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  • #172751
    MineralizedWritings
    @mineralizedwritings
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 3027

      @acancello

      Thank you! 🙂

      "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

      #172774
      RAE
      @rae
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3889

        @freedomwriter76

        Actually, we apparently used to have a similar idea of paragraphing…

        Idk…I can capture Vision in my head. Tony so and so. Bucky and Steve…I think so. Nat, no. Clint, Falcon, and Scott…idk. Wanda? Maybe. Pietro, no. Peter, I’d probably mess up. Thor, Loki, Nick (Fury drives me INSANE and not in a good way!) Would not go well. Taking all that into account, and the fact that I have a weird style that is not pleasant to read, and it’s a catastrophe waiting to happen. So…I think I’m gonna save myself some stress and never write a fanfic.

         

         

        Oh, I was just randomly thinking about this, but do you think Captain Marvel is prideful? I haven’t wat,he’d her movie yet, but from what I’ve seen in Endgame, especially the line “You didn’t have me then” Makes me kinda despise her. Granted, she is more powerful, and therefore has some right to say things like that, but the tone lacked humbleness. Is this just me?

        "You need French Toast."
        #AnduthForever (hopefully 💕)

        #172777
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 8156

          @rae @savannah_grace2009 @grcr @trailblazer @lightoverdarkness6 @mineralizedwritings @smiley @euodia-vision @whalekeeper @hybridlore @kyronthearcanin @thearcaneaxiom @princesachronicle22 @acancello @loopylin

          Y’all wanna see how much writing can approve in only 2 1/2 years?

          Y’all, your writing, which is already amazing, will continue to improve as you write more and more <3 Just some encouragement for everyone before y’all read this disaster😂 lol, jkjk. The old writing was good when I wrote it, just doesn’t compare to what I write now, that’s all…and we can all say that about all of our writingsđŸ©·

          Keep writing, y’all ✹✹

           

          Here’s the unedited 1st chapter from my first draft (unfinished) of Freedom’s Fire (2021) vs the edited 1st chapter of my final draft (2023)

           

          2021 Draft:

          Chapter 1

          April 1944

          “You’ve heard the rumors, yes?” A clang sounded, as was per usual. No one paid any mind. “You know that speaking about the rumors is forbidden.” Leon hissed at his cousin. Gunter shrugged, just as Leon picked up the shovel he dropped. “You should remember that; this is life-or-death G.” “Maybe. Maybe not. Besides, it’s not as if I have a family left anymore anyways.” Leon opened his mouth, then quickly shut it. He wasn’t wrong. Leon knew both his mother and father had died about four years ago, only days before Gunter’s eighteenth birthday. “You know I’d protect you.” Gunter smiled. “Yeah, I know Leon. But your wife and kids should be your priority. I’ll be fine. The Nazi’s would be fools to mess with Gunter Wagner.” “I think they’re just about that foolish.” Leon muttered quietly. Gunter almost responded, just as a Guard marched past. Something blazed in his bright brown eyes. “Gunter?” He shook his head, glanced back at Leon, before reaching for another shovel. “Let’s get this stupid work over with.” Leon nodded. Watched his cousin with a wary eye. Something was turning in that mind of his.

           

          “You’re home!” Leon nodded, putting his coat on the coat hanger by the door, along with the gold star, just as Aadelheide rushed at him. Gave him a brief kiss. Leon followed her into the kitchen, before cleaning off his hands. Road work was mucky. “Daddy! Look what I drew!” Isabel cried, rushing into the kitchen, a piece of paper in her hands, just as Leon sat down. She practically shoved it into his eyeballs. “It’s beautiful.” He murmured. “It’s you!” “I look like this?” Leon asked, showing her the drawing. Isabel nodded eagerly. Leon laughed. He hugged her. “I love it.” She smiled brightly, and, just as fast as she had come, she was gone. Aadelheide’s hands fell on his shoulders. “Just like a five-year-old should be doing
” “Aadelheide, it’s going to be okay.” “I pray so.” Aadelheide replied, sitting in the chair beside him, groaning as she set herself down in it. Leon reached for her hand. Squeezed it. “You
okay?” “I think so. I just think the baby’s almost ready.” She replied, yawning. “You’re not pushing yourself too hard?” She looked at him. Smiled. “Nope.” Leon smiled. Stood up. Went over to her. Kissed her forehead. “I’ll make something. You rest.” “I’m fine Leon, really. You’ve been- ““No. Sit. I’ve got this.” “That’s what you said the first time.” “Hah ha. Well, this time will be different.” “I’ll be praying.” Leon laughed. “You do that.” Aadelheide smiled. “Well then, how was your day?” Leon hesitated. Reached for a pot. “
Leon?” “It was
fine. Normal.” He’d shy away from the facts. She didn’t need to know everything. He shook the images away from his mind. Plastered a fake smile on his face before turning to his wife. “What would you like for dinner?” “Leon
don’t change the subject.” He sighed. Got down on one of his knees. Clutched both of her hands. “Aadelheide, I was fine. It’s just
some of the men were being kicked or punched for not working fast enough.” “You didn’t have to hide that from me.” “I don’t want you to- ““I know what to do with my fears. You know that. Besides, we’re in this together, right?” He took in a deep breath. “Right.”

          ~

          “Please Riker, don’t be too hard on your father. He’s not the same man I married.” Jennie whispered, running her hand through her son’s dark brown locks. Riker shook his head, closed his eyes in pain. Emotional pain. “But he’s that way now. And I don’t really care what he was like before. Now he is like this, and I hate him.” “Riker don’t hate him. Please. He can change just like- ““But he doesn’t want to, Mother! Can’t you see that!? Someone can only change if they want to.” Riker replied, getting off the bed, as he suddenly heard his sister’s voice. “Mama, I’m scared. I heard a loud noise. It sounded like a bear.” “It was one.” “What!?” “Don’t listen to your brother dear. It was only Daddy.” The look of terror on Angelina’s face was replaced by one of anger. “Riker! Why did you say it was a BEARRR!?” She asked angrily, stomping her foot. “Because it was one.” “Nuh-uh. Mama said It was Daddy.” “And he is one Angelina. Brutish enough to be one. And Unloving enough to be one.” Riker replied bitterly. Wouldn’t look at his mother’s face, knowing that she was disappointed. “Daddy’s not a bear Riker
” Angelina replied with a wave of her hand, smiling. “Yes, he is one Angelina! And he doesn’t love any of us, don’t you get that yet!? He doesn’t care about us!” Riker cried in pain and anger. Angelina stepped back, scared. And tears filled her eyes. “W-what?” Riker stepped back. He had hurt her. Yes, it was true, but did a seven-year-old need to know that her own father would prefer to be away from her? “I’m sorry Angelina. P-pretend I didn’t say anything
”  Riker awoke with a start. Sat up. Groaned and massaged his temples. No matter how many times he always remembered it, that scene of his life always replayed in his mind. And, he realized with a start, he had fallen asleep with his uniform on. The only thing he had taken off were his boots. He pulled off the covers. Stretched and reached for his tall, black boots, and stopped. Seemed as if he forgot to shine his boots too. He sighed. Pulled the boots on. Laced them up and lifted to his feet. His eyes caught his reflection in the mirror, but he looked away. Didn’t want to look at the mistake that stared at him. Didn’t want to look at the many regrets that shone in his eyes. A quick rasp at the door sounded before the door creaked open. A man stepped in, quickly opened the curtains. Turned to Riker and clicked his tongue. “You could at least make yourself look presentable, couldn’t you?” “I could have Erich.” Riker retorted, looking down at his rumpled uniform. His fellow, same rank officer, Riker didn’t appreciate the fact that Erich was always trying to rise in rank by doing whatever it took. “Better make an attitude adjustment. Oh, and don’t forget to put that on.” Riker rolled his eyes but looked over at the desk that Erich motioned to. Walked over and picked up the armband sitting on it. Pulled it on over his long, black sleeve. “It’s the symbol of who we are. What we’re fighting for.” Riker nodded, inspected himself quickly in the mirror. Glanced at the armband. The Swastika. Put his gun in his belt and looked away. “You look in the mirror less than anyone I know.” “There’s not much to look at.” Erich chuckled, smiled, bright blue eyes glimmering in amusement. “I suppose that is true. I doubt that’s the only reason, but no matter. We have other, important things to do.” He doubted they were that important. Riker shook his head. Rain pummeled outside, symbolizing just how dark and dreary everything was becoming. Symbolizing how much darker and eviler the world was becoming. The war was raging fiercely. No one wanted to quit. “The war’s already been raging for five years Erich. Do you think it’ll ever end?” Riker asked, quiet and soft. Erich chuckled. “As soon as the Allies learn they are horrible at stopping us, the war will end. As soon as they realize they can’t defeat us, we will win.” “Who says we can’t lose?” Erich raised an eyebrow, stepped closer to Riker. “And who says we can? WE are superior Riker, to EVERYONE else. We cannot lose, trust me.” “Except for we’ve already lost some battles Erich. We’re not unstoppable.” Erich scoffed, rolled his eyes. “Great. Now you’re spouting nonsense. Listen, Riker, why don’t we get down to business instead? Why don’t we do our jobs and why don’t you SHUT UP!?” “Arguing and yelling is scarcely ever necessary.” Riker turned, horrified at the sound of such a voice. The door closed. “Oh, Fin sir, we were just about to- ““I see you were. Although, you two seemed extremely interested in your argument.” Fin replied with a smile and a bit of sarcasm. Riker returned it with a faint smile of his own. Fin wasn’t as intimidating and serious as many other commanding officers. He enjoyed company and didn’t seem to prefer yelling and screaming orders day in and day out like most other higher officers. “Just remember that you two don’t have to yell. And arguing rarely gets anywhere. Especially if neither of you can come to terms with each other. It would just be a waste of time.” Riker and Erich nodded; both spoke at once. “Yessir.”

           

          2023 Draft:

          Chapter 1

          April 1944

          Boots thudded against cobblestone; a fist connected with his head.

          Leon hit the brick wall of the flower shop. Hard. He groaned.

          The blonde-haired man looming over him smirked and rolled up his brown shirtsleeves, sneering. “Is that all you can take, Jew?”

          Leon leaned against the wall. He wouldn’t give up so easily. He leapt to his feet. “I’m never done.”

          The brownshirt’s fist knocked Leon’s head back into the brick wall.

          Aching pain travelled from Leon’s skull.

          His head throbbed and sticky, crimson blood trailed down the side of his face.

          Leon leaned against the wall, his scrapped palms stinging. He wasn’t a quitter.

          He never stayed where he fell. Not even once.

          “Give up already, Jew, you don’t belong here.”

          Leon’s fists clenched.

          “Silence, huh? What? Do you need me to dumb it down for you, pig?” The blonde taunted.

          He was disgusted all because Leon was a Jew.

          “I don’t need it dumbed down, and I’m not a coward, unlike you.” Leon muttered.

          The man’s upper lip curled, and a vein pulsed in his pale neck.

          The man’s fist connected once more with Leon’s face, throwing Leon to the hard concrete.

          Leon collapsed and moaned. His world faded to black.

          ~*~

          The pen tip scraped against paper. A scream sounded.

          The pen went completely still as a chill spread up Riker’s spine. Maybe he should have been used to screams by now. Everyone else seemed to be.

          Jackboots clicked against the shined floor. “Kurt does an excellent job with interrogations, doesn’t he, Schind?”

          “Yessir.” Riker replied, looking up at his commanding officer.

          Donned in the black and silver uniform of the Schutzstaffel, Hans Baumann carried himself with an air of superiority. His bony face turned towards Riker, a face where a smile was rare to occur.

          Hans rose an eyebrow. “Are you almost done with that paperwork?”

          “Yessir.” He began writing again.

          Hans bent over to look over the papers, the skull and crossbones on his uniform cap glistening in the sun that streamed through an open window. “Wonderful to know we have gathered useful information from our prisoners, Riker, isn’t it?”

          Riker slowly nodded. He hadn’t been asked to aid in the torture in months, thankfully.

          “Now if only we can get actual, useful information out of that blasted American pilot.”

          Another scream. Another chill. Kurt was working on that.

          “We’ll have information out of him soon enough.” Hans mused, pulling a cigarette from his pocket.

          Another pair of boots clicked against linoleum, and a blonde-haired officer stopped and saluted Hans with a ‘Heil Hitler!’.

          Hans returned the salute and lit his cigarette. “Erich, how are you?”

          “Very well, sir.”

          “And your wife?”

          “Well. Very tired, but healthy.” Erich replied with a smile; he turned to face Riker. “Will you be finished with those papers by tonight?”

          “I’m not sure. Why, Erich?”

          Erich laughed. “You already forgot? Hilda was right, you are scatterbrained. We are going out for food and drinks tonight.”

          “To celebrate the FĂŒhrer’s birthday, as you well know is today.” Hans added.

          Riker merely nodded. How could anyone forget when they were reminded every day of their life of the importance of their FĂŒhrer? “I’ll try to get it done by tonight.”

          “No, Riker,” Hans set his palms on the desk, “you will get those papers done by tonight.”

          Riker looked up.

          Hans’ hard coal-colored eyes made Riker’s heart skip a beat.

          Riker slowly nodded, his heart beating so hard he felt it in his head. “Yessir.”

          #172778
          Anonymous
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 8156

            It is considerably shorter, but 100% better LOL

            #172779
            Anonymous
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 8156

              @rae I’m sure I don’t get them perfect, LOL 😂

              srrsly, tho, if you don’t want to write a fanfic, there’s no pressure to. And if you did write one, there’s no pressure to share. There are fanfics I’ve kept to myself over the years👀

               

              and yes, she is prideful for SURE. Legit the main message of Captain Marvel (the movie) is her overpowering men and being better than men and just feminist stuff in general, like, seriously 🙄

              #172794
              Cloaked Mystery
              @jonas
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 2820

                @rae

                Oh, I was just randomly thinking about this, but do you think Captain Marvel is prideful? I haven’t wat,he’d her movie yet, but from what I’ve seen in Endgame, especially the line “You didn’t have me then” Makes me kinda despise her. Granted, she is more powerful, and therefore has some right to say things like that, but the tone lacked humbleness. Is this just me?

                Captain Marvel is a horrible character. The writers don’t understand that characters need to have flaws and weaknesses. She has neither, except for her pride, which I don’t think they see as a flaw. She is completely overpowered. The director of Endgame even said that he deliberately put her in as little of the movie as he could, because of that. Every time she appears it feels like a deus ex machina.

                I have not seem her movie, but my dad has and he says it is really bad. I’m inclined to trust his judgement, given what I’ve seen of her in Endgame. The fact that I didn’t watch it shows that you don’t need to to understand other movies, so I wouldn’t recommend watching it.

                🏰 Fantasy Writer
                ✹ Magic System Creator
                🎭 Character RPer
                📚 Appreciator of Books

                #172805
                Anonymous
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 8156

                  @rae @savannah_grace2009 @grcr @trailblazer @lightoverdarkness6 @mineralizedwritings @smiley @euodia-vision @whalekeeper @hybridlore @kyronthearcanin @thearcaneaxiom @princesachronicle22 @acancello @loopylin

                  I have a chapter from Leon/Riker’s 2nd novel to share with y’all!!!

                  And this one, y’allđŸ˜­đŸ©·đŸ˜­

                  June 1945

                   

                  “My Mutti used to say I looked as pretty as Katharine Hepburn,” the young blonde-haired girl’s bright eyes filled with tears, “but now I not.”

                  “Who says?”

                  With a scowl, the young girl, Lina, pulled on her threadbare dress. She leaned down a bit from where she sat and pointed at the metal and leather braces on her legs. “My Mutti don’t like these. My Mutti don’t like cripple. That why she die.”

                  “Lina, Lina, no,” sitting on the pristine white floor of the hospital, Riker gripped Lina’s small hands in his own, “your Mutti did not choose to go. If she could have, she would have stayed, Lina, she would have. She wouldn’t have cared that your legs aren’t working right now.”

                  “My legs never work again. I always a cripple.”

                  How could he help her see? How could he help a child that he’d only met within three weeks understand that her mother hadn’t abandoned her
that her mother loved her so, so much, even to her death?

                  “Lina, your mother loved you very much
she loved you so much that she tried to save you. She wouldn’t care that your legs aren’t working
she’d love you anyway.”

                  Lina’s eyebrows scrunched together. “But I cripple.”

                  “Lina, Lina, you are so much more than a cripple
your Mutti loved, and loves, you so much.”

                  “Even I mess up?”

                  Riker smiled. He tucked a strand of Lina’s loose blonde curls behind her ear. “Even when you mess up.”

                  Lina’s smile seemed to spread from one ear to another. She giggled and launched herself into Riker’s embrace.

                  A tight hug and a quick goodbye were shared as a nurse came in to care for Lina and thanked Riker for keeping the energetic child distracted for half an hour until she could be cared for.

                  Riker trudged out of the American Red Cross hospital. None of them knew who he was
what he’d done. If they did, he knew he would never be allowed to step inside again. Was it so wrong to not tell them so he could survive for his family? Was it so wrong to want to care for sweet, silly Lina? All of the other children he’d murdered
could he not help at least one?

                  Lina shouldn’t love him, that much was true, and he knew that, but Lina deserved love. Injured in one of the American bombings, both her mother and her father had perished during the war
her mother in the same bombing that left Lina’s legs paralyzed, her father on the eastern front.

                  Buildings were mere rubble
children were orphaned and maimed for life
a country was in shambles and a world was shaken and furious about the darkness that once rested just behind Germany’s gates. Did an innocent child in the midst of it all not deserve love?

                  “Even I mess up?”

                  “Even when you mess up.”

                  Riker shoved his hands into his slacks. Why would his words to Lina come back already? He could still remember what he said
he didn’t need to be reminded. Lina would’ve been and was loved by her mother even when she messed up.

                  But shouldn’t that apply to God too?

                  Riker sighed and kicked a loose pebble aside. It was different. Childhood mishaps versus murder? One was forgivable; the other was not. Besides, mothers were mothers. God was holy where humanity was not.

                  Riker knew at least that much.

                  No, forgiveness was too good for him. God wouldn’t forgive him for murdering innocent people. God wouldn’t-Riker stumbled backward, almost tumbling straightforward into a smaller figure.

                  The woman gasped and stumbled; her heels caught on the sidewalk. Riker caught her forearm to steady her. The woman released a deep sigh of relief; she brushed a loose strand of gray hair out of her slightly wrinkled face and looked up. “Thank you, child.”

                  “I-I’m sorry for running into you, ma’am-“

                  “Oh, forgive me dear, but you look familiar.”

                  Riker met vaguely familiar blue eyes. Gray hair, blue eyes, a smile that shone with kindness
she was familiar without a doubt, but how, why?

                  “Oh, I know. You are the officer that came to tell me of my daughter’s passing from this life to the next all those-all those months ago.”

                  “
Frau Schneider?”

                  The woman smiled gently, wiping tears from her eyes. “It’s Louisa, dear. You don’t have to be so fancy with me.”

                  Leon’s mother-in-law
Aadelheide’s mother, who he gave Aadelheide’s final letters to and revealed Aadelheide’s death to.

                  “I cannot remember your name, dear. Could you please tell me again?”

                  “R-R-Riker, ma’am. Riker Schind.”

                  “I have prayed that we might meet again. I’ve been meaning to thank you once more for telling me about Aadelheide’s passing, and thank you for the letters-“

                  Riker closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Ma’am, please, don’t.”

                  “Dear,” Louisa set a gentle hand on his shoulder, “what is wrong? Please don’t tell me that you blame yourself for my Aadelheide’s passing. Life is good
I have my Leon and my grandbabies.”

                  Riker tore his gaze away; his lower lip trembled. “I-I have to go. I’m sorry, ma’am.”

                  “Child, wait-!”

                  But he didn’t wait. He pushed his arms and pumped his legs. He wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. Leon had kids? Yes, Leon had mentioned them a few times in the camp and Aadelheide had mentioned them. Riker took more than just a daughter and a wife
he’d taken a mother. He’d left Leon’s kids motherless and Leon a widow. What kind of monster was he?

                  Riker stopped; he fumbled with the lock; he trudged into the house. He locked the door behind him and stumbled into the living room, past his father’s still, dead drunk frame on one of the couches, and fell against the hearth.

                  Riker groaned and rubbed the back of his head. His hands pulled away, wet with blood.

                  His fingers shook; his body trembled from head to toe, yet his own blood on his own hands was nothing compared to the innocent blood of thousands that would forever stain his fingers.

                  ~*~

                  Stars illuminated the dark night sky; short rays of light danced into the small bedroom.

                  Leon rocked Elias in his arms, struggling to get his youngest son to sleep. He loved Louisa, yet still seemed wary of Leon. He needed to get a job and somewhere for him and the kids to live. Soon.

                  He knew Louisa didn’t mind them living with her. She probably loved it, even, but if Elias couldn’t adjust
maybe Leon needed to have his kids somewhere else.

                  “Dear, is Elias still-? Well, it seems he is still fighting sleep.”

                  Leon huffed and glanced up at his mother-in-law. “I can put him to sleep. I’m not incapable.”

                  “I never said you were, Leon,” Louisa’s eyebrows furrowed together; she settled a sleeping Albert in his crib, “and there’s no need for such a clipped tone. Maybe he’s hungry. Would you like me to get a bottle and try to feed him?”

                  “I can-“

                  “Daddy, can you put me to bed?” Isabel asked, standing in the doorway; her loose curls bounced just above her shoulders, and she clutched her small handmade doll to her chest.

                  How could he resist those big, bright, pleading eyes? Leon smiled. “Of course, cupcake. Louisa.” He reluctantly handed his youngest to his mother-in-law, turning his attention to Isabel as soon as Louisa left the room.

                  “Come on, cupcake,” Leon hoisted Isabel onto his hip, “into your room for sleeping.”

                  Isabel’s arms wrapped around his neck; Leon gently stepped into Isabel’s small, yet cozy room. “You’re going down
” He tilted to one side and dropped Isabel on her bed.

                  Isabel giggled. “Daddy!”

                  Leon smiled and strode over to Isabel’s bookshelf. “Alright, what story do you want me to read today?”

                  “I want you to read
uhm
the story of Jesus when he heal all the sick people!”

                  Leon’s hand paused midair. Isabel wanted him to read a story about
what? “You want me to read that story? Are you sure?”

                  “Yes, Daddy! I love that story. Jesus heal all the sick people and they all got better.”

                  “You have plenty of other books. I don’t even know if you have a Bible in here-“

                  “But you have one, Daddy! You can read your Bible.”

                  “I don’t have a Bible, cupcake.”

                  Isabel’s eyebrows furrowed together; her blue eyes filled with confusion yet determination. “Everyone has a Bible, Daddy.”

                  “I don’t have one,” Leon settled on the edge of Isabel’s bed; he tickled his daughter’s stomach and made her giggle, “so how about we go with a different story tonight?”

                  Leon pulled one of Isabel’s favorite fairytales off the shelf. “Here, I can read this one.”

                  Isabel paused. She clutched her doll closer to her chest. “Daddy, why did Mama go to heaven?”

                  The questions he’d avoided so long were questions Louisa had finally answered. Leon’s jaw clenched. It was his job to take care of his daughter, his job to protect his daughter. If that meant keeping her from knowledge a child shouldn’t have to bear, so be it.

                  “Oma said Mama is in heaven with Jesus and the angels, and she said Mama is happy with Jesus, but why did Mama have to go?”

                  “Mama is in heaven just like Oma said, Isabel-“

                  “But why, Daddy?” Isabel whined. “Mama said she’d be back
you and Mama promised.”

                  Leon’s breath chuffed out, almost in gasps. No, no, no! He couldn’t think about it
he wouldn’t.

                  “Leon, if I don’t make it out of this war alive
”

                  Leon’s fists clenched; he rose to his feet and pulled the blankets up to Isabel’s chin. The fairytale fell onto the floor. “I think you need to go to sleep.”

                  “But Daddy-“

                  “No, you need sleep. I-I can’t read a story tonight. I’m sorry. Sleep tight, cupcake, and sleep well-“

                  “But Daddy, what about the night prayers? Oma always helps me do my prayers
”

                  A burn spread through Leon’s chest; he shook his head, firm. “I’ll have Oma come and help you, but I can’t tonight.”

                  “Daddy
”

                  Leon leaned over; he kissed Isabel’s forehead. “Goodnight, cupcake.”

                  He trudged out of Isabel’s room, and he faced Louisa in the hallway. “Is Elias asleep?”

                  “Yes, he is finally asleep.”

                  “Good. Can you
can you help Isabel with her prayers?”

                  “I thought she would ask you-“

                  “She did,” Leon muttered; his fists clenched at his sides, “but could you help her with them?”

                  Louisa’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “
Alright. I will.”

                  Leon stepped around his mother-in-law. He marched into the kitchen and slammed a cabinet open and closed. He popped the top off a bottle and rose the glass to his lips, swallowing a long gulp.

                  A fleeting drink one day became a crave inside him for something that could drown his pain, his memories, his sorrow, his grief.

                  A small part of him wished he could be like Isabel, believing so easily and so willing to pray.

                  Leon’s knuckles turned white around the glass.

                  Maybe he could pray. Maybe he could still find a way to lift his needs to God. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He refused.

                  #172807
                  Smiley
                  @smiley
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 2210

                    @freedomwriter76

                    I love it!!!!!!

                    but the poor poor poor Leon and Riker, why must you do this to them??? why?!

                    I mean I know why but still…

                     

                    also, I can see clearly where you’ve improved (this does make me want to go and find some of my old works, but I’m scared lol)


                    @rae

                    I’m going, to be honest… me and my brother always enjoyed Captain Marvel, and we especially loved Goose!! (it’s a cat in the movie who’s named after Goose from Top Gun)

                    that being said it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, so I never looked that deep into it, although it does introduce Monica who plays an important role in WandaVision

                     

                    as for fanfics… if you want to write them then do if not then don’t, but don’t be afraid of them not being liked cause as me and Freedom have been discussing, we’ve written some cringy stuff XD

                    also if it has a Marvel character in it then I’m probably going to like it lol

                    Do me a favor
. Tell Cress I meant it
                    -Thorne

                    #172808
                    -GRCR-
                    @grcr
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1290

                      @freedomwriter76

                      *exhales* Yes, your writing has improved a bunch. Undoubtedly. 😅

                       

                      Oh, and the chapter from the second book… ugh, I love it. It’s sad, but I really like it… 💛💛

                      INTP.

                      #172810
                      MineralizedWritings
                      @mineralizedwritings
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3027

                        @devastate-lasting

                        I think we’ve met lol?

                        Anyways, I saw over on instagram that your short story was excepted into sky’s the limit press’s anthology, congrats! 🙂

                        I was like… wait that persons name looks super familiar 😂

                        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                        #172811
                        Linyang Zhang
                        @devastate-lasting
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1700

                          @mineralizedwritings Aw thanks haha! Are you planning on reading it?

                          Lately, it's been on my brain
                          Would you mind letting me know
                          If hours don't turn into days

                          #172812
                          MineralizedWritings
                          @mineralizedwritings
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3027

                            @devastate-lasting

                            Yw! Well I don’t really spend money on books lol. It looks super cool though. My sisters friend (rose) also has a story in it, and the overall vibe seems awesome… If I got a chance to read it I’m sure I’d enjoy it lol

                            "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                            #172815
                            Keilah H.
                            @keilah-h
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 5147

                              @freedomwriter76 @rae yeahhh personally I thought Captain Marvel was overpowered when I saw her. I didn’t see the prideful bit, but I was kinda like “Wow, is this an overpowered character or what?” when I saw her fighting in Endgame. @smiley hey, Goose is cool. An alien cat who can swallow the Tesseract and not die is good enough for me.

                               


                              @rae
                              Fanfic is all I write at this point lol (mostly Star Wars, but a bit of Marvel every so often, and a few other things). But hey, if you don’t want to do it, don’t. If it’s about any other reason, it’s fine, but if you’re afraid of writing a character wrong….that just happens when you’re writing your first fanfiction, trust me. It gets better as you write more.

                               

                               

                              You all don’t want to know about this one Star Wars fanfic I wrote when I was ten or eleven. It was so cringey.

                              "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                              #172816
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 8156

                                @grcr Yeah. Everyone’s writing gets better with practice 😁

                                Also, tysm!!! Yess, I knowwwww, the poor bois đŸ˜­đŸ©·đŸ˜­

                                 


                                @smiley
                                I know, I know, I know😭😭

                                also, tysm!!! I was pretty proud of that chapter, haha ✹ and she’s such a minor character, but I love Lina, lolđŸ©·đŸ©·

                                 

                                Ngl, I’d love to read some of your old writing đŸ˜œđŸ©·âœš

                                #172821
                                Smiley
                                @smiley
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 2210

                                  @freedomwriter76

                                  Here’s the thing, I kind of lost all of my old writing due to switching devises and writing apps, so I’m going to need to go on the hunt to find my old works lol

                                  but we’ll see

                                   

                                  also, tysm!!! I was pretty proud of that chapter, haha ✹ and she’s such a minor character, but I love Lina, lolđŸ©·đŸ©·

                                  First rule of the entertainment business is when things are getting dull throw in a little girl

                                  and don’t pretend it’s not true XD

                                   

                                  Do me a favor
. Tell Cress I meant it
                                  -Thorne

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