- This topic has 6,982 replies, 64 voices, and was last updated 12 hours, 45 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I am partially here…
….supposedly doing schoolwork tho…
Might pop into the conversation at random times XD
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@godlyfantasy12 @lightoverdarkness6
Hola!!
I’m here!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Hi!! Wow, we’ve got a good bit of people on! now we know when’s the best time to talk I guess!
#HugRikerSquad
Lol!
Some of my friends hug me and some don’t. I’m normally the one who doesn’t do that, lol. (don’t worry. I still accept hugs from them. XD It’s not like I don’t like hugs. XD)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Probably not the happiest, I was writing a sad scene yesterday XD I’m working on trying to take more time with my writing and focus on how it sounds versus how much I write. What do you think?
Tauren slinks forwards through the main mining hallway, head down. He looks up slightly from under his hard hats brim, watching the shadowed figures of the other miners mingle. A familiar dull yellow light flits through a kicked-up dust cloud ahead. Tauren takes in a heavy breath, holding it through the dust cloud. Narrowing his eyes, he feels the dust entering his nose.
C’mon.
Hold it a little longer.
That’s all you’ve got?
Tauren lets out his pent-up air is a gasp, bending over to catch his breath. Sharp particles sting his nose, causing him to cough. Boots pounding the rocky ground, he runs through to the other side. Tauren reaches out for a side post, feeling his insides heave with each breath. It’s scratchy and splintered surface digs at his callused hands as he grips it tight. Another round of coughing comes. Tauren starts to bring up his elbow to cover his mouth, but resigns in exhaustion. Turning the next corner into a smaller hallway, Tauren eyes the end of the tunnel.
I really don’t feel like doing this…
He sighs, regripping his pickaxe. Tauren feels his tired muscles resist as he swings the pickaxe back.
Why is my life so hard?
The hard metal of his pick contacts the rock wall. Rock crumbles, falling to his feet. He eyes up the wall again, aiming for a weaker crack.
Another swing.
Tauren brings the pick back over his shoulder. Lunging it forwards, he throws his anger into the wall. A couple of rocks crumble, but the larger section remains intact.
Another swing.
Wipes sweat onto his forearm.
Another.
Another. The hard wall reverberates up Tauren’s arm with each protest of the wall, shaking his bones. Bending over, Tauren drops his pick. It clatters to the ground as he catches his breath.
Phew.
Can I go home now?
Tauren smiles ruefully before snatching up his pick again. He tightens his hands around it’s smooth wooden handle.
I want an escape from this.
Another swing. Tauren grits his teeth in anger. Anger at the world, his circumstances…
…And anger at this stupid wall.
Would it just fall apart for me?
Shaking his head, Tauren answers himself.
No, It won’t.
Life won’t ever be that easy.
Rocks pieces clatter to the ground. Scraping his boots across the floor, Tauren scuffles over to a shovel. He bends down, ignoring the protests of his worn out back.
So yeah. That’s pretty sort but I spent a long time making it sound better. Any critques anyone?
How’s Mathew doing? (not so good according to the castle, I’ve seen XD)
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I’m doing pretty good. I haven’t been writing as much lately, trying to get back in the groove, if you know what I mean. How about you?
Aww poor Tauren!! I feel you buddy. Great job on that scene! Writing wise and overall. I don’t have any critiques, it sounds great to me!! Yeah, that’s how I write too. Not as much, but better quality.
Haha, yeah, Matthew’s not doing great heh. Well, he’s doing better now, but yeah. I’m actually getting to his part in my book, so I’m really excited about that!
#HugRikerSquad
@estherc @mineralizedwritings @lightoverdarkness6
Ok group hug!!
🙂 <3 <3
Hope you all are doing well. Mineralized, I get that. I tend to feel sad when I’m writing a sad part too. Poor Tauren! He’s working so hard! I like the way you described the dust and the sweat– it feels real.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Thanks!
Wow, that’s super exciting! Tell me about it!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Thanks! 😀
*Joins group hug*
I’m doing ok at the moment, how about you?
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Pretty good!! Thanks for asking! 🙂
I haven’t been writing as much lately, trying to get back in the groove, if you know what I mean.
I get that. I’ve noticed that school is taking longer for me so that takes up time to write. Plus, for about half of the week, we have things to do in the afternoons. I can’t normally write at night because in the evenings is really when our family spends time together. Sooo… finding time to write has been difficult. I either don’t have time or don’t feel like it. XD But I plan to finish the first book in my trilogy by the end of the month!
Excuse my rant. XD
Great job on that scene!! I like how you were like describing how he felt as he pickaxed the wall, but also making that parallel to how his life felt. (If that makes sense, lol)
So maybe this sounds terrible…
but…
when I write a sad scene…
I get kind of excited.
(It really does sound horrible XD)
What I mean is, I feel bad for my poor charries, but I’m normally excited at how good the writing turned out. One of my best pieces of writing in my opinion was a sad scene. XD
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@felicity @mineralizedwritings @esther-c
Haha, yeah, group hug!! Okay, no more sadness allowed. I’m going to write a random happy scene sometime today and share it.
Min, your welcome!! Oh okay!! Hold on just one second.
#HugRikerSquad
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.