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@freedomwriter76
Hey, I really liked that scene! Makes me want to read more about both Fin and Erich. <3
There is a difference between a cigar and a cigarette, though. Cigarettes are the little paper rolls that come in packets. Cigars are much bigger, more expensive, and take much longer to smoke.
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
@smiley there are two? Wow, I thought the two Ross dudes were the same person. I was wondering what caused the attitude change….
@freedomwriter76 somehow I was unaware that Everett Ross was universally liked by the Marvel community. I mean, he does have a lot going for him in terms of defending a country he’s not even from.
and awwww! Erich’s story is so sad!!! Especially since he was thrown from somewhat-Christianity to full-on Judaism to some kind of atheism…..
@loopylin I’m pretty sure she knows that…..?my question is how do you know that???? I hope by research lol.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Family dynamics are crazy….
Ikr. I have some cousins who are technically my mom’s cousins, but they are younger than me because they were adopted, despite being a generation above me.
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
@loopylin I know!! so weird!
I have another cousin who just got married, so….more strange family dynamics.
But hey, at least it’s not like the family tree I created for my warrior cats OC’s…that one was top notch crazy.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Lol, I don’t smoke. XD But I didn’t research it either. I just kinda know? From like observation and watching movies probably
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
@loopylin lol yep that makes sense
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
But hey, at least it’s not like the family tree I created for my warrior cats OC’s…that one was top notch crazy.
XD oh my gosh warrior cats… those books traumatized me
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
@loopylin lol!!
yeah they’re pretty violent at times. I like most of them, but a few are a little dark. Mostly I jut write fanfic based off it.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Oh thank you soooo much 😭😭 I’m so glad it’s not the ross I like
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@freedomwriter76
I’ll show you if I ever finish it lol!
Wow, 35 pages? You go girl!!
Also, love the scene. Erich is really interesting…
Btw I’m not getting notifs for anything you tag me in 🙄 if there’s something you want me to see and you think I missed it feel free to let me know in a update!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@freedomwriter76 @smiley @hybridlore @loopylin @whalekeeper
Ok this is kinda long, if it looks familiar it’s a complete redo of a scene I posted awhile ago 🙂
I’m at exactly 24k now… progress is slow but going alright.
For those of you who don’t know, Aleshia is Lesli’s new boss but also the mother of her best friend, Tauren, so she grew up around her a lot.
“Tris, Pam, Madison, and Meg!” Aleshia points down the line of girls, who briefly look up from their huddled conversation.
“Meet Lesli, our newbie.” She smiles. Lesli shirks inside of herself, trying to force a smile to the group.
Yep. That’s me, the newbie.
“Hi.” One of the girls, with cropped black hair, looks up at Lesli. Lesli waves to the group nervously.
“Hi.”
“Tris, would you mind showing her around?”
“Sure!” Lesli looks over at a tall girl with long brown hair, tied in a bun.
“Ok then! I’ll be taking early lunch orders from the craftsman’s district, you guys know the drill.”
Lesli panics slightly, looking around at the unfamiliar faces. “Wait–”
“I’ll be back in roughly 2 hours. If you don’t know what to do Lesli, there’s always cleaning.”
Lesli nods, wringing her hands uncomfortably. “K.”
Aleshia speeds off with a notepad in hand, sending one last smile Lesli’s way.
“So, I suppose Aleshia already introduced us… “ Meg steps out from the back of the group. “What brings you here Lesli? Didn’t want to work in the nursery?”
“Oh.. yeah.” Lesli shifts her feet uncomfortably. “I’m not a kid person.”
“Same.” Meg laughs.
Lesli stands through an awkward silence, watching as Tris reaches for the recipe book. “How umm– how long have you guys been here for?”
The rest of the girls turn towards Lesli, distracted from their tasks.
“3-4 years for most of us, right out of 8th grade graduation.” Meg answers.
Tris hands Lesli the recipe book. “Everything you need is in that bottom cabinet or the fridge, you can start the bread.”
Lesli nods, reading through the recipe.
Wow, they move fast.
Digging through a bin of measuring cups for the right one, Lesli briefly looks up to see the other girls.
“Where were you working last?” Tris asks, scooping flours into a cup and leveling it with her hand.
“That’s just what I was wondering, I’ve like never seen her!” Meg adds with a laugh.
“I probably went to grade school with a few of you.” Lesli replies nervously, dumping flour into a mixing bowl.
“After that?” Meg licks a spoon before flipping it into the sink.
“I umm…” Lesli paused. “I worked in the mines for a bit.”
The clinking of dishes and utensils halts for a moment as the rest of the girls look up.
“Really? You worked with all the boys?”
“Yeah.” Lesli nods, a smile bursting through her subdued demeanor.
“Oh my goodness!”
“What?”
“She has all the tea on the boys!”
Lesli’s face sags as a collective gasp erupts from the rest of the kitchen.
***
“What about Jayden? What’s he really like?”
Lesli shrugs. “He’s a good worker, can be a jerk when he feels it necessary though.”
“Well that’s not bad. I mean anyone can be a jerk if provoked.”
“I mean unprovoked.”
“Oh.”
Lesli finishes pouring the batter into a cupcake pan, then slides it into the preheated oven.
That wasn’t too bad, was it Les?’
She wipes her hands on the front of her apron.
Lesli smiles in satisfaction, walking over to the sink to do some cleaning.
“Hey Meg, did you meet Kiera’s new boyfriend?”
“Dexter?”
“No, the one after him.”
How many do you need??
“Oh Gabriel?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s cute.”
“You think?” Meg laughs. “She’s absolutely delighted with him.”
“She’s gotta have bragging rights for at least a month now.”
“Just because she’s dating him?” Lesli asks.
“Yeah! Tris laughs. “Why not? He’s like the cutest guy our age, and somehow she got him. I kinda can’t believe it.”
“I know right? OUR Kierra?”
The two erupt into giggles. “Lesli, you have a boyfriend?”
“No…” Lesli laughs uncomfortably. “I think I’ll wait.”
“Wait? How old are you?”
“18.” She laughs nervously.
“But you don’t want a boyfriend?”
Lesli shrugs. “I dunno, I guess it could be fun… I’ve just… never really clicked with a guy in that way.”
“Well I mean it’s not a requirement, just for fun.”
Just for fun…
***
Lesli huffs, placing the last dish in the dish drainer.
“What’s that smell?”
“Hm?” Lesli looks up from the newly accumulated pile of dishes.
“It’s like…” Meg sniffs the air.
Lesli’s eyes shoot open wide as she runs towards the smoking oven. “No!”
“I-I forgot to set a timer!” Lesli reaches in with an oven mitt, pulling out the burnt bread and placing it on the stovetop. She turns off the oven, letting it stay open to vent.
“Ack.” Lesli exclaims under her breath, her cheeks burning red with embarrasement.
Lesli places the pan in the sink, flushing it with hot water. Steam rises onto her face as the pan sizzles under the water. She busies herself with scraping out the burnt remains, and attempting to rid the pan of the burnt outer crust of the bread. Lesli sighs, feeling a deep pit in her stomach.
Well isn’t this just lovely.
How embarrassing.
Lesli blinks, surprised at the instinctive desire to cry over something so small. She keeps her eyes open, letting the brief tears recede. Trying to clear her mind, Lesli reaches for baking mitts.
“Oops.” Lesli whispers quietly to herself, scrubbing burnt batter from the pan. She glances through her peripheral vision, trying to decipher the silence around her.
Oh come on, I can’t have been the first person to do something like this.
She gulps, swallowing the lump in her throat.
I wish Aleshia would come back.
Wait, she’s my boss here. I guess I’d rather her not know.
Lesli blinks back the next tear, taking in a deep breath. She scrubs at the rest of the muffin pan, removing black burnt batter.
“Hello, I’m back.” Aleshia sighs.
Lesli jerks, trying not to look over.
Yeah yeah, just keep washing dishes Les, you’ll be fine.
Aleshia frowns, opening the oven to smoke.
Looks like somebody had a little accident here.
I think they’ve got it under control though.
Aleshia pins the lunchtime orders onto a corkboard in the kitchen.
“Can I deliver to the blacksmith please?” Meg says, rushing up to Aleshia.
“Sure, you can get both the woodwork shops along the way too.” Aleshia smiles.
Meg beams with excitement, carefully reading over the order slip.
Lesli runs hot water over the newly accumulated pile of dishes. She scrubs gently, watching as water rises in the plugged sink, and suds drain off her hands. The other girls work like a well oiled machine in the background, frequently tossing silverware in the sink.
***
Lesli picks at her food, alone in the back of the bakery. Yellow incandescent lights line the ceiling, just like in the rest of the shopping district. One light in the corner flickers occasionally, leaving one half of the room darker.
“You’re back?”
Lesli perks at the sound of voices, but doesn’t turn to look.
“Yeah…!” Meg’s cheerful voice lilts. “They were super busy, so I just dropped it off and left.”
Lesli nibbles at her sandwich, listening to the voices in the back.
“Common you guys, we don’t have forever.” Tris says, entering the room. She glances briefly up at Lesli, who manages a small smile.
Meg digs through her cubby, pulling out a lunch bag. Lesli looks over at them expectantly.
“What’s taking you guys so long?” One of the girls yells from the front.
“Meg brought so much stuff that she couldn’t find her lunch!” Tris yells, rushing back out to the front with Meg in tow. The girls chatter slowly dies out as they run farther away, into the cluttered sounds of the shopping district.
Lesli feels a lump form in her stomach as she looks back at the door.
Ah, of course. They eat in the shopping district. Why would anyone eat back here anyways?
Lesli sighs, taking another bite of her sandwich.
Well, they didn’t want me to join them, otherwise they would have asked.
Who said you had to be friends with your co workers? It’s just a job afterall…
Lesli finishes her lunch in silence, besides the constant ticking of the simple wall clock. She gets up, causing the wooden bench to squeak. Taking a moment to neaten the table, she places the salt and pepper back in the center of the table and brushes a few crumbs away. The kitchen door slowly creaks open behind her, and Aleshia enters the room. She smiles, glancing around the room until her eyes land on Lesli.
“Lesli dear, what are you doing back here?” Aleshia asks.
“Oh just…” Lesli shrugs, looking at the concrete floor. “I dunno, I was eating my lunch.”
Lesli rubs her arms as a cold chill shakes her briefly.
“Hmm…” Aleshia looks back into the kitchen. “Well usually everyone eats their lunch in here, I’m surprised to see it feeling so dead.”
Lesli stares blankly, her hands frozen to the sides of her chair.
“Did you see them?”
“Umm yeah, I assumed they were going to eat in the shopping district or something?” Lesli says. “I just didn’t know and… er– I ended up eating here.”
Aleshia places her hands on her hips as she looks back out the kitchen door. “They didn’t invite you?” She says, a hint of disgust underlying her voice.
“No…” Lesli says quietly. “I mean they don’t have too–”
“That’s not how we do it around here.” Aleshia huffs. “If 70% of the girls are going to eat together, you all are.”
Lesli’s eyes shoot open. “Oh you don’t need to–”
“One second Lesli, we’re going to get this straightened out.”
Lesli rushes after Aleshia frantically, grabbing the corner of the kitchen counter to aid her turn. “Oh really, I mean you don’t need to like talk to them or anything–”
“I will!” Aleshia says.
“B–but we’re like adults, you kinda can’t tell them how to spend their break, right?”
“Well I am allowed to uphold our general morals of inclusivity, right?”
Lesli skips beside Aleshia as they enter the shopping district, trying to keep pace with her quick strides. “Mrs.Faulkner please no…”
“Why not?”
“It’s embarrassing. I’m way too old to have you intercede for me–”
“I’m sorry Lesli, but I have a business here, and there’s important rules at my shop on how we treat eachother…”
Lesli shrinks inside as they come into view of the rest of the girls, seated at one of the side tables.
“As the manager here I think it’s necessary I set the standards!” Aleshia says cheerfully, hugging Lesli from the side.
“O-ok, well I’m not going to be there and I highly recommend you don’t do this– And I don’t want them to think–”
“It’ll be fine Lesli.” Aleshia smiles, turning as she leaves Lesli standing, mortified, in the center hall of the shopping district.
Lesli waits, watching from behind the crowd, as Aleshia saunters over to the group. The girls nod quickly as Aleshia explains the issue with zest. Tris looks up, catching Lesli’s eye.
Lesli spins immediately, running through the throng of people crowding the way.
No no no no no no no…
“No!” Lesli whispers to herself, grumbling her way back to the bakery. She runs through the double doors, into the back.
“Hey Les.” Tauren stands wide eyes in the backroom, holding his paper sack lunch.
“Oh oh–” Lesli looks up at him, down to the lunch sack, and back up. “Tauren? What’re you doing here?”
Tauren runs a nervous hand through his curls. “Oh, our lunch breaks coincide for part of the time, so I thought I’d stop by. Looks like you’ve already had your lunch though.”
“Oh, that’s fine–” Lesli pulls out a chair for Tauren, and one for herself. “Y’know it’s employees only.”
“My mom runs the place, so I’m an honorary employee.”
“Oh.”
“Jeez, Les. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
“Oh! Sorry… I’m just still thinking about work.” She shakes her head, turning to look out at the kitchen.
Tauren frowns, following her eyes to the kitchen.
“I do appreciate you stopping by.” Lesli reaches over to ruffle Tauren’s curls.
He smiles, shoeing her hand away. “I got you somethin’.” Tauren hands Lesli a wilted flower, taken out of his overalls pocket.
“Gee thanks.”
“It’s a flower. I mean it was a flower–”
Lesli laughs. “No, it’s funny. I like it.”
“I know it’s ugly. You’re supposed to blow on it though. It’s something I figured out.” Tauren smiles with pride, slowly munching on his sandwich while Lesli adores the flower.
She blows hard, sending little seeds floating through the air. Tauren smiles.
“Woah!” Lesli’s eyes glimmer with excitement. “Where did you get this?”
“Picked it myself in the outer reaches. I thought you would like it.”
“The outer reaches?? But there’s no light out there, how could a plant grow?”
Tauren shrugs. “You tell me.”
Lesli’s break ends, and Tauren leaves to continue his work in the mines. A dirty cup from the sink serves as a temporary vase for the new flower, now only a stalk with a odd protrusion where the seeds used to be. Lesli admires the small plant, placing it behind the coffee maker as the other girls come filtering into the backroom. Lesli forces a small smile up at them, trying to gauge their reaction. Tris glares hard.
“I-I’m sorry.” Lesli stalls, feeling the eyes on her. “Aleshia got it in her head that I felt left out or something and she needed to talk to you guys…” Lesli laughs. “I have no idea what she said to you all.”
Tris smiles. “Oh ok, I was wondering what that was about.”
“No really, It’s fine. I barely even noticed you guys left.” Lesli cringes at the sound of her voice in the quiet.
Meg narrows her eyes slightly, looking up for Tris’s reaction. She shrugs. Lesli smiles wryly, hoping her words weren’t taken the wrong way.
They totally took that the wrong way.
Who cares though?
I don’t need friends that are girls anyways!
Lesli’s face reddens in defiance to her angry thoughts.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@mineralizedwritings It’s a bit sad that she’s kinda left out (whether self-imposed or not) but at the same time, I get where she’s coming from, I don’t like hearing about boys all the stinkin’ time.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@freedomwriter76
Love the scene and the backstory, but it definitely makes Erich anything but a bad guy, also that’s actually such a realistic backstory about being kicked out
I don’t know how much Jews do it, but a lot of religious will shun people if they go against their religion and even the family isn’t supposed to talk to them
Now can I just say something… YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF BOY MEETS WORLD OR GIRL MEETS WORLD????!!!
*faints*
they’re my comfort shows, (Girl Meets World is the sequel show to Boy Meets World) they’re Disney Channel (I never watch Disney Channel shows, but I love these ones)
anyways, it’s basically about two best friends blah blah,
but Erich reminded me of a line from Girl Meets World, and they assigned the forgiveness project in school, where they have to forgive someone so one of the girls writes a letter to their dad who left her and her mom when she was little. In the end, she realizes she’s not yet ready to forgive him, but then the teacher explains how he never wanted her to and then he asks
“Maya, did you forgive yourself?”
then she sobs cause she’s been blaming herself this whole time and then I cry and so on
you really should check out the shows, they’re amusing but also sweet
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-Thorne@freedomwriter76
Awww, Erichhh! 😭
But he sounds like such a cool POV to write from. 👀
I always love reading your writing. 😊 I feel like writing in present tense in becoming more popular now, at least in ya fiction, and I really enjoy it. I tried it once for a short story and failed miserably. 😂 But I might try it in a different short story sometime. 😛
@freedomwriter76 @mineralizedwritings @smiley @savannah_grace2009 @rae @hybridlore @keilah-h @lightoverdarkness6 @whalekeeper @anyone-else
Hey guys! So I rewrote the first two chapters of my main WIP and I’d like to get some feedback on them. Don’t feel obligated to read it if you don’t want to tho. 😉
It’s unedited, so don’t mind any errors. XD
M’kay. So I’d like to know a few things.
1. Were you drawn into the story right away?
2. What are your first impressions of these characters? (Specifically the MCs. I know some of y’all already know these charries, but just pretend this is the first time you’re meeting them. XD)
3. Are there any habits or things that keep showing up in my prose that slow the story down in any way?
4. What’s your opinion on the pacing? (This might be a hard question to answer since it’s only two chapters, but if you have some thoughts on it, I’d love to hear them)
5. What was your least favorite part about these two chapters?
6. And your favorite part?
Thank you guys so much!! I’ll put the chapters in a post underneath this one. (:
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
I apologize in advance in the formatting is weird. I’m not sure how this is gonna look once it actually posts. XD
Chapter 1
“This was a stupid idea.” Everton Barlowe stared at the geometric building towering above him.
“I told you,” his best friend Amidala said with a smirk.
“Well, I thought it would work.”
“Ev, when would any of your ideas actually work?”
“Come on. Cut me some slack. If a mysterious note showed up on your doorstep, wouldn’t you do what it says?”
Ami cocked an eyebrow, pursing her lips.
“I take that as a no.”
“We should go back home.”
“Relax. We’ll be fine.” Ev plunged into the darkness of the alley next to the building.
“Ev!”
He smirked, listening for her footsteps behind him. And… yep. There she was, an exasperated look on her face as she fell in step beside him.
“Ev, you can’t just expect that whoever left the note on your doorstep is actually safe.”
“I never did.”
She sighed. “You’re impossible.”
“I get that a lot,” he said with a grin.
“And I’m not surprised.”
“Shh.” He put his arm out and she slowed. He squinted into the darkness, making out the vague outline of a shadow.
The shadow came closer until Ev could make out a face in the slit of gray light streaming in from above. The man had oily hair draping over his ears and a shadow of a beard on his face. “You Everton Barlowe?”
“The one and only,” Ev said, unable to suppress the smirk that found its way onto his face.
The man came forward in confident strides until he stood only a few inches away from Ev. Ev lokoed up. He must have been over six feet tall.
“You understand that anything you hear from us from this point on is confidential and that if you tell anyone–anyone–and they rat us out, you will pay the price.”
Ev nodded solemnly. He felt Ami’s arm brush against his as she shuffled closer to him. He took a sidestep towards her.
The man backpedaled as more people emerged from the shadows. Ev felt out of place with his nice clothes and perfectly styled hair. These people must have been living on the street for a while. “What’s the deal?” Ev asked with a quick chin-up gesture. “What do you want me for?”
One of the shadow-shrouded people emerged and came towards Ev.
Ev turned his head slightly. What was Asher doing here? Asher seemed to read his expression and motioned with his head towards their leader.
“Alright. Our plan is to enact a coup on Bayron Len tonight.”
Ev couldn’t keep the bubble of excitement from rising inside of him. Finally, people were doing things. The Orb had covered their country for twenty years now and coup after coup had failed to annihilate the initiator of the Orb. Eventually, people had given up. Things had been quiet for years now. But this… this could change things. If they actually succeeded… Ev couldn’t keep from smiling to himself as he thought of the repercussions this would make.
“He’s supposed to be in his secondary office this evening, on the south side of the district. If you’re in, then meet us outside the building at seven tonight. If you’re not in, then you must swear to keep silent.”
Ev smirked. “I’m in.”
“You promise?”
“No one wants out of the Orb more than me.”
“Then you’ll have to prove it.”
Ev nodded firmly.
“Be there tonight. At seven.”
Ev gave them another nod as they disappeared back into the shadows. The only one that stayed was Asher. He sighed and met Ev’s eyes. “You sure about this?”
“Yes, Asher. Do you know what this could do? Just imagine what–”
“Slow down.” Asher took two steps towards him. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“Don’t burst my bubble,” Ev said flatly. “It will.”
“Alright, fine. Then what if something goes wrong?”
“Then I’ve learned my lesson.” Ev shrugged, his typical smirk still playing across his lips.
Asher shook his head, his lips pressed together.
“I know you want to laugh at me.”
His smile escaped. “I always want to laugh at you.”
“Ouch.” Ev turned to Ami. “What about you? You coming with?”
Her face was pale. She wet her lips. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Ok, but we established earlier that none of my ideas are ever good.”
No smile. “Ev, don’t do it.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No you won’t. I know you. And I know you’ll get hurt.”
Ev sighed, his smirk fading into a small smile. “Did that ever stop me? You don’t have to come with me, okay?” Honestly, he’d rather Ami stay back and stay safe than come with him and be at the risk of getting hurt or getting in trouble, like he was bound to. He turned to Asher. “I should walk her home. But I’ll see you soon.”
“You know it’s in two hours, right?”
Ev grinned. “Sweet. Sooner than I thought.”
He left the alley, still grinning, but Ami left, constantly tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. They were only walking down the sidewalk for a minute or two before Ev finally stopped and faced her. He tucked the strand of hair she had been messing with behind her ear. “There, that better?”
She managed an awkward smile. “I’m just so worried for you, Ev.”
“I’ll be fine. And if I’m not, you’ll nurse me back to good health, right?”
A genuine smile now. “Sure, I’ll do that.”
“Good.”
They continued down the sidewalk at a quicker pace. The sun was still blazing above them, but droplets of rain started to fall. After his whole life in the Orb, Ev had quickly learned that outside of the Orb the clouds were probably gray and billowing, ready to dump their stores of rain upon unsuspecting passersby. The sky flickered and the Orb finally fixed itself to reflect what the sky actually looked like. Yep–big, billowing clouds.
“We’d better hurry,” Ev said. They sped up to a jog, but it wasn’t fast enough. The sky poured all of its wrath upon them in the form of sharp rain and quick winds.
Ev grabbed Ami’s hand and led her down the street, their feet kicking up splashes of rainwater. Ami giggled. “Where are you taking me?”
“I’m trying to find us some place to take cover!” Ev said, casting a smile glance over his shoulder.
“We’ve passed like five different alleys? Are those not suitable?”
Ev laughed. “Of course not. If they were, then we’d be there.”
They ran through the rain, hand-in-hand and laughing, until they were in the gazebo at the park. Ev quickly slammed the open shutters to shelter them from the wind and rain. Smiling, he plopped onto the bench, sending up a spray of water. “You gonna sit down?” He asked, looking up at Ami.
She eyes the rainwater on the bench warily.
Ev rolled his eyes. “You’re already soaked. Come on. Sit down.”
She sighed and complied, daintily setting herself beside him. “Ok, you’re right. I’m already too wet for this to matter.”
He leaned back. “I’m always right.”
Her look told him that she didn’t believe him.
“Fine, I’m typically right… some of the time… if the conditions are right… and if I’m not being reckless.”
“That’s more like it.” She lifted her head.
Ev nudged her with his shoulder. “Are you trying to say that you’re right all the time?”
Ami smiled. “I could be implying that. I don’t know. Is that what you think?”
“If I say the wrong answer I’ll get the silent treatment, right?”
“You know me.”
“Then yes, Ami, you are always right.”
“Does that mean you’ll listen to me and not join that crazy group?”
“You have to be my nurse if I get hurt though.” He flashed her a playful smile.
She frowned. “I’ll be your nurse if you get hurt doing something else.”
His smile disappeared and he met her emerald green eyes. “Just let me do this, okay? This could change our lives.”
She sighed. “I won’t be able to stop you anyway.”
A small smile made its way back onto his face. “Very true.”
“Fine…”
Ev pulled his phone out of his pocket. Miraculously, the rain didn’t ruin it. He glanced at the time. “If this rain doesn’t stop any time soon, then I’ll have to leave to be there on time.”
Ami sighed again. Ev ended up being right. The rain pounded down upon the gazebo roof, not giving any indication that it planned to stop soon.
Ev stood up. “I have to go now. Are you going to walk home on your own?”
“Not in this weather.”
“Then you’ll wait for me?”
Ami smiled softly. “Sure. I’ll be waiting right here. Just promise me you’ll come back, okay?”
Ev grinned. “I promise.”
Chapter 2
Amidala Nadir tucked another wet lock of hair behind her ear. She caught her habit and sat on her hand to keep from fidgeting.
She gently pushed open the shutters to peek out at the dreary afternoon. When would Ev be back? The rain still poured from the heavens with the occasional lighting strike or thunder rumble. She knew where Ev was… Half of her told herself to go and make sure everything was okay. The other half was a louder voice that kept her glued to the gazebo bench.
Ami bit the inside of her cheek. An empty boom echoed outside and she jumped. A gunshot… From the direction Ev had gone.
She was out of the gazebo and running down the street before the other gunshots fired. Her worry seemed subtle under the pulse of adrenaline that flowed through her veins. Everything was a blur around her as she pushed her way through the crowd that collected outside the glass building.
Droplets of rain clung to the glass that lay shattered on the ground. Amir barely even noticed the shattered windows on multiple levels of the building. She slipped past the throng of soldiers trying to hold the people back. Her feet pounded up the stairs, leaving wet footprints on the linoleum steps.
She didn’t know where she was going and paused at the top of a staircase to catch her breath. She bent over, resting her hands on her knees. What was she doing? What if Ev wasn’t here anymore? He could very well be on his way to the gazebo in perfect condition, expecting to see her. But here she was, ignoring any rational thought and looking for her.
She straightened, tossing her wet hair behind her shoulder with a flick of her hand, sending water droplets flying onto the wall. A cacophony of shouts, commands, murmurs, and the clattering of items breaking flowed from the staircase in front of her.
She had a feeling in her gut that she should go through the open door at the top of the staircase. So she didn’t give herself a chance to make excuses and pounded up another flight of stairs. Her entrance into the room was unnoticed. Soldiers either apprehended ragtag young men and women or were attempting to. Ami’s gaze darted about the room, looking through the rush of people in the small office. She couldn’t hold back her gasp upon seeing a circle of soldiers surrounding a man lying on the ground.
The face, unmistakable.
Bayron Len.
A bandage was wrapped around his abdomen and his breathing was heavy and labored. He met her eyes and his pale lips quivered into a small smile. She frowned, turning to avoid his gaze. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bayron Len motion towards her.
She sidestepped, trying to become enveloped by the stream of people, but the two soldiers Len sent found her.
She looked up, trying to control her beating heart.
“The president would like to see you,” one said, reaching for her arm.
She froze, unable to move or speak.
“Don’t touch her,” a steady, tenor voice commanded from behind her.
Her eyes flicked from the soldier to her older brother Destry. He stepped in front of her, his fists clenched, and met the soldier’s eyes.
The soldier smirked. “You can’t do anything about it. If the president wants to speak to her, then the president gets to speak to her.”
Destry’s fists unclenched and her turned towards Ami. “Are you okay?”
She nodded numbly. “How’d you get here?”
“Mom sent me out to find you and I saw you run in here. What are you doing here?”
She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the soldier.
“That’s enough. We can’t keep the president waiting.”
Ami gave her older brother a fleeting look before following the soldiers to the other side of the room. She slowly crouched down beside the dying man. “You wanted to see me?” Her voice was only a whisper.
He nodded. “What is your– your–” He fell into a coughing fit, causing his soldiers to gravitate towards him. He held out a hand to shoo them away.
“My name?” Ami finished for him.
He nodded again.
“Amidala.”
His cracked lips turned up in a smile. “What a beautiful name.”
She forced a smile. Was that all he wanted to know?
“Can I trust you?”
Her gaze flicked around her, suddenly conscious of all the soldiers listening. “Um y-yeah. Yes.”
He made a motion to his soldiers and they reluctatnly left, standing about ten feet from the two of them. Once their backs were turned, he put a shaky hand into his pocket and pulled out a golden, oval shaped locket hanging from a chain. He gently grabbed her wrist and pressed the locket into her palm.
She met his eyes, a sudden weight falling upon their conversation. “What is this for?”
“Give it to him.” He raised his eyebrows for emphasis.
“Him? Who? I don’t understand.”
“To him. You’ll know.”
She frowned, unsure.
“One more thing,” he breathed. He clasped Ami’s steady hands in his shaky, clammy ones. “I know there’s a cure. Find it.”
“A cure for what?” Ami whispered.
Bayron Len’s eyes fluttered closed. His breathing slowed. “You’ll know.” His final words were barely a rasp. His breathing was hardly noticeable until it stopped.
A tear slipped down Ami’s cheek. She stood up and backpedaled, her eyes fixed upon his unmoving, pale face as the soldiers crowded around him. A steady hand was placed on her shoulder. “We need to go home.”
Ami nodded, turning to fall in step beside her brother.
“Ami!”
Her eyes shot up as Ev ran over to her. He met her eyes. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”
She nodded and managed a small smile. “I’m okay. I came to find you.”
“What’s that?” He pointed to the locket in her hands.
She held it up. “Oh, I, um… nothing.” She shoved it into her pocket.
Ev exchanged concerned glances with Destry.
Ami looked up at both of them. “I’ll tell you later. Now’s not a good time.”
Destry gave her a firm nod. “We need to get home. Things are about to get wild around here.”
Ev opened his mouth to add something but Asher jogged up from behind and spoke before him. “Ev let’s go.” His eyes flicked to Des, his brow furrowing in suspicion.
Ev nodded at his brother. “Alright.” He followed Asher out, glancing back at Ami and making a phone motion near his ear, mouthing the words, Call me later.
Ami gave him a nod.
She and Des left without a word. She barely noticed. Her mind was too preoccupied anyway. Why would Bayron Len choose her of all people to give this mysterious task to? She had never gotten within twenty feet of him before. And what was this mysterious task all about? A cure? Bring the locket to him? Who was him? And why was he supposed to remember?
Her head hurt from all the questions. Her gaze was still glued to the locket now in her hands as they stepped into their home.
“Ami! Where have you been?” Adalynn rushed to the front door. She looked from the locket to Ami’s face, then looked up at Destry. “What’s wrong?”
Des sighed. “I don’t know. But there may not be time for that. Len just got killed.”
Adalynn gasped.
“When I saw Ami she was running into the building that it happened.”
“Ami, what were you doing that for?”
Ami finally looked up at her mom. “I-I– he told me t-to– Mom, I need a drink of water.”
“Fynn, get your sister a glass of water.”
“What does Skylar need water for?” Her teenage brother complained from the living room.
“Amidala.”
“Huh?” He slid into the kitchen. After one glance at Ami’s face he had a glass of water sitting on the table in front of her in a few seconds.
She grabbed the glass and took a few shaky sips. After a couple deep breaths, she looked up at her mom with a steady gaze. “He gave me this.”
Adalynn examined the locket Ami held up. “But why?”
“He told me that–”
The door slammed open and was quickly closed. Ruben tossed his briefcase on the table. “We need to keep all the doors locked. Is everyone here?”
Adalynn stood up. “Yes, honey, what’s wrong?”
Ruben gave his wife a quick kiss. “Len’s been asassinated. Soldiers are roaming the streets looking for anyone involved.”
“Wait what? Someone got killed?” Skylar ran into the kitchen.
“Yeah, Dad just said that Len got asassinated,” Fynn explained with an edge of mischievousness in his tone.
“Cool!”
Ruben ignored their comments. “We need to stay put for a couple days. At least until everything calms down.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Ami said, standing up.
Ruben’s brow furrowed. But there was no time for an explanation. Someone pounded on the door.
“Open up!” They yelled. “Or we’ll force our way in.”
Ami swallowed. The soldiers were here.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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