, Eric, is like me). Maybe waiting until they are published would be a good idea, but yes, I will let you use them as a reference.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Okay, I’ll fix that. He was supposed to be joking. If he was joking would it work?
Sorry. Sometimes, I shy away from commitment and speak with uncertainty (thatās one of the ways my character, Eric, is like me). Maybe waiting until they are published would be a good idea, but yes, I will let you use them as a reference.
Sure thing! I’ll wait until they’re published. š
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Ā If he was joking would it work?
I think so. Make Aelic respond with another joke as well. Even if it just making a funny expression and saying “Ah”
Sure thing! Iāll wait until theyāre published. š
Sounds good!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Got it.
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
Actually, you know what would be funny? If one of the guys’ minds went in the same direction as mine and said something like ‘Yes, mom’ to Julian. And then, he would be stuck with that nickname for the rest of the story.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Ha!
That’s kind of funny, but Julian would KILL anyone who did that to him.
Plus it seems a little cliched.
BUT, it was funny. XD
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
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