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April 22, 2024 at 2:54 pm #179015
I’m liking it! I’m very much liking it!
(also I know this is a WW2 historical fiction story but I can’t help but imagine them as having technological advancements for some reason. Maybe it’s because the way this story is going, it kinda reminds me of what my brother and I come up with.)
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
April 22, 2024 at 3:36 pm #179016I like how the female duck is called Serpentine, a long, majestic, complicated name (how’d she get it anyway?) and then the male duck is just Bob. Brilliant.
I named Bob when I was 8-ish, and it just stuck. As for Serpentine, Queen Natalie had a group of spy ducks that I named after rocks and minerals at one point. It has since been disbanded, but I found that name looking through lists of random rocks. I also have Amethyst, Emerald, Amber, Periclase, Jet, Jasper, Topaz, and probably others I’m forgetting. XD
Ending’s a bit choppy, but that’s nothing editing can’t fix.
👍
There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
April 22, 2024 at 3:46 pm #179017@theducktator That’s cool!! I like the other gem names too.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
April 22, 2024 at 3:53 pm #179018@theducktator *offers tissues* I teared up too😭
@koshka Uhmmmmm SPOILERS XD
@keilah-h and still koshkaI’m so glad y’all like it so far!!
I make no promises that any specific person will survive, although I don’t think I could kill Matthias…I have become too attached already😂 It happened so fast💖
nor do I think I could part with Moishe…
although…uhm…
I think I know who WILL die for certain
😭
✨ who the Son sets free is free indeed ✨
April 22, 2024 at 4:11 pm #179019@freed_and_redeemed IDK who’s gonna die but I know for sure it’s gonna be tragic.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
April 22, 2024 at 5:11 pm #179022@keilah-h @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @lightoverdarkness6 @whalekeeper @theducktator @rae @loopylin @mineralizedwritings @smiley @godlyfantasy12 @highscribeofaetherium @anyone-else-pls-helpppppppp-XD
Ok, so I have a bit of a plot hole.
For those of y’all who don’t know, I have five characters (all of whom are MC’s in their own novel) who I have deemed “The Bois”. They are five brothers from WW2 era Germany who have a German father but a Jewish mother. The Bois (Leo, 26. Joshua, 25. Jakob, 23. Reuben, 19. Wolfgang, 16.) live with their father, stepmother, two older stepbrothers, and two younger half sisters.
Felix (their father) divorced Adinah (their birth mother) on false charges of infidelity, although his real reason was that she was Jewish, and he didn’t want to be under suspicion/began to hate Jews.
but here’s where I have the plot hole.
According to Nazi Germany (and just logic, lol) that makes The Bois 1/2 Jewish (not necessarily by Hebrew standards, but by German standards, i.e. The Nuremburg Race Laws)…so that begs the question:
Why did Felix keep them but forced Adinah to leave?
I’ve been wondering this question for a while and just not really sure how to answer it yet. He divorced Adinah when Wolfgang was only a few months old, so he’s kept The Bois without Adinah in the picture for 16 years.
But if he really does agree with Hitler and hate the Jews (and he does), why did he choose to keep Leo, Joshua, Jakob, Reuben, and Wolfgang?
anyone have any ideas/thoughts?
Thanks <3
✨ who the Son sets free is free indeed ✨
April 22, 2024 at 6:12 pm #179028He could have kept them because they are his biological kids and he couldn’t bear to give them up. 🤷♂️
By orthodox Jewish standards though they are like fully Jews because Orthodox Judaism is matrilineal.
April 22, 2024 at 7:10 pm #179032*accepts tissues* His poor baby.
“The Bois?” I like it. Okay, for the plot hole. Since Felix divorced Adinah on false charges of infidelity, a good reason for a divorce if it weren’t false, instead of just kicking her out, I would assume he cares about what people think of him. A wife is decently easy to get rid of without causing scandal, but if he cares about his status in the community, it would be difficult to get rid of 5 kids, one only a baby. He could have just kept them because he didn’t have a good way to get rid of them. Does he love them at all, or not? If not, my question is why doesn’t he kick the older ones out? Why does he let adults live with him, if he hates them? Are they useful to him in any way? How long does Adinah survive after the divorce? Is he the only legal guardian? Do the kids look Jewish?
Hopefully that helps.
- This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by The Ducktator.
There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
April 22, 2024 at 7:24 pm #179034Hmm, that is a bit of a pickle.
Perhaps he was originally just afraid of (and a little bit for) Adinah. He didn’t hate them at first (that’s not something that happens overnight). He kept the boyd because, at the root, he did at first still love Adinah (and them) and vaguely wanted to keep them safe.
Also, he doesn’t have to make Total sense. When people’s emotions get involved in stuff, they tend to loose a bit of their rationality.
He may not totally hate the Jews until later (possibly influenced by his second wife), which may be influenced by pain/bitterness over his divorce (cause ripping two souls apart hurts no matter what).
Maybe he reasoned he could “make them German.” That they didn’t have to be Jewish at all/he could somehow erase that part of them. His second wife (who is evil) hates them period.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkApril 22, 2024 at 10:36 pm #179038So a couple (by Southern definition) thoughts popped into my head as I read your plea.
- Exactly what @theducktator said about social status. Honestly, I’d find it kinda weird if the husband dumped not only the wife who commited the supposed crime but also the children. He has no reason. Why would he dump the kids for no aparant reason?
- Since their half-German, he could believe they aren’t hopeless, that they still have some good blood. Especially young Wolfgang, who he could potentially brainwash into being German. But you can’t easily dispose of the other children and only keep the baby. That’d be suspicious. If anything, it’d only make sense flipped around; the mother raising the youngest.
- I doubt he truly hates the bois. At least, not yet. If you look at humans, even the cruelest, hardest people find something or someone they love. Couple this with them only being half-Jew, plus maybe the social status if so choose, and I find a pretty good reason. Maybe not spiderweb strong* but strong enough I think nonetheless.
That’s what I got. Honestly, put yourself into Felix’s Character Cloak and walk around a bit. Actually, I suggest doing one better and go time traveling! Start with when he first met Adinah, then go through their romance. The birth of their sons. Notable events. Finally, skip to when he begins to hate her, and then when they split holy matrimony. Does he feel any love at all? Is it all engulfed in hate, or is there some deep place in his being where the toss of her hair and the light in her eyes still enchants him? Then switch to his feelings for the Bois. Does he feel duty to the children? A duty to raise them in German The Party ideology? Look for love, or the products of love. If you find nothing, my entire post means nothing, but if you find a tiny spark…
Then skip to the future when Wolfgang is 16. How does Felix feel now? Is there still a possible tint spark left or has it been snuffed out?
And that’s all the advice I can give.
*there was a study that found spider webbing is stronger than steal. So if spider webs were a thick as a steal cable, no blade-weilding Hobbit is gonna slice that, enchanted blade or no!
"You need French Toast."
April 23, 2024 at 11:24 am #179042@folith-feolin @theducktator @rae @koshka
Thank y’all for all of your thoughts! They were IMMENSELY helpful!! (and I realized something about Frida {the stepmother} today that I didn’t realize before…let’s just say she deserves the nickname “Evil Lady” even more now😭😡 poor Felix *sobs*)
and with that, I will be changing Felix a bit (mostly making him not so cruel, showing love in random moments, etc.) and I really like how he’s changed already. Truthfully, I don’t think he has a complete hatred of Jews. Divorcing Adinah was more of a thing to keep his image up (and that relates to his inner struggle, tbh) and not really out of hatred for Jews. He probably hates Jews more now than he did then, although deep inside he still loves The Bois because they are his sons…they are literally his flesh and blood (and Leo looks so much like him, y’all, besides the fact that he has darker hair, darker eyes, and slightly darker skin…but their faces look so similar)
anyways, I kinda wanna share what I realized about Frida today.
Sooo I have called Frida “Evil Lady” for a long time now due to her hatred/abuse of The Bois. But with y’all’s thoughts/ideas and my own brain working overtime this morning, 😅😂, I realized that she has earned that nickname for another reason as well
Frida is known to be a gas lighter. She is known to be manipulative of The Bois.
So if she gaslights and manipulates her stepsons…
why wouldn’t she do the same to her husband?
Hear me out, ok?? 😅
I have come to the conclusion that Frida never married Felix out of her supposed love for him. She knew it would be difficult to stay a single mother/woman in general following the death of her first husband, Adolf Schmidt. So, one day, she met Felix Baumann, a man who had recently divorced his wife (and was dealing with the pain of that, btw…beginning to already question if it was the right thing to do or if he should try to gain Adinah back) and had five motherless boys that he couldn’t possibly take care of on his own.
She took advantage of such a fact, noting that she had two sons of her own that were lacking a father. She quickly became a favorite of Heinrich and Matilda (Felix’s parents), both of whom had already been pressuring Felix to remarry even though it had only been maybe two months since he’d divorced Adinah.
She showed care to his five sons and her own two sons and became very present in the Baumann family circle.
Felix wasn’t sure at first, but still unsure where he would go next, still torn over his divorce with Adinah, pressured by his family (minus Hans) to remarry and to remarry Frida, Felix was leaning in that direction.
Frida told him she loved him…Frida showed that she loved him…Frida convinced Felix that she loved him more than life itself.
Within four months, he and Frida were married, and it was the first time in Felix’s life that he made his parents proud.
But Frida truly doesn’t love him…never has. She wanted his wealth. She wanted a place to live with her sons. And truthfully? She wanted a man who would listen to her, even obey her.
And Felix doesn’t even know or realize.
He’s known abuse and manipulation his entire life (minus when he was with Adinah), so he’s blind to all of it. He bends to whatever Frida wants, fearing that if he doesn’t, she won’t love him, the one person in Felix’s life that he feels will truly love him forever.
but Frida doesn’t love him. She wonders what woman could ever genuinely love a man as broken as Felix.
But Felix doesn’t see the true manipulation, even abuse that Frida projects upon him. He doesn’t know her true feelings.
Hans tries to tell him that Frida is only manipulating him, but Felix doesn’t listen. Hans is with the love of his life…Eleanor has loved Hans for years and seems as though she will never stop loving him…so what does Hans know? (Hans vehemently DESPISES Frida, y’all😅)
Yeah, Frida is just…mm…if anyone deserves “Evil” in their nickname, it’s her
✨ who the Son sets free is free indeed ✨
April 23, 2024 at 1:06 pm #179045Ok, but if Hans, the Hemlock/Rampart equivalent of your story universe (I’m pretty sure you don’t remember them, but suffice it to say, they’re my villains, and they’re horrible), hates Frida, then she must be really evil.
Like really evil.
She’d probably take a fairly high spot on my “Most Hated Characters Because They’re Just The Worst” list.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
April 23, 2024 at 1:14 pm #179047Hans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, just you mentioned his name…Idk why I’m even reacting like this at just his name…I concur. She’s pretty awful.
And what really gets me is remarrying so soon. My Grandfather remarried slower than that and it still was like “Woah!” Just the shock of going from no grandmother to meeting this new person who within six months becomes technically our step-grandmother. It was not…fun. So I really feel for the Bois rn.
Anyways…
I’m glad you were able to figure Felix out! But now he’s gonna go on my list of charries to cry for every night…
"You need French Toast."
April 23, 2024 at 2:46 pm #179058I’m still plotting out, but I think most of the first half will be Kat discovering Chase is the Black Wolf and thenthe second half, her helping him discover what lives in this region of the forest.
Would you want to read this (especially not knowing who Chase is?)
Ooh, interesting… I probably wouldn’t buy the book based the premise, but that’s just my personal preference in genre. I guess my liking of the story would greatly depend on Kat and Chase, and how fun their point of views are.
Is this supposed to be a later book in a series about Chase? I was under the impression his story would be in the midst of him learning about his powers, but here you’ve described him as an already established forest ranger. Would Chase have already gone through the adoption drama (I was under the impression this also would be a main conflict)?
“Everything is a mountain”
April 23, 2024 at 3:46 pm #179065Is this supposed to be a later book in a series about Chase? I was under the impression his story would be in the midst of him learning about his powers, but here you’ve described him as an already established forest ranger. Would Chase have already gone through the adoption drama (I was under the impression this also would be a main conflict)?
So, Chase has two book ideas rolling around. The first one covers his teens, the adoption and discovering his powers. I will call it The Shyiad in this post. This new one (Black Wolf as I will call it for now) comes timeline wise around a decade after the beginning of The Shyiad. I understand your confusion, but if I follow through with this book idea, I would have to publish Black Wolf before the other one, because otherwise readers would already know Chase has powers and therefore destroy the plot of the first half of the book. Then that would make The Shyiad kinda like an origin story, explaining the second.
I probably wouldn’t buy the book based the premise, but that’s just my personal preference in genre.
Yeah, don’t blaim you. The Shyiad is kinda just a coming of age fantasy while the Black Wolf is kinda cryptid genre. And I personally find cryptid stories often go too far.
But now that I say that, it almost sounds wrong. Same MC, different setting, different characters, different genre maybe even. Also, when I was plotting, the story got dark really fast. Like within minutes of brainstorming. Maybe its cuz I’ve been looking into cryptids a little and that stuff gets dark pretty quickly. Idk, one minute I think this is a great idea, the next I don’t know. I’ve halted writing and went back to Guardian Angels for the time being until my brain is clear from recent cryptid stuff.
But, yeah. No matter what, Chase will be a forest ranger, and he will protect children from harm with everything he’s got. And the animals will forever be his friends.
"You need French Toast."
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