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  • #130443
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 8156

      @lightoverdarkness6. Here it is!!! It’s completely unedited, and the final thing will probably be longer, bc it will have a “before” part that has when Riker first sees them, but this sweet scene has been in my head for a long time, and I finally got around to writing it. 💕💕💕💕💕💕

      I love this, even if it’s rough draft, and I’ll have to have all of these sweet little ones show up again. 🥰

      Riker glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and approached the fence.

      The food in his hands was still somehow, miraculously, undeniably warm.

      As soon as he approached the fence, eight little heads popped up, eyes filled with wonder. “You came back!?” One of the little boys cried, eyes widened in surprise.

      Riker smiled faintly. “I said I would come back, didn’t I? And guess what else? I brought food, just as I promised.”

      Another boy’s big, bright green eyes lit up. “Really!?”

      Riker nodded. “Really. I have plenty for all of you, so you can all eat something.” He pulled out the bread and meat, and all eight of the children’s’ eyes lit up.

      Riker smiled and began handing out the meat, one small piece at a time, handing it through the gaps in the fence, as the children’s small, skinny, dirty hands carefully reached out and took the pieces.

      All of the children gobbled up the meat, and fast.

      They reminded Riker of his own kids…so, so much.

      Once they had been given and eaten the last of the meat, Riker handed them the bread.

      They gobbled it up just as quickly, and they all looked up at him with smiles. “Thank you, sir,” they chorused.

      “You’re welcome.” Riker whispered. These kids were so grateful for even the smallest amount of food.

      The oldest one there, a small girl still no older than twelve, smiled softly. “Thank you, sir…you’re very nice to bring us food…no other soldier does.”

      Riker smiled softly. “I’m happy to.”

      “Do you have any more?” The boy with the bright green eyes asked.

      The oldest girl turned to him with her hands on her hips. “Josef! Be kind! He didn’t have to bring us any food, and you should be grateful.”

      “I am…” Josef mumbled, gaze falling.

      Riker smiled. “It’s alright, Josef…I’m afraid I don’t have any more. I gave you all the food I had. But I may be able to bring some more tomorrow, if you’ll all be here to meet me again.” He smiled and looked at all of the kids. “What are all of your names?”

      The oldest girl almost rolled up her sleeve, to show the numbers tattooed there, but Riker shook his head. “Your real names.”

      They quickly introduced themselves. The oldest girl was Natalia. The boy who had first spoken was Aleksander. Josef replied by saying Riker already knew his name. Then the final five kids introduced themselves as Sophia, Israel, Judah, Simon, and Simona.

      Simon, a little boy with big, bright brown eyes, pointed at Simona. “Me and Simona are twins. Our Papa had to leave us…but our Mama is over here.”

      Simona looked up at Riker. “I like hide and go seek…” She whispered shyly.

      Riker smiled. Glanced around again.

      At this time of day, no one was around this area of the camp.

      He slowly sat down on the dirt and gave all eight of the children a smile. “Well, why don’t all of you sit down? You can talk about whatever you want…I’m here to listen.”

      Natalia raised an eyebrow, sitting down and motioning for the younger kids to do the same. “…Anything?”

      Riker smiled and nodded, giving these innocent children the kind of attention they deserved to have. “Anything.”

      #130444
      MineralizedWritings
      @mineralizedwritings
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3005

        @freedomwriter76

        Hey!

        Glad it’s the weekend too! Wooo Riker!!! 🥰🥰

        Well not sure if being told I’m your dad not your friend put me in the greatest mood 😅 so yeah… at least my heart isn’t beating hard anymore XD Just idk… releived because it’s just one more sign I need to worry about myself and stop trying to fix stuff, but mixed emotions y’know.

         

        Other than that, I just filmed a speedpaint. I still need to edit it, but yeah! I usually upload to instagram, it’s what I’m used to and I like their music library, but I kinda want to try youtube… that means I’d have to find royalty free music though instead of picking one of my favorite christian artists (insta has like all the music XD) My parents got me a overhead tripod a couple months ago and it’s been fun.

        And I’m procrastinating history reading… Salem witch trials and new world conquistadors.

        I’ll have to go read that scene with Riker sometime!

        P.s. I spent forever looking through like half the moodboard forum to find a pic of Rueben XD I was trying to tell my sis how much I liked him and wanted to show her him lol.

        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

        #130446
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 8156

          @mineralizedwritings.

          Yay for the weekend!!! 😁 Yesssss, Riker!!! 🥰🥰🥰

          Aww, girl, I’m sorry you’re not in the best mood. I’m praying for you still! 💕🙏🏻

          And hey, girl…just know that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. God understands where you are, he understands you more than you do, and he loves you even in your brokenness. 💕💕💕💕 He loves when we’re honest, and he’s not afraid of our hurt and our scars.

          Yeah, I know about mixed emotions. I’ve felt those a lot. And I think everyone has felt that urge to fix everything, so you’re not alone. 💕🙏🏻💕

          A speedpaint!? That’s EPIC!!! That’s so cool!!! (And I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but your art is absolutely AMAZING!!! 😁😁😁)

          I understand procrastination. 🤣😅😂 I’m normally that way about Science/Math, lol. And English, if it’s a subject I don’t want to read or write about. 🤷🏻‍♀️

          Oh goodness!!! 😂😂😂 I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I did that before looking through pictures to find one of November for something I made for Godly, lol. 🤣🤣 It took SO LONG to find, lol!

          And since you mention him…what is it about Reuben that you love so much? I’m kinda curious to figure out everyone’s favorites out of The Boys…😂 We all know mine, lol.

          💕💕Leo💕💕

          #130458
          GodlyFantasy12
          @godlyfantasy12
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 6645

            Aww Riker!!! So sweet 😭 those poor children!!!

             

             

            agh…

             

             

            btw, is anyone on? I’ve been getting really inspired about my second book in my series recently (even tho I’m not currently “working” on it XD)

             

            but tonight I started worrying that it’s getting a bit too dark, without enough light. I really need to make sure/want to make sure I portray the light that overcomes the dark, but it is a pretty dark chapter in Lyn’s life, and the series overall, so I can’t just skip over that, it’s just finding a way to make sure the light shines brightest in the darkest. And not just for Lyn.

            I think that’s what I’m struggling with if that makes sense, because in the end, Lyn leaves so she’s gonna be fine, but what about everyone else?

            like I already have planned that Lyn hands Cirque over to someone else (a very important side character) who is going to turn everything around, but we don’t get to see that change.

            Ya know? So all we have to go off of is what happens while Lyn is there.

             

            but there are others who need hope too, but…they’re all anti-heros and antagonists.

             

            I want to make sure I keep God alive and the main theme of everything. The dark only needs to be there to show off the light, and while I do love me some uhh “crazy” characters and circus stuff, which is also why I’m writing this lol, I gotta remember God is first in it, for my readers sake but also for my own self mentally and spiritually because dont need to be indulging or writing a book that is only full of darkness.

            But I’m struggling with that mostly in this book.

            I know that’s a lot but….

             

            any ideas?

             

            I’ve had one so far and that’s, for each book, to find scriptures relating to the themes of those books, or what I want to portray, and keeping them forefront of my Scriv or notion doc and stuff.

             

            but other then that any ideas would be appreciated!

            #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
            #ProtectMarcel
            #ProtectSeb

            #130460
            MineralizedWritings
            @mineralizedwritings
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3005

              @freedomwriter76

              Aww, girl, I’m sorry you’re not in the best mood. I’m praying for you still! 💕🙏🏻

              <3<3<3

               

              Yeah, I know about mixed emotions. I’ve felt those a lot. And I think everyone has felt that urge to fix everything, so you’re not alone. 💕🙏🏻💕

              Thanks girl!! : )

              A speedpaint!? That’s EPIC!!! That’s so cool!!! (And I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but your art is absolutely AMAZING!!! 😁😁😁)

               

              Yeah it’ll be fun!! Thanks! I dunno If I can properly explain how much it makes my day when people tell me they like my art 😁 It just makes me so happy! XD

              I understand procrastination. 🤣😅😂 I’m normally that way about Science/Math, lol. And English, if it’s a subject I don’t want to read or write about. 🤷🏻‍♀️

              Yeah… math Blech.

              And since you mention him…what is it about Reuben that you love so much? I’m kinda curious to figure out everyone’s favorites out of The Boys…😂 We all know mine, lol.

              Well then.

              Pls excuse my Reuben Rant.

              Oh… well I’ll be honest it’s the first more of like complete thing I’ve read of yours. I’ve read the first parts of maybe two different books, but I don’t connect until the real character stuff that’s usually later in books. So yeah, I saw a more full circle view of a character than I had before. Honestly, he’s just sooo extremely relatable, and his relationship with Riker is sweet, and him wanting to save Wolfgang is sweet and sad. I gotta say I really felt his worry, like it felt real. And you picked a great picture for him XD He’s simply my fav! 🤩🤗

               

              💕💕Leo💕💕

              XDXD I gotta read more of him!!

               

              🥰Rueben🥰

              "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

              #130464
              GodlyFantasy12
              @godlyfantasy12
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 6645

                I also luv Reubeeeeen!!!

                #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                #ProtectMarcel
                #ProtectSeb

                #130465
                MineralizedWritings
                @mineralizedwritings
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 3005

                  @godlyfantasy12

                  Oh interesting issue…

                  I’ve had a similar thing lately, my fourth book is quite dark, I think I nearly took it too far 😅 I’m usually the super sensitive person, but when it comes to things I’ve even remotely experienced, I feel full liberty to take it all the way. It makes me feel seen, but I tend to forget that even if I’m fine with it, It shouldn’t be there just too be there.

                  I think the best way to combat it is through good relationships, but I mean there are times where those are not there. If your character does not have good relationships, I would emphasize the relationship with God. The person doesn’t even have to be saved, or whatever your equivalent is of that. I know somebody who had answers to prayer before they became a christian, it could be an eye opening moment. Also, I new somebody who grew up in a really bad home, and I remember her saying that in the midst of this really scary situation, she prayed, and God gave her peace. So I feel like a moment like that, when everything is falling apart around the character God intervenes even if in a small way, I think that goes a long way.

                  Idk where I stand on the how much to show thing. I like to think of one of my favorite series (haikyuu!!) It’s manga, so different formatting there lol. Book 40 (which I own, was really good despite the cringy cover) I remember they had a sad scene that was slightly disturbing in somebody’s backstory, but they were super careful about it. In stead of showing the physical harm done to the character (which wasn’t a whole lot) they showed another character’s brief reaction to seeing it. It was still a little jarring, but I felt the author did a very good job of showing what happened without it being dis-tasteful, if You get what I’m saying. Obviously, it’s a different type of writing and I’m not sure that is of any help at all 😂

                  In the part of not getting to see the change, idk what the scene is, but It would be helpful to have the character tell her what they plan to do. Like, idk. Just some kinda quote to leave her with about how this can be tuned around and they’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Again idk the scene 🤣 It would be great if it was something she can remember ti give her hope later on though.

                  (You’ve read wingfeather saga, right? Think how Janner inspired Sara to keep going)

                  And yeah! Reading bible verses would be great for that, sounds like a plan. I’ll pray for you that you are able to figure it out!

                  "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                  #130466
                  GodlyFantasy12
                  @godlyfantasy12
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 6645

                    @mineralizedwritings that is really great advice! Honestly that really helps me, you have no idea. I was kinda afraid Id be like…idk…

                    Not zeroed out 😂 but hearing that you’re struggling with it too made me feel better lol!

                     

                    But those ideas are wonderful and really make me see things in perspective!

                    #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                    #ProtectMarcel
                    #ProtectSeb

                    #130468
                    MineralizedWritings
                    @mineralizedwritings
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3005

                      @godlyfantasy12

                      Yay! Glad that helped! I wasn’t sure 😂 And yeah, I think all moral things with books are on somewhat of a see-saw. You put something in, question it, maybe even leave it and then edit it out later. I mean I think our standards change depending on how we are doing in life, so it’s going to change sometimes too. We try to get it right at first, but you can’t get everything right the first time. Just like what’s sin for one person isn’t for another, what might not have sin to younger you could be now, and vice versa. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, I think its really important to look at why you write what you write, and of course, pray about it. 🙂

                      "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                      #130469
                      MineralizedWritings
                      @mineralizedwritings
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3005

                        @godlyfantasy12

                        And I didn’t mean that ‘i can edit it out later’ would be an excuse to write whatever XD

                        You probably knew that wasn’t what I meant but I felt like clarifying lol.

                        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                        #130476
                        Light
                        @lightoverdarkness6
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1643

                          @freedomwriter76

                          Ahhh RIKER!!! He is SO PRECIOUS ❤❤❤❤❤!! Ugh those little hungry kids 💔😭💔😭 Ugh that is such a sweet scene ❤❤❤ I love it!!

                           Aww, I’m sorry this morning was rough, but I’m glad you’re doing better now!!! ❤️❤️❤️ You’re very welcome!!! 😁💕 And I’m doing pretty well. I’m doing better than I was a week or so ago…just trying to take each day as it comes, y’know? 😊🥰

                          Thank you so much!! ❤❤❤ Oh, that’s good! Yes, I know exactly what you mean 😊🥰.

                          Yes, it is SOOO GOOD yet soooo sad!!! 😭💕 And after rereading it…I think I know where the inspiration for Hans came from…🤔😅 Ooh, cool! What book are you rereading, if you don’t mind sharing? 😁 Yeah…I’m always a fast reader. 🤣 I’ll read new books even in 1 week or less quite often, lol. 😂😂😂

                          Yes!!! 😭😭😭❤ Haha, yeah, lately I’ve found out too how much my characters are like some of my different favorite charries from books and movies 😂😂.

                          I’m re-reading a book called “The Alliance.” Here’s the summary!

                          It’s 18 years after the nuclear holocaust and the end of civilization, as we know it. Survivors are being relocated to a new society known as the Alliance. It seems like a dream come true for many of the new citizens. Crime, as well as harmful emotions, such as anger and prejudice have been eliminated, because the Alliance has computerized control over it’s citizens from a computer chip that has been implanted in everyone. Eric Lloyd discovers the Alliance’s corrupt power structure and vows to destroy it. But can one person change the world?

                          It’s really good. It is a great story about being your own person, the value of Freedom, and the price that comes with it. It is one of my favorite books of all time!

                          #HugRikerSquad

                          #130480
                          Anonymous
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 692

                            Hey, guys.

                            I don’t know if you saw my last comment on here. No pressure but I’d really like some critiques good and bad on my short story. It’s called Jessica’s Last Christmas. It’s a prequel short story to a sci-if series I’m writing. If you like the short story and want to be tagged when I start sharing the 1st book. Please let me know. I’ll be sharing it in March after I do the 2nd draft/3rd edits.

                            #130482
                            Light
                            @lightoverdarkness6
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1643

                              @sarafini

                              Okay! Oof, so sorry! I haven’t had much time to read it, but I’ve got some now. I’ll go find it!

                              #HugRikerSquad

                              #130483
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                • Total Posts: 692

                                @lightoverdarkness6

                                It’s np. I just thought I’d send out another request here since the last one seemed to have gotten buried without anyone seeing it. Lol. Like I said, no pressure but it’s been up for a while and I didn’t know who to tag when I put it up.

                                #130494
                                Esther
                                @esther-c
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 3459

                                  @sarafini

                                  When I get the time, I will for sure read it!! 🙂


                                  @lightoverdarkness6
                                  @godlyfantasy12 @freedomwriter76 @mineralizedwritings @anyone-else

                                  Ok…

                                  So… when I write my stories or books, I imagine them as movies. Complete with music and different camera angles. 😂 😂 (Now, I couldn’t hum the music or anything. It’s just there. Lol)

                                  So is anyone with me on this? Do y’all do the same thing? Or am I the only one? XD

                                  Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

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