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Hey!! What’s up, how have you been? I’m really sorry that I wasn’t responding for a while, but I’m just about done with the first part, is it okay if I read and give you some thoughts about the second one? It’s really good so far, Everett is definitely my favorite (always love a musical man).
"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc
Hey! I’m doing pretty good, how are you?
No worries, I know the end of the school year is chaotic. ? I’ll add you to the new doc!
Thanks! Glad you like him. ? He’s one of my favorites too.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @whalekeeper @theshadow
New chapters!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
Can you please put them on Word?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
They should be on there, but it might take a minute. Sometimes I have to reload mine for it to work.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
aha. Thanks
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
I’m good, thanks. Thank you for adding me!!
"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc
@theshadow @ellette-giselle @keilah-h @theducktator @whalekeeper
New chapters!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
@theshadow @whalekeeper @ellette-giselle @linus-smallprint @theducktator @keilah-h
New chapters!! There’s a bundle of them, but yes, this is the end. ?
Let me know when you’ve finished, and I’ll try to put together some questions about the larger arc of the book.
Thank you guys so much for reading! Your encouragement and comments have been so fun to read, and your feedback has been really helpful. I’m hoping to start working on the second book soon, but I think I may put that one out for beta-reading once it’s finished (Lord willing) instead of posting as I write it. We’ll see.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
@hybridlore I can’t wait to read it!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Lovely. You disabled copy and paste on the doc. Now I have to do it all the hard way. XD
Okay, feedback answers.
OVERALL
What was your overall impression of the story?
Not sure entirely what you are looking for, but I walked away feeling really excited for the next book and also really refreshed as this is one of my favorite genres and it’s very hard to find not only clean, but Christian books for it.
What did you like most about it?
Can I say everything? XD
I LOVED the characters, the setting, the feel, the twists… all of it.
Was there anything you didn’t like about it?
I would have to say the idea of Everett’s mom leaving. The Bible says that the Believing wife is to remain submissive to her unbelieving husband and not leave him, that she may set an example for him and bring him to salvation through her actions.
CHARACTERS
Were the main characters engaging?
I think they were well rounded and well balanced. I would have liked more of Alec’s chapters, but not because he was under developed as much as he’s my favorite character.
Did the characters have clear goals and motivations?
Yes. They did. And as I’ve said a few times now, I am really impressed by how well you did that and how understandable each character’s choice is.
Any characters who were hard to keep track of/unnecessary?
No. I don’t think so. At first I would say Sara’s old school friends but they are actually needed, and while they slip out of the story, it works. So yeah, I’d say no.
PLOT
Notes on the plot, rearrange scenes?
Nope. It all flowed super well, unless I made a note in the doc.
Flow of the book?
It was good and worked really well, (unless otherwise noted on the doc)
Anything unclear or confusing.
Nope. (Unless I made a note of it)
Was the plot predictable?
Yes and no. Yes in a good way, actually. And there were plenty of twists along the way.
Any scenes that should go?
First off, why? Why would you need to trim it? I like it the way it is, and I feel like every scene was either essential to the plot or the character development. (unless otherwise noted.)
Was there anything that wasn’t covered enough?
No, I don’t think so.
Unfulfilled expectations?
None that can’t and most likely won’t be covered in a sequel.
Were the themes clear?
Yes, very.
Balance?
Beautifully done.
SPECIFIC TO THE STORY
Sara’s motivation to believe
I wouldn’t touch it, actually. It was done very well, very gently, and felt very real.
Cole’s motives.
I’ve said this before, but it’s so true! He is one of the best anti-type-heroes I’ve read in a while. He has clear motives and they seem right to him, and what’s scary, he believes they are right and is willing to do anything to stand by that belief.
Alec’s motives.
Motives to do what? He didn’t seem to have much of an overarching motive besides loyalty to his job and also believing, like Cole, that he was doing what was right. If that’s what you mean, then I think it makes a lot of sense.
Opposition to religion.
I am still unclear on the whole guardian attack, and as it is a motivator for many choices in this book, I think it needs to be made clear, and the sooner the better in the story. If Sara could read an article about it, like maybe when she’s studying for the essay she failed, or if they have some sort of lesson in school covering it, like maybe an anniversary type “on this day… etc.” in history class, that would be really helpful.
FINAL NOTES
It was really, really well done! Amazing job, Hybridlore!!! It was super good!!
(Also, if I made a note on the doc that contradicts anything I said here then it just means I forgot about the note, so don’t disregard it. XD)
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Huh, weird. I didn’t do that intentionally, but it might be because you don’t have an account anymore. ?
Thank you so much!!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
lol. Maybe.
Glad it was helpful!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Awesome, thank you so much!!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
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