- This topic has 6,581 replies, 59 voices, and was last updated 15 hours, 18 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Because I got bored…
@freed_and_redeemed @savannah_grace2009 @theducktator @keilah-h @whalekeeper @loopylinThis is a Chase scene I wrote a little while ago, i think near the end of last year. Sorry, it’s really cringy. Chase is around 14 or so.
Sarah Marshall brushed the brown lock of hair that had escaped her pony tail out of her eye. A smile etched across her face as she sang a soft song while overseeing the popping of the popcorn.
“I’ll need to get another bit of butter out soon,” She commented to herself, as she measured out the kernels for the next batch of popcorn. As the first batch finished, she turned around to get the butter, running into a boy that had been standing behind her silently. “I’m sorry, Chase. I didn’t know you were there.” The black-haired boy made no response. Eyes directed at the floor, he held up the butter. She thanked him, turned around and began popping the popcorn again, after dumping the first batch into a bowl. To Sarah’s surprise, Chase took the bowl, walked out of the kitchen without touching one kernel and set it gently on the center table in the living room in front of the movie screen. Eyes still on the ground, Chase turned around and made his way back to Sarah. Sarah smiled as she saw her son, Nick, jump over the couch after the bowl of fresh popcorn, shouting his claim on the bowl.
“Why don’t you go join Nick, Chase? I’m good.” Chase reached over and measured out the popcorn kernels for Sarah before she could reach them. “I’m serious Chase. You don’t have to help.” Chase’s black eyes lit up, his eyebrows lifted. For an instant, Sarah got the impression that the message had finally got through. She was wrong. Chase grabbed the salt shaker and marched back to the living room. He came back, and set the salt back on the counter, content at having completed his mission of salting the popcorn.
As Sarah emptied the second batch of popcorn and went to make the third, Chase grabbed her arm. She looked at him curiously.
“What is it?”
Chase opened his mouth, his lips trying to form a word, but it didn’t seem to want to come out. “Oy…Oy-lll”
“Oil?”
Chase nodded.
“What about oil?”
“A-add pob…popk-karn…pop…corn. Popcorn.”
Sarah scrunched her eyebrows. Add Popcorn? To oil? What does he mean? Chase, seeing her confusion, tried again.
“Mow…moth-er y-years aga, ago made popcorn oy…oy…”
“Your mother, years ago, made popcorn oil?” Chase looked up at Sarah with his black eyes. His breathing was panicked, stressed. Sarah’s sentence didn’t sound right. He tried again.
“A-add…ed oy-oil popcorn.”
“She added oil to popcorn?” Chase’s eyes lit up, flashing green for a second as he nodded. “Instead of butter?” Chase nodded again. “Okay, we can try that.” Sarah smiled at her foster son as she grabbed the bottle of cooking oil. “Do you remember how much?”
Chase looked around the room nervously, before closing his eyes, scrunching his eyebrows together. Finally, he opened his eyes.
“Three…spoo…ns? I-I think.”
“It’s worth a try.” Sarah smiled again. One side of Chase’s mouth cracked enough that Sarah could see a glimpse of white teeth. The closest Chase usually got to a smile.
Chase grabbed the second bowl of popcorn and ambled back to the living room where now eight kids besides Nick were gathered to begin Movie Night. The once every month occurrence when they got to stay up as late as they wanted watching movies. It was one of four different large family activities the Marshall clan of twelve did each week.
While Chase was delivering the bowl of popcorn, Roger, Sarah’s husband, came in and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her hair.“Movie night already. Weeks just keep getting shorter. What are you doing with the oil?”
“I know, this looks weird but Chase said his mother used to do this. I’m curious.”
“Did he specify to use Grapeseed oil or is that just you?”
Sarah looked at the glass bottle of oil in surprise as she held the third spoonful in her other hand. “Just me. He didn’t say, but I meant to use the less expensive oil.” She shrugged as she put the last spoonful in with the unpopped kernels. “To late now.”
Chase soon came back, but he froze when he saw Roger. Instead of coming back to Sarah’s side, he went and leaned against the refrigerator, his eyes at the floor again. A bit of sadness came into Roger’s soft blue eyes. Sarah patted his hand that still rested around her waist.
“He’ll warm up to you one day,” She whispered.
As the batch of popcorn with the grapeseed oil finished, Roger took it and walked over to Chase, who recoiled slightly as Roger held out the bowl to him. There was a kind smile, and a soft, inviting look to Roger’s features, but Chase didn’t lift his eyes.
“Take some,” Roger told him, gently. Slowly, Chase reached out his hand, the one with the white scar on the back, and grabbed a couple kernels. He nibbled at them, his gaze still fixated upon the ground.
“Are they like your mothers, Chase?” Sarah inquired. Chase nodded. Roger tried a few and gave Sarah a thumbs up.
“Could use a little less salt, but I think I like it better than the buttered stuff.” He turned away from Chase, and got a medium-sized ceramic bowl down from the cupboard and poured the little bowl into it. “Why not have two different kinds tonight?”
“Roger, while you’re here, could you get the big bowl down, please? Chase already gave the others the two small bowls while they wait.”
Roger nodded, eyes looking up at the cupboard while he set the two bowls in his hands down on the counter. As he was about to let go of the bowls, he felt something bump against his arm, and the corner of his eye caught a black streak. Looking down, he realized that with his eyes on the cupboard, he was about to set the larger bowl precariously on the edge. Chase was pushing it to safety. Roger smiled down at him. “Thank you, Chase.” Chase submissively slinked away, almost like a beaten dog. Roger sighed and got Sarah’s large popcorn bowl.
“Thank you, Roger.” Roger nodded, kissed her on the cheek and walked into the now chaotic living room to settle a dispute about which movie to watch first. With nine kids who all wanted to pick movies (Chase never would tell them what movie he wanted) mediating the arguments was an essential part of movie night.
The fact that Chase never would tell them what movies he liked always bothered Sarah. Roger too. He never told them his favorite game, his favorite craft, his favorite activity. The only time Sarah or Roger ever heard him say something along the lines of favorites was “I like green.” And that, for all they knew could be nothing, for Chase used the simple sentence as another way to say “I’d like to have a conversation.”
“Guys, what do you think of letting Chase pick out the first movie?” Jenny asked.
“Ha! Like he would ever pick a movie!” Nick responded.
“N-nick’s ry-righ–“
“Just pick one, Chase. What’s one you used to watch when you were little?” Jenny’s quiet voice somehow carried into the kitchen. Jenny was a kind soul, despite her blindness.
“I-I n-n–“
“Sarah, you pick one. Chase doesn’t have to pick tonight,” Roger interrupted. Relief spread across Chase’s face.
Sarah sighed. “I choose Arrow Fly?”
Nick groaned. “Not that one!”
“What’s the matter with it?” Jenny asked. “I find the main character’s voice very pleasant.”
“Yeah, but you can’t see how bad the effects are. That movie is so old-fashioned!”
Sarah, twenty minutes later, marched into the living room and set the two bowls of popcorn on the center table. Sitting down next to her husband, she rested her head on his shoulder, weaving her hand in with his. It was then that she realized there were only nine children. Chase wasn’t there. She almost got up, but Chase came into view, setting the salt, pepper, and cheese shakers next to the popcorn. He glanced around him nervously. The only place left was the end of the couch, next to Mr. Marshall. Chase sat down without a word.
Around ten thirty that night, while into the fifth movie, Roger felt a weight on his left shoulder. As Hector shouted in delight at a climatic point in the movie, Roger hushed him, pointing to his left. Sarah peered over and smiled.
Chase had fallen asleep on Roger’s shoulder.
Whether Chase meant to, or had just been in a state of half-consciousness and didn’t realize what he was doing, she didn’t know. She guessed the latter. No matter, the simple fact that Chase had fallen asleep on the man he had lived in fear of for no reason made her happy.
“Gargoyles and thickets, griffins and briskets."
Oh, I like your scene! It’s sweet (: I don’t think it’s cringey.
Although I do have one question. How is it only ten-thirty at night if they’re on their FIFTH movie? If each one was somewhere from an hour and a half to two hours, they would have had to have started in early to mid afternoon?
Home is where your massive, overflowing collection of LEGO bricks is.
😭😭😖😩😭😞 (*sad noises*) 😖😖😭😭😭😭😩😭
Home is where your massive, overflowing collection of LEGO bricks is.
Yeah, I think I did my math wrong, it should be closer to like their third movie.
“Gargoyles and thickets, griffins and briskets."
@rae The baby 😭 And I don’t think it’s cringy at all! I very much love it <3 and poor Chase, the baby.
@rae @highscribeofaetherium @theducktatorHeh
Riker still has a bit of a journey ahead of him, but I’m in the final stretch of Broken Shackles (almost at 50k!!!) and I promise redemption is ahead 💖
What is strength?
Strength, my son, is being who God has called you to be.But Leon has to get his redemption first🫢🤫
What is strength?
Strength, my son, is being who God has called you to be.That was so sweet!
Congrats on almost 50k!
But Leon has to get his redemption first🫢🤫
Yesss, poor Leon.
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
@free_and_redeemed
Oh, Cool! Also, congrats on all your progress on the story.
In continuation of Freedom’s Fire…
The second world war has finally come to an end, and both Leon Wagner and Riker Schind are living with the aftermaths of war and tragedy.
The struggles of post-war Germany lay heavy on them both,
and hardships still lie before them.
Neither one of them know what to do or where to go next,
and the pain of their pasts is far from faded.
Will Leon heal from his deep pain? Will his faith be restored?
Will he finally forgive those that wronged him?
Will Riker’s guilt consume him? Will he realize that there is no sin
so great that God can’t forgive? Will he learn to forgive himself?
And will both of them finally come to the only One that can break the
shackles that keep them bound?
So what I’m getting from this is that you are telling me what their arcs are and what will happen over the course of the series.
For instance, you said ‘will he learn to forgive himself?”
You are telling me his arc is about forgiving himself, and at some point in the series he will. I think the readers can figure that much out on their own, as applies to some of the other lines. I’d really like to know what’s new in the series. What’s the new challenge? is it just a continuation of the old arcs in a new time period? How does post war change affect things? I like how you’re asking questions, but I think it’s better to leave that as subtext for the readers to wonder about. I’d like to hear a couple lines about where they are now and what plot challenges are facing them. I don’t remember what’s in your second book, but maybe…
Ok I’ve totally forgotten what’s in your second book sorry lol.
“Riker’s return home has stirred up old feelings of resentment.”
This would make me want to read the book because it lacks some information. What feelings of resentment? Oh… I remember his old arc from book one.. how would returning home affect his feelings? Instead of telling me his emotions of guilt and possible forgiveness, it leaves it open and mysterious.
Sorry for the rant, I’m no blurb expert, it’s just what comes to mind. I don’t know what I’m doing but hopefully it helps lol.
Anyways, those are just my thoughts on it.
"Than finish it... Because I'm with you till the end of the line." <3
@rae That was a really sweet scene and I love all the side characters (Jenny especially) <3
“Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help mom with the dishes.”
@mineralizedwritings Thank you very much for your thoughts!! 💖 @theducktator @rae @loopylin @whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009 @anyone-else-idk-lolllll
Y’all know how books usually have a dedication page? Well, I dedicated Freedom’s Fire to my family, but I wanted to know what everyone thought about this dedication.
This one is for Broken Shackles, and I thought it was way more fitting, given what happens in Broken Shackles and just in general, to make the dedication still specific, but more vague.
But anywhooo, what do y’all think about a dedication that says this👇
To the one whose faith is broken and whose hope is shattered, to the one who is only hanging by a single thread, looking for a spark of light.
This is for you.
What is strength?
Strength, my son, is being who God has called you to be.@freed_and_redeemed ooh I like that!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@keilah-h Thank you. I love it too <3
What is strength?
Strength, my son, is being who God has called you to be.@freed_and_redeemed you’re welcome!!
I always dedicate my books to the people that the book is about…..my book on siblings was dedicated to my brother, my book on music was dedicated to musicians, etc.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@theducktator Thank you 💖💖💖
What is strength?
Strength, my son, is being who God has called you to be.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.