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AH YAY YOU’RE BACK *hug*
And AH Riker😭😭😭😭
1. Yes, I think it’s pretty realistic, you did a great job writing it. I’ve had small panic attacks before and they’re definitely not fun heh. I’m sure when someone’s cornered like that they’re not going to be thinking straight or exactly rational so his desperateness made sense. I do agree with Loopy tho, it seems like he’d probably be in either flight or freeze mode.
2. Well, I definitely thought of them as villains (I mean they tried to kill Riker😭😭) but I also have sympathy for them. Near the end of the scene they reminded me of Leon before he forgave Riker. They are blinded by the anger and hatred that is masking the deep hurt and grief of losing a loved one, and that is understandable, although it’s not right. But yeah, I still see them villains, or at least antagonists.
3. I think it definitely fits! And yes, if he didn’t have PTSD then I’d be shocked.
4. Yes and yes.
5. I’m with Esther! I was hoping he wouldn’t fight but it made sense that he did, especially with all the hurt and trauma that he’s obviously still holding in.
6. Well I was definitely sad. But I like that he did show emotion afterwards, although it did feel a bit quick. Like maybe instead of collapsing against the wall and sobbing right there in the bar, he stumbles out into the street and then he breaks down? That’s just a suggestion of course, whatever you decide will be perfect :)))
Anyway, aside from the feedback, I absolutely loved these scenes and I can’t wait to read more!!! Also I desperately need to hug Riker and Leon, the poor babies need some love </3
#HugRikerSquad
@keilah-h @grcr @lightoverdarkness6
Thanks!! Scenes like these are what get me excited about this story. I love these charries
tooso much. 🥰Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@esther-c I love charries too much also lol
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Okay, I’m back to finish going through your scene.
What are your thoughts on Aaron/Joash? Do you feel bad for them at all, or do they just seem like villains?
I understand them and what they are doing. While they don’t seem like total villains to me (I see them in both a realistic and historical context), I hate what they are doing to Riker and themselves.
Side notes: Your frequent use of the term “sadistic” is weakening the world’s impact. Also, you have used a lot of of biblical names for your Jewish characters, which I understand, but you may want to use some more non biblical ones as well, or Yiddish forms.
3. Is Leon’s sudden flashback a little jarring? Or does it fit? What are your thoughts on Leon possibly having some PTSD?
It wasn’t really jarring, just a little bit confusing as first. I actually liked that though, as it felt more as if I was in Leon’s head.
Leon would have Post Traumatic Stress with all he’s been through. It would make sense if that has become Disorder. I do like how you have mentioned/included possible symptoms but not said what they are or explicitly described them.
4. Is it obvious that the two fighting men are drunk? And is their hatred also obvious?
It is quite obvious that something is isn’t right in their upper stories, and we understand they have been drinking. Their hatred is pretty blatant. I was half expecting them to attack Leon.
5. What are your opinions on Leon’s hesitancy to fight? And what did you think when you read how he fell into a fit of rage?
I think it makes sense. He doesn’t want to be hurt, and he just needed to get the situation calmed down. His anger is understandable, and he is obviously not an emotionally steady character right now.
6. What do you think/feel about Leon’s final reaction to what he did/almost did? (i.e. when he fell against the wall and sobbed)
The fact that he just nearly killed a man would be quite a shock. Seeing that much blood and pain is not going to be kind to his mental state, especially considering his past. A pretty common reaction to sudden shock is tears, plus as already stated he isn’t very emotionally steady inside, so it makes perfect sense to me.
I just hope he isn’t going to get fired.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkLol I love that scene! Those interactions sound so realistic!
Also may or may not have just almost tagged you as easter-c XD.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
How’s it going? How’s life?
I just feel like its been awhile lol
Also it totally feels like spring over here rn, like the birds are chirping outside and everything 😁
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Oh my goodness hi Min!! <3 It has been awhile, I’m sorry I haven’t been very active lately 🙁 I was actually just thinking about getting on and chatting with you ❤🥰
Life is going good!! I’ve been like really happy lately and it’s great :)) Yesterday was such a great day, Easter is always so good. And I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with my family so I’m doing well <33
Oh my goodness yes same here!! I’ve got my window open rn and the cool air is coming in and I can hear the birds chirping and it’s so nice😍
How are you doing girl? <3
Also what do you want to do about our group in the Character Castle with Tauren and Les and Matthew?
#HugRikerSquad
@lightoverdarkness6 @koshka @esther-c @whalekeeper @rae @loopylin @anyone-I’m-forgetting
Thank y’all for all of your thoughts! <3 They were very kind and helpful and it means a lot that y’all took some time to respond💕
and don’t worry, Riker/Leon will both be fine!!
Eventually
😏
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
@freed_and_redeemed they better be fine!
They’ve gone through a lot already!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
oh, kinda random, but do any other Minecraft players here log on April 1st and check out the April Fools’ Snapshot?
This year has a ton of potato jokes. Last year’s allowed you vote on random silly features. The year before that removed the inventory and forced you to only be able to carry one block at a time (along with a brilliant joke involving a barrel). 2021 there was nothing interesting, but 2020 had Infinite Dimensions, which was really cool.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Oh my goodness hi Min!! <3 It has been awhile, I’m sorry I haven’t been very active lately 🙁 I was actually just thinking about getting on and chatting with you ❤🥰
Don’t apologize! There’s nothing wrong with not being active at all. I haven’t been active much either, school and drawing are just a little more important lol. But I do like to come on and chat sometimes XD
Life is going good!! I’ve been like really happy lately and it’s great :)) Yesterday was such a great day, Easter is always so good. And I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with my family so I’m doing well <33
That’s so awesome! I’m so happy for you girl! : )
Oh my goodness yes same here!! I’ve got my window open rn and the cool air is coming in and I can hear the birds chirping and it’s so nice😍
Isn’t it so nice!?
How are you doing girl? <3
Thanks for asking! <3
I’m really up and down lol, life’s a roller coaster. I guess I need prayer for learning to trust God more, my whole life kinda tests that bc my mom is the only really trustworthy person living with me.
We’re in the middle of a move to the neighboring state it’s pretty close, but we finally have a house! And… I’m older and won’t really be living there lol…
I always wanted us to live in a house and it happened just as I’m aging out of it lol 😅
Sooo I’ll be staying at our current place while I finish highschool.
On a happier note, I’m drawing a lot and trying to figure out where I want to take it…. it’s a little overwhelming. I think I’m going to work on comic short stories so I can build up my skills before I tackle Tauren and Lesli’s books 😁 I’m working on a 4 page short rn, idk what I’ll do with it once it’s done.
Also what do you want to do about our group in the Character Castle with Tauren and Les and Matthew?
Oh man idk, school is starting again today and I won’t have a lot of time, but it is a smaller group now so I might be able to do it. If I remeber correctly, I was the last one to rp, so if you do another rp and get the plot moving (Seriously do whatever you want, I don’t care if a monster comes in or a fluffy giant cat) I’ll probably have time to do another one! You can tag godlyfantasy to if you want, her Luna is with them.
Have you been writing at all?
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@loopylin @koshka @whalekeeper @rae @lightoverdarkness6 @keilah-h @esther-c @anyone-else-lol
Sooooooo, knowing how sad that chapter was…I give to y’all the following chapter!!!
The first half is kinda bittersweet (ok, ok, it’s still kinda sad…I’M SORRY, OK???😭💖) but the second half of the chapter…..eeeeeee, I love it sm and it is soooo cute and just 😍😍
anywhooooo, here it is <3
His world faded in and out of delirium; memories, dreams, and nightmares shared time within relentless sleep. Some offered joy, others sorrow, and others utter terror.
Riker shifted; he moaned, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. Bright sunlight poured into his eyes; he groaned and covered his face with his hands.
“You’re awake? Oh, thank you, Adonai.”
He uncovered his face even though the sun burned his eyes; he felt unfamiliar sheets and blankets beneath him. Riker blinked several times. “I-Isaiah?”
Isaiah pulled the curtains taut, smiled, and settled on the edge of the bed Riker laid on. He nodded. “It’s me…you’re in my home, where I live with my family. You hit your head against one of the brick buildings; you haven’t woken in almost two days. We’re lucky there wasn’t more damage.”
How was it any good there wasn’t more damage? How was it any good that Riker once again didn’t get what he deserved? If only he realized what was going on before it was too late—if only he hadn’t been so naïve. If only he’d been brave enough to stand; if only he’d helped Leon and Aadelheide when he had the chance.
Isaiah gently brushed hair off of Riker’s forehead. “Your head wound is wrapped and still needs time to heal. Are you hungry? My wife—”
The door opened and a smiling woman with graying brown hair, a woman he knew to be Isaiah’s wife, stepped into the room. “Isaiah, Isaiah—oh, Adonai, thank you. Thank you, Yeshua! Oh dear, I’m so happy to see you finally awake.”
Riker offered Miriam a smile he didn’t feel. “Thank you for your concern, both of you, but—”
Miriam stepped further into the room; Isaiah rose to stand beside her, planting a kiss to his wife’s temple. Miriam clasped her hands together. “Oh, how we have prayed that you would awake soon. Oh, you must be starving! Let me go get something ready for you.”
“You-you don’t have to.”
Miriam chuckled and shook her head. “Nonsense,” she placed a kiss on Isaiah’s lips and turned on her heel, “I will be back soon with something for you to eat, Riker.”
She hurried away; Isaiah chuckled and settled back on the bed after closing the door behind his wife. He glanced around the room and smiled faintly. “We’re some of the lucky ones…we escaped with no loss other than Judah.”
Riker’s gaze shot up. His throat threatened to clam up. “J-Judah? Who’s…who is Judah?”
“He was our middle child and our oldest son; he died in the camp over a year before you and Leon both arrived,” Isaiah gave Riker a look, “so Riker, don’t start blaming yourself for his death as well. You didn’t know, and you didn’t kill him…it was simply his time to return to Jehovah, and God has brought good out of that pain…so much good.”
Riker’s gaze cut away. He bit down on his bottom lip; tears burned behind his eyes, but he didn’t allow them to fall. So many people…so many lives…so many innocent men, women, children, and even babies…dead by his hands. His dirty, blood-stained, murderous hands.
Everything he was—everything he’d been…all of it was too much. Too much for Riker to forget; too much for God to forgive.
The blood on his hands would never be washed away. The innocent lives he’d stolen away would never be replaced.
Riker forced himself to sit up. His fingers clenched into fists; he rasped his temples, attempting to knock out the memories…the thoughts…the feelings he was cursed to forever bear. He moaned.
He needed to feel the pain. He needed to get what he deserved. He needed…he needed—Isaiah’s gentle fingers pulled his fists away from his head; he gripped Riker’s jaw and forced their eyes to meet. “Riker, you’ve punished yourself enough…no more of this.”
Riker pulled away from Isaiah’s grip. He shook his head several times, feeling all the more like the child his own father seemed to think he was. Isaiah was wrong to care for him. Isaiah was wrong to think Riker could be forgiven. Isaiah was wrong to think that Riker could be anything more than the mistake he was destined to be.
“I deserve to die, Isaiah! I should be dead. God should kill me already!”
“We all deserve death, Riker—”
“I killed hundreds…thousands…even millions of innocent people. Aadelheide was only one of the ones I killed, and I-I…there’s no hope for me now.”
Isaiah’s gentle hand rested on Riker’s shoulder. “Riker, that isn’t true. There is always hope. Unless you are already dead, there is always hope for salvation. No one is too far gone. No one has committed so much sin that they can’t be forgiven by God.”
It was already too late—it was.
There was no hope…no forgiveness available to a man like him. There couldn’t be. God was holy…God was…God was perfect. Riker knew that much.
Everything he’d done…he would never forget it. He’d never release the guilt, the shame, he would forever bear. At night, he saw faces float before him. He saw all those he killed…all those he’d seen that were murdered, undoubtedly with help from his own hands.
He saw death in every dream. Witnessed death in every thought. Some days he feared what eternity held. Other days, he wished death upon himself just so he’d finally receive what he deserved.
Riker moaned. “The pain isn’t enough, Isaiah. The guilt…the shame…my father’s rage…none if it is enough. I deserve Hell, Isaiah! Nothing less…nothing less than Hell.”
He stumbled to his feet, his fists once again pounding his head, punishing his mind for the thoughts it held inside, punishing himself for all of the wrongs he’d done.
Isaiah’s firm yet soft hands pulled Riker’s fists away, a father’s love that Riker had never felt in his eyes. “Enough.”
Whatever walls he’d built to contain what he didn’t want to release crumbled in a flood of tears. He tried to hold back each drop, each sound. One sob escaped; others followed just behind. Riker’s legs buckled beneath him; he collapsed onto the floor.
Isaiah crouched in front of him. He gently led Riker’s head to his shoulder; his arms wrapped around Riker’s torso and held him close. Slowly, gently, he rocked Riker’s upper body back and forth.
Riker buried his face in Isaiah’s shoulder and cried in someone’s arms for the first time in so long.
~*~
The cloth moped his neck, wiping away the sweat and grime of a long night’s worth of work. Leon brushed back his curls and did his best to trim his short but full beard.
It was still odd to see himself in the mirror—he’d grown, more than he realized, and in some odd way…there was something new…different. But he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
Leon pulled a fresh undershirt over his head, fighting back a wince that wished to surface. Almost two days, and Leon still couldn’t get the image out of his mind—couldn’t forget that he had almost killed a man. Just something else he wanted—needed—to forget.
He didn’t remember much else from that night. He knew he’d returned home, although he didn’t know how, and was vaguely aware that Louisa had been waiting up for him. He knew they’d exchanged heated words—but for the life of him, Leon couldn’t remember anything else from that night.
Leon quickly buttoned his shirt, doing his best to ignore the bruises that covered his torso from the fight—doing his best to ignore the numbers forever tattooed on his left forearm. He stepped out of the bathroom and into his small bedroom.
Leon turned off the lamp on his bedside table; a small envelope fluttered onto the floor. He glanced at the paper, took in a deep breath, and set it back on the bedside table.
He knew Louisa had given him the letter months ago, but he still lacked the strength, the willpower, to read it. How could he bear to read the last letter his wife had written—the last letter his wife would ever write?
Leon sighed and strode into the kitchen, closing his bedroom door behind him.
“Leon, can you open that cabinet and get a cup for me?”
Leon nodded and complied; he reached into a cabinet and handed a ceramic cup to Louisa. “Here’s one.”
Louisa nodded. “Thank you, dear.”
Leon leaned back against the counter; he crossed his arms across his chest and ran his tongue over his lips. “Louisa—”
“Leon, dear, if this is about what happened the other night—”
“I’m sorry, Louisa. I-I don’t remember what I said, but I know it wasn’t kind. You didn’t deserve that, and whatever I said…I shouldn’t have said it. So, I’m sorry…I’m very sorry.”
Louisa’s frown softened into a smile. She laid her gentle, chilled hands over top of Leon’s shoulders and glanced up at him. “Thank you for apologizing. I understand how much you’re hurting—”
Leon shook his head firmly. “There’s no excuse for how I treated you the other night…no excuse. I was drunk and I was wrong. I’m sorry,” Leon pulled her hands away from his shoulders; he clasped his mother-in-law’s hands in his own, “and I hope you can forgive me.”
“Oh, dear,” Louisa’s blue eyes brightened with stray tears, “of course I forgive you. Now why don’t I finish breakfast and you go wake up all of your little angels? I am going to treat all of us to a good breakfast this morning.”
Leon smiled from ear to ear and quietly stepped away. He snuck into Isabel’s room; Isabel slept soundly in bed. He gently pulled a bit of the blanket away from Isabel’s chin.
He laid a kiss on his daughter’s cheek and whispered, “Wake up, cupcake. Oma is making breakfast…”
Isabel’s bright eyes slowly fluttered open. She glanced up; a bright smile lit up her chubby face. “Daddy!”
Leon tickled her stomach. “That’s me. Come on, I need to get your brothers up.”
Isabel giggled, and Leon helped her clamber onto his back. He carried her into Albert’s small room where Isabel gently tickled her brother to get him to awake. Once awake, Albert laughed and held up his arms to Leon. “Up, up!”
Leon carried both into his own room where he gently woke Elias, setting his first two down to change Elias’ diaper.
He crouched down to allow Isabel to hop onto his back again, hoisted Albert into his left arm, and lifted Elias into his right.
Leon laughed and stumbled out of his bedroom. He ran into the living room as fast as he could without running into anything. Isabel giggled, Albert screeched, and Elias crowed.
“Oh no…crash landing!” Leon gently shook Isabel off his back and dropped both of his boys onto the small couch. He staggered backward and collapsed onto the floor.
“Dada!” Elias cried; he jumped off the couch and onto Leon’s stomach. Leon gasped; Albert and Isabel both followed. His breath stolen for a moment, Leon took several breaths to help himself breath.
He tilted his head back, laughed, and pulled all three of his kids close, tickling their stomachs, showering them with kisses. Though she was upside down from his position on the floor, Leon saw Louisa standing, watching, tears coursing down her cheeks and a smile crossing her tired face. Leon smiled, gathered all three of his gifts into his arms, and stood, laughing still.
And for the first time in months, joy filled Leon’s life.
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
Hehehe… 😂
Thanks so much!! That’s what I was going for! 😊
Also may or may not have just almost tagged you as easter-c XD.
🤣
I had Sunday school teachers when I was young that would spell my name that way. I was so confused how anyone could get my name wrong!! XD And now sometimes my friends or siblings call me Easter just to bug me 😂 (My friend purposely texted me Happy Esther yesterday… 😑😂)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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